Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Summary: Harry Potter is possessed by the spirits of Shishio Makoto, Himura Kenshin, and Seta Sojiro. Carrying their three swords, Harry hunts down the supposedly dead Voldemort. Just one problem: the Dark Lord is staying with his cousin, the snake sannin. Chp25!
1. Snakes and Schizophrenic SwordsWizards

A/N: -glares at **korrd**-

This is all **_your _**fault. If you hadn't sent all those PM's asking for a Harry/Kenshin crossover, this never would have happened. Now I have this, **_Digimon 00_**, **_Card Captor Harry_**, **_Uzumaki Naruto_**, **_Raven_**, and **_Dark Heart_** to worry about! **_You realize how many fics I'm working on all at the same time_**?

-_grumbles off, muttering under his breath…_-

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 1: Snakes and Schizophrenic Swords-Wizards

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry, or anyone else that anyone would recognize. Please don't sue me.

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Orochimaru smirked as his cousin grumbled under his breath, pacing all around the room he had given him in the Hidden Village of Sound. "Told you it was a bad idea."

"Shut up, Orochimaru," Voldemort said.

"'We have immortality', I told you. 'Wait a while', I told you. 'Bide your time', I told you. 'Just live until all your major competition is dead of old age', I told you. Remember any of that?" Orochimaru said gleefully.

"Shut UP, Orochimaru," Voldemort said.

"So instead, you provoke the Wizarding World into open warfare, motivate the person who's suppose to be the one to kill you to _want_ to kill you, and nearly get killed by a seventeen year old in a rather spectacular fashion because all but one of your precious horcruxes have been destroyed, loosing the army and nearly all support you've been able to gather in one fell swoop, just because you thought it was safe to raid your old school since your old teacher was supposedly dead. Now, nearly the whole world thinks your dead, and all you've got is your wand, what little you've been able to hoard away, a horcrux, and me, your dear cousin, who might, or might _not_, decide to help you," Orochimaru finished, sounding and feeling very smug.

"_Crucio!_"

The snake sannin idly dodged the curse. "You know, if you want my help, _cousin_, cursing me- literally and figuratively, is not a good idea."

"As you just said, I've lost nearly everything," Voldemort hissed. "Excuse me for being a _tad_ wound up."

Orochimaru sighed. "Typical Tom. You're missing the bigger picture."

"What bigger picture?"

"Everyone thinks you're dead. _Really _dead. After all, all your horcruxes are supposedly gone. So they won't be expecting you coming back."

Voldemort paused. An evil grin began to spread over his face…

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The boy sighed. This was what, the eighth time this month? At this point, it was more of an annoyance than a threat. Even if the bandits did look more scarred than Mad-Eye Moody.

He could hear the most murderous of his psyches yelling out for blood, to cut down these weaklings where they stood and be done with it, but his more reasonable spirit suggested maybe reasoning with them, so that maybe they could get out of this without anyone getting killed.

He opted for option two. The third of his psyches was, as usual, silent. He seldom spoke, except during a fight, and late at night when the other two were feeling philosophical about things other than the nature of power and the role of the strong. It was a pity, since of the three, the third one was the one closest to him in mindset.

As if on automatic, the boy heard himself trying to diffuse the situation, and he knew that it was the second personality talking. He was making yet another 'lets-not-fight-why-can't-we-be-friends' speech, which the first persona was sneering at yet again, and which the boy himself was finding a little repetitive. Privately, he was counting down how long before the bandits who'd ambushed him would attack, unconsciously setting his feet apart in a ready stance he'd picked up from the three.

Inside, he heard the second personality sigh and do the equivalent of a shrug as the bandits approach, knives, swords and other pointy-slashy-edgy implements of pain held at the ready. Sighing himself, the boy put his hand on his sakabatou…

About twenty seconds later, the boy was walking away, his sword already sheathed. Behind him, the bandits were still standing in the poses they'd been a while ago, as if paused, before slowly collapsing to the ground, all unconscious, and all with only a few bruises. When they'd come to in a few ours, all they'd remember was a thin boy with long dark hair, and a lightning bolt-shaped scar on his forehead, before darkness stole their minds and memories.

And thus, the legend of the Raikiri Battōsai was born, spread on wings of fear and awe…

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_You're pathetic,_ Shishio said lazily as he did the spirit equivalent of lounging around.

_Shut UP, bandages,_ Harry thought at the arguably insane and evil dead swordsman.

The nut as usual ignored him, continuing on with monologue number fifteen. _You had them at your mercy. The techniques, skills, power and knowledge of three of the most powerful swordsmen of their time reside in your head, and you leave little weaklings like them **alive**? Are you soft in the head, or something?_

_Don't listen to him, Harry-kun,_ Kenshin said, leveling Shishio with the spirit equivalent of a glare. _You did the right thing._

_Oh, please,_ Shishio said, and by his tone, wanted to roll his eyes. _Sōjirō, help me out here!_

Sōjirō, as usual, tried to stay neutral, forced as he was between the opposing veiwpoints of his two inspirations. _Your form is getting better, Harry-kun, although you're still a little slow. Your speed is steadily approaching the levels ours were at our peak, and…_

_Are you listening to me, Sōjirō?_ Shishio screamed.

_Leave him alone!_ Kenshin said, and the two degenrated into pointless bickering that Harry managed to ignore, pushing them into the back of the psyche, as he listened to Sōjirō's analysis of how the fight had gone…

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The whole Wizarding world was happy, and why shouldn't it? After all, Voldemort was finally dead! Killed by the Chosen One, no less, the Boy-Who-Lived. There had been many witnesses, so there could be little doubt. In short order, the Ministry, under the new Minister for Magic Arthur Weasley, had more or less flushed it's system of corruption, accounted for every single Death Eater and, with the help of a new spell created by Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood, were hunting down and killing Dementors left and right. Morale was the highest it has ever been in years, and it was all thanks to Harry Potter.

Disturbingly, though, only a select few knew he'd practically disappeared off the face of the planet.

Hermione Granger was one of the select few, and she was currently doing her equivalent of moving Heaven, hell and Earth to find him. Or at least, some indicator of where he was. At the moment, she was backtracking, going through official records to account for his activities.

She was fairly certain she'd tracked him down to a known Wizarding town in Japan, but that was where the trail had ended. Privately, she wished Percy were still here to help, but he had died defending the Ministry from a siege of Death Eaters. She could have really used his knowledge of foreign matters.

Few knew that Harry was firmly convinced that Voldemort was still alive, and every single one of them were keeping a firm lid on it. He did not need any more pity. If the Wizarding World started thinking their hero had become unhinged…

Firmly squashing that thought, Hermione kept on researching. She of all people knew better than to judge anything Harry said, since he was usually close enough to home, but the implications of doing so were frightening. Because it meant that everything wasn't over yet.

Swallowing, Hermione sent a silent prayer up above, hoping the boy she loved was alright…

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Ginny stared out the window, watching the rain as it made streaks down the glass. She knew she was all alone in the Burrow. Her mother was with her father, attending some official Ministry function or other. Ron was on a date with Luna at said function, and the twins were busy making sure the memorial to Percy would be completed on schedule for tomorrow. His death had hit them hardest, harder than it had hit their mother, surprising as that was.

She drew Harry's Invisibility Cloak around herself as she hugged the pillow she was holding, inhaling the scent that had somehow sank into the fabric. If she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine it was Harry enfolding her in an embrace as she held Hermione in her arms. Sadly, the older Gryffindor girl was spending another late night going through records looking for their Harry, so she was alone again that night.

How could he have left them? Didn't he realize they needed him? How could he? How?

Silently, Ginny stared out the window, the water streaming down the panes as tears flowed down her cheeks…

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: There, the first chap is done.

Don't think you're getting off so easy for making me write, **korrd!** From now on, I want _really _long reviews on _all_ my fics from you! It's only fair! Oh, yeah, I'm not sure which sword Sōjirō broke in his fight with Kenshin, whether it's the _Nagasone Kotetsu_ or the _Kikuichimonji Norimune. _Tell me which, will you? If only for the need for accuraccy…

Ahem…

That done, why did I do it like this? Simple. I think time-travel fics, and time travel stories in general, are really weak (of course, that's just the limited ones I've seen, so I'm slightly biased), unless it's done _very_ well, like the **_Back to the Future_** series, or **Foxie-sama**'s fic, **_For The Love of My Friends_**. Besides, this was more fun! I got the idea from a fic I read once in the now-defunct Crossover Corner, where Ranma gets a hold of a haunted sword that possesses his girl side, which sent him in time and sets him against Kenshin. This is a modified form of that idea. Kudos to that fic's writer, apologies that I can't remember your name.

Where the swords and stuff came from will be discussed in later chaps. If you'll notice, I don't explain much in my pilot fics, merely setting up the situation for the later insanity.

Please review, C&C welcome. Heck, even flames are welcome. That means at least it's being read, if not liked. Just nothing, absolutely **_NOTHING_** on the pairings, implied or otherwise.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off. I have to go research on three sets of special attacks, not to mention do my other fics…


	2. The Return of Evil Stores!

A/N: Hey, I'm back. Let's get this show on the road…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 2: 'Crazy Things You Find In Stores' or 'Return of Evil Shops!'

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything but the plot. Please don't sue me.

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_Harry wandered the shop in seemingly idle fashion, flitting from one thing to another as they caught his eye. And there were a lot of things to flit through, even if Harry really didn't have much of an interest in the things. Still, what male can't be interested in sharp, pointy, slashy implements of mass destruction and death? After all, the first things kids play with are scissors (perfect for cutting and mutilating), hammers (smash galore!), and pens and pencils (poke, poke, poke!). _

_Still, idle shopping really wasn't what Harry was here for. Truth be told, he was on the trail of Voldemort, and what little he'd been able to gather had led him to this shop. Supposedly, it was one of the few 'establishments' that had open trade with the so-called 'Hidden Countries', something Harry had heard about in an obscure text somewhere, and in Dumbledore's private notes, which he had willed to Harry to help him against Tom. Riddle apparently had a relative in the Hidden Countries, a powerful relative, but fortunately, Dumbledore's notes also mentioned he had a friend in said area, one he had said could help if needed. Harry was willing to take anything he could get, beg, steal, buy or borrow._

_Speaking of buying…_

_Harry glanced at the shopkeeper again. He knew he wasn't the shop owner, since that was who Harry was waiting for, but he kept giving Harry stern looks. He supposed that people here weren't usually encouraged to just wait around in a shop. From the looks of it, if he didn't buy something, or look like he was going to buy something, he was likely to get thrown out, business with owner or no business with owner. _

_Deciding that he had enough money to buy a knick-knack or three, Harry wandered over towards the counter, where three old-looking swords were on display._

"_That's a nice set you have there," Harry said flawlessly, and with a passable accent. No one would believe he'd learned Japanese in two weeks, using an insane combination of flash cards, audiotapes, tutoring lessons with Hermione, anime soundtracks, and subtitled anime. He couldn't believe it either. _

_The shopkeeper smiled a wide, obviously fake smile, launching into a sales pitch about how old they were, and how they were supposedly owned by legendary swordsmen. Harry smiled vapidly, nodding along and occasionally asking questions to keep him moving. When the guy had apparently run through the spiel of everything he knew or had made up about the swords- obviously made up; no one could possibly be able to do the things the man had said had been done with the swords- Harry, thinking that these knickknacks were probably no worse than all the other knickknacks in the shop, started haggling. By the time the elderly owner of the store finally came in, money was finally being exchanged, and the shopkeeper was wrapping the swords up in brown paper, and obviously insincere smile on his face, and handing them to Harry._

_The minute his hands touched the package, Harry felt like he'd been hit by a ton of bricks…_

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Harry jerked awake in an instant, hand grasping one of the three swords at his waist, heart racing and muscles primed. He held this pose for all of a second and a half, before relaxing, remembering it was all a dream of a memory.

The fire he'd made earlier that night were just smoldering embers now, casting little to no light, but that was alright. The full moon gave more than enough illumination; enough for him too see there was no one else anywhere close by. But then, looks could be deceiving, especially here, in the Hidden Countries.

Realizing the sword he was grasping was Shishio's sword- _Mugenjin_- Harry drew his hand away as if burned. Thankfully, there were no snide remarks from the former warlord, who was currently 'resting' in the spirit equivalent of sleep. Lazy bum.

_The dream again, huh,_ Sojiro said.

_Yeah_, Harry said.

How was Harry to know those three swords carried in them the spirits of their owners? Really, it was like he had a big sign on his back saying, "Hey, universe, screw me over!"

The only thing worse would have been if he'd been possessed by a girl or something…

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"Um, excuse me, does anyone know the way to Fire Country? I'm looking for a place called Konohagakure," Harry asked in his best 'don't mind me, I'm just a little 'ole wanderer with a weird scar and three swords, nothing to be excited about' voice.

The group of people he asked collectively blinked, but as one pointed towards the other end of the bridge he was standing on.

Harry nodded, bowing respectfully. "Thank you."

Turning, he headed down the direction they'd pointed him in. About ten steps later, he stopped, turned around, and said. "Excuse me, but I couldn't help being curious: what exactly is going on here?"

The whole bunch of people sweatdropped.

An old man wearing a rather sweaty red shirt and glasses pointed at the shirtless man whose mouth was covered in bandages and carrying a huge sword on his back, one that Kenshin, Shishio and Sojiro were fairly sure Cho would have coveted. "He's trying to kill me!" the old man said.

Harry blinked. "Oh."

Inside, the three souls, Sojiro included, sweatdropped.

_Man, this guy sure took his time on the uptake…_ Sojiro mused.

Shishio 'glared' at Kenshin. _This is all your fault! Your wussy ways have turned a perfectly good, angsty teen with the potential to become a soulless killer into an idiot!_

_Shishio, I can hear you,_ Harry said.

_Who are you calling wussy, you Imhotep reject!_ Kenshin retorted. A Kenshin/Shishio scream-fest promptly started.

Sojiro and Harry sweatdropped. Internally, of course.

_Um, maybe you should get back to the matter at hand?_ Sojiro suggested.

_Good idea_, Harry said, casting one more nervous 'glance' at the two former hitokiri.

Harry raised his hand to scratch his head in apparent confusion. "Uh, why are they trying to kill you?" he asked in perfect Kenshin fashion. He was getting good at the 'sweet and innocent' bit.

"Because some bastard named Gatou told them to!" the blond wearing the bright orange jumpsuit yelled from where he was standing inside what looked like a dome made of free-standing panes of glass- or was that ice?

Harry blinked. "That's the name of the guy on the other side of the bridge with all those goons. You're working for him?"

"He is," the girl with pink hair said, pointing at the shirtless man.

Harry could feel pressure from both Kenshin and Shishio.

_Well…?_ they chorused.

Hoo boy…

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Short, I know, but I'm just letting off steam…

About why I picked Kenshin, Sojiro and Shishio. I consider them the three most powerful swordsmen in the Kenshi-verse. In fact, if Shishio didn't have a medical condition, I'm very sure he'd win over Kenshin in a straight fight. Of course, since he's a villain, that's not allowed in final battles, but very likely. Kenshin is good, Shishio is evil (or at least as evil as Kyuubi is usually portrayed in Naruto fics where the fox isn't the primary villain, in this instance, anyway) and Sojiro is neutral. If I remember correctly, Sojiro was yet another of the souls inspired by Kenshin to become a good guy. But he was also inspired by Shishio. So he's technically neutral. I toyed with the idea of making Harry Sojiro's reincarnation, or something, but I really couldn't find it in myself to make it work, so Sojiro is just Harry's 'voice of reason', if you will. I like the creepy kid, and lament not finding too many stories about him. Granted, I'm not actively _looking_, but you'd think things like that would pop up.

As for why they're there (after all, last he was seen, Shishio was off to conquer hell), well, it's perfectly believable for their spirits to haunt their swords. As for Shishio, I felt like it, okay!

Please review, C&C welcome. As for pairings, I'm thinking foursome. –_lecherous grin_– I already have a fourth picked out, but try to convince me otherwise. If you're successful, I'll make it a five-some.

What? This wasn't really my idea, so the least I can do is put in all the fan service elements I want. Gracious bath scenes, anyone? SasuSakuIno (I really don't get why a lot of people dislike Sakura. She's cute!)? Voldemort dying in either a very painful or very silly manner? I read a fic once were Orochimaru laughed himself to death (**_Switched!_**, by **Minnionette**). _That_ was fun to read!

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	3. HarrySojiro Vs Haku!

A/N: Yet another shorty…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 3: Fantasy Fight Scene: Harry/Sojiro Vs. Haku!

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything but the plot. Please don't sue me.

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Zabuza eyed the weirdo in the black trench coat for a moment, before deciding to try to ignore that comment he made about Gatou. Just what was the little slime ball doing here, anyway? Didn't he think he could do this? Was that why he brought the goons?

Shaking his head clear of those thoughts, he got back to what he was going to do. Raising one hand, he concentrated his chakra and summoned his mist…

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Harry blinked at the energy in the air, one he'd started associating with local ninjas. He'd heard about them from the man who'd ferried him over, but the guy hadn't said anything about this weird heavy feeling.

_That's because you're feeling it through us, _Sojiro said. _That energy you feel is called chakra. It's sort of a combination of mental strength and physical energy. _

_How do you know that? _Harry said.

_Our swords weren't the only 'haunted' things in that store. Or that town. You wouldn't believe the amount of sheer junk people attach themselves to after death. _

_I can believe it. There's a girl in my school who haunts a toilet._

_Seriously?_ Kenshin exclaimed.

_UGH! That is disgusting!_ Shishio said.

It was then the four of them noticed the mist appearing out of nowhere.

_Hm. So **that's** what he was doing…_ Sojiro mused.

_Summoning mist to blind his opponent, he thus gains a tactical and psychological advantage over him,_ Shishio analyzed.

_Judging by the ease of which he used the method, it's one he uses often. Given how very few of those we've encountered seem to believe in a non-lethal approach to combat, we can assume he's getting ready to kill his opponent, _Kenshin said, throwing his own two bits worth.

Suddenly, there was a large burst of energy, followed by cries and poofing sounds that reminded Harry of Apparition, as well as a flitting sound of something passing quickly through the air.

_Those two kids in the mirrors!_ Harry realized. _Something's hurting them!_

Not waiting for Kenshin or Shishio to say anything, Harry stretched out to Sojiro, silently asking for his power. A sort of coldness enveloped Harry as the long-dead boy went to work, a coldness more emotional than physical in nature, a remnant of Sojiro's long emotionlessness during his teens. Harry felt different in his body, as if it were a suit he'd recently had tailored and still hadn't gotten accustomed to. It always happened like that.

What Dumbledore once called his 'moral fiber' was already prompting Harry into action. His first step was at normal speed, as was his second. Both were made with his heel not touching the ground.

On his third step, he vanished from the astounded eyes of the old man and the pink-haired girl.

On the fourth, he was two steps below _Shukuchi_.

Harry honestly didn't know if Sojiro took control of his body under his direction, or if he drew on Sojiro's knowledge and did it himself. Neither did Sojiro. All four knew the three directed Harry to a degree, and enhanced him in the same way, but Harry never did anything _he_ didn't want to do (much to Shishio's annoyance and Kenshin's relief), and he couldn't use the three's techniques unless _they_ allowed it. He'd have a _very_ general idea how to pull it off, but no more.

Right then, Harry felt the heavy vibrations of his ultra rapid footfalls traveling up through his legs. He knew he was producing a minor sonic boom, but he could barely hear it. He was running blind, guided only by Kenshin and Sojiro, and to a lesser degree Shishio, since the mist was too thick to see through.

He nudged a little to the left as he followed the few sounds and much energy felt towards the dome, where what were apparently clones of the blond were being reduced to puffs of smoke and the other boy was breathing fire. Shishio perked up at that, pyromaniac that he was, and was strangely intent on observing the boy.

Harry briefly saw a masked boy toss a couple of needles before disappearing into a mirror before he grabbed the blond boy in one hand and the black-haired boy in the other, and kicked it up into high gear- true _Shukuchi_- as he pulled them out of what his resident spirits identified as a cunningly designed deathtrap.

Dashing towards the girl and the old man, both of whom started in surprise, Harry dropped off his load. "Be right back," he said, and ran off again.

When he got back, the mirrors were gone. Standing there was a figure shorter than he was, wearing strangely baggy clothes and a mask with a red design. The figure turned at the sound of Harry dropping from faster than the speed of sound to zero.

"Hi, I'm Harry," Harry said, standing casually, left hand on the cluster of swords at his waist. Okay, so maybe it wasn't so casual. "I assume you're working for the shirtless man with the big sword. Is there any way I can talk the two of you out of this, because I _really_ dislike having to fight."

"Then you should not have interfered," the figure said. It's voice was soft; Harry couldn't tell whether the speaker was male or female.

Harry shrugged. "I couldn't in good conscience let two kids be hurt."

"They are ninja," was a reply.

"They're kids." For a moment, there was silence. Harry expected the wind to blow dramatically and whip his coat a little, but no such luck.

The figure raised a hand, and Harry raised an eyebrow at the needle he held between his fingers. "I cannot let you interfere with our mission," he said.

Harry smirked slightly. "A bit late for that," he said, raising his right hand to his swords. "Just one thing before we proceed to the final stupidity."

The figure tilted his head. "What's that?"

"What's your name?"

A pause. "Haku."

Harry nodded. "Thank you. Now, shall we?"

The three riders saw Haku tense.

_Mugejin!_ Shishio yelled.

_Sakabatou it is, then,_ Harry said.

_Wuss._

To anyone watching without a Sharingan, there was a flicker, and the two fighters were gone.

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"See anything?" Naruto said, shading his eyes as he tried to gaze into the fog, as if that would help.

"You can't see anything, what makes you think _we_ can?" Sakura said, peering into the fog as well.

There was the sound of metal on metal, then silence. Suddenly, there was a whole symphony of sounds, each almost a musical note that only hinted at the battle being waged. The sounds rang, each note pure, a promise of life where the softer sound of flesh being struck would mean death.

Sasuke discreetly took a step back so that he was behind his teammates and collapsed, squatting down on his heels and panting quickly but quietly. Sure, he was tired from being used as a scratching post, but there was no way he was going to let his team see him as weak. His new position, however, had the unfortunate caveat of placing his eyes level with his teammates butts. Faced with the choice, Sasuke turned himself fractionally towards Sakura. There was no _way_ he was going to be staring at Naruto's ass.

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Harry felt his feet skid as he stopped, nearly falling over the edge of the partially completed bridge. In front of him, the masked boy- it had come up some time during the battle- was crouched, obviously breathing hard, although not as hard as he was. A month of using the swords on unskilled bandits and the occasional Ninja-Academy dropout hadn't even come close to getting his body into the shape it needed to be. Sure, he was physically fit, but that was from all the Quidditch training and the occasional near-death experience. All three of his sword-spirits knew that he had a distinct physical advantage. Still, he had speed, something that was the basis on which two of their styles had primarily been based on, so he could cope. Mostly.

Settling once more into the standard _batoujutsu_ stance, Harry slipped the _sakabatou_ back into it's sheath, keeping is eyes on his opponent. Kenshin told him that his enemy was probably confused by the disparity between Harry's apparent skill and his physical condition- ergo, his seeming lack of physical training to do the techniques he was doing.

Good.

That was from the Shishio part of the mind. If he underestimates you, he'll be easier to kill.

Trying to ignore the psycho, who'd started fighting with Kenshin again, Harry readied himself for another _Shukuchi_. His legs were burning, but Sojiro helped him ignore it, although he knew he probably would have sore legs in an hour or two- if he lived that long.

His opponent had tried to use the ice mirrors again, but that had quickly fallen out of favor when he realized Harry could not only match his speed, but also surpass it. Since the area of the mirrors constricted his area of movement, he did away with them. He currently sported many cuts on his clothes, and probably bruises in his body.

Harry wasn't fairing much better. He'd managed to block most of the needles sent his way, but a couple were currently stuck into his left shoulder. Multiple cuts adorned him, and blood welled from some of his wounds. He was glad he'd taken the time to learn some of the minor healing spells Hermione knew. Okay, fine, she'd forced him into it and got Ginny to help by having the two of them threaten to stop making out with him if he didn't.

Shaking his head free of those thoughts, which had Shishio laughing as usual and Kenshin blushing like crazy, Harry refocused on the matter at hand. So far, he'd been delaying, having the three analyze the situation for as long as possible, and even though Shishio was his usual bloody self, he was still adept at spotting weaknesses.

Lifting his hand, Harry rested it on _Mugenjin_, praying his plan paid off.

Using only a fraction of his speed, he dashed towards Haku. Pulling out _Mugenjin_, Harry ran the serrated edge on the flint-lined opening of the sheath. A spark flared, and the sword burst into flames. Slashing sideways, he aimed for Haku's eyes. The mist-nin barely managed to step back, bumping into the railing at his end. Distracted by the flame, he didn't see the _sakabatou _in Harry's left hand making contact with his gut. Twisting _Mugenjin_, Harry completed his spin, hitting his opponent on the side of the head with the flat of the blade. The smell of burning hair filled the air as he flew through the air, clipping his head on the railing on his way down.

Quickly dropping _Mugejin_- _HEY!_ Shishio yelled- Harry drew his wand from it's sheath at his waist. "_Stupefy!_"

The red flash flew towards the masked boy, completing the four-way combo.

Harry twirled his wand, sticking it back into it's sheath. "Oh, yeah," he said as he picked up _Mugenjin_ and slashed it quickly through the air, putting it out. "I make this look good."

_Ahem,_ Sojiro said.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Okay, _we_ make this look good."

_AHEM!_ Kenshin and Shishio said.

"Oh, shut up you guys!"

Harry blinked. "Great, I'm talking to myself."

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: It's official, I stink at fight scenes.

As to what Harry is wearing: black trench coat, Aoshi Shigamori style; jeans; shinobi footwear (those things most of them wear; he bought them at the three's urging the first chance he got. I don't think their styles let him fight in sneakers); gray turtleneck; multi-pocketed vest; and leather, fire-proof gloves. The three swords hang from a special belt. At the point where the three swords ride is a hidden compartment where he keeps his wand. That would look cool, wouldn't it?

Thanks to all who reviewed.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	4. Tripping Around, Weirdness Abroad!

A/N: I've developed an insane idea regarding this fic. All I'll say it guarantees a lot of silliness in future chapters…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 4: Tripping Along… Weirdness Abroad!

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.

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"Orochimaru-sama!" a nameless Sound-nin said, running up to their leader, who was currently lounging around on the roof of his palace, wearing only a Speedo and a pair of sunglasses. The nin tried not to stare, since that was a sure-fire way of either dying or being used as a guinea pig for yet another crazy experiment. Next to him was the man who'd been introduced as Orochimaru-sama's cousin, who was thankfully wearing a pair of loud Hawaiian trunks. Both men were drinking from tall glasses of Pińa-Coladas.

"What is it?" the sannin said irritably, already assigning the poor loser to a medical experiment. "I gave orders we were not to be disturbed."

"Apologies, Orochimaru-sama, but another report has come in. It seems the Raikiri Batousai has been spotted again. He was reportedly stopped all competition from Gatou in Wave Country," the loser reported, praying to anyone who was listening for this to put their "Ota-Kage" in a good enough mood.

Orochimaru sat up, tilting his glasses down. "That is good news, but not exactly something that couldn't wait."

The nin coughed. "Kimimaro-sama said-"

"Enough! Report to Tayuya," Orochimaru said, lying back down and taking a sip from his drink.

The nin gulped, but left as ordered, looking for the redheaded kunoichi with mixed emotions. This was one of Orochimaru's more questionable punishments/rewards. On the one hand, the kunoichi was a demon in bed and could last hours. On the other hand, the kunoichi was a demon in bed and could last hours. Hoo-boy…

"What was that about?" Voldemort said lazily as he sunned himself. They were snakes, after all. Snakes did this sort of thing.

"Good news," Orochimaru said, as he pulled out his copy of Cosmopolitan. "Otagakure's competition in the drug trade has been summarily terminated, all thanks to someone with delusions of grandeur."

"The so-called 'Raikiri Battousai'?"

"Yes. Probably some tourist who's been watching too much anime. We get those a lot. They usually either go back home or die when they challenge someone other than a highway bandit. He's probably one of those few with some actual combat training, but no match for my Sound-nin. There's no way he's that Potter boy you're afraid of."

Voldemort shrugged. "I guessed you're right. Besides, from the sound of it, this 'Raikiri' character is very physically fit. The only exercise that Potter boy does is riding a broom. No way it can be him…"

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"Stop following us!" Naruto said, looking over his shoulder and pouting.

Harry blinked innocently, although a closer look would reveal the mischief dancing in his green eyes. "We're not following you, we're just walking along the same road as you, right guys?"

Haku nodded solemnly, although he was grinning like crazy under his mask. Zabuza pretended indifference, although he turned his face to one side so his smile wouldn't be too obvious.

"Why are you going this way, anyway?" Naruto yelled back, not looking where he was going, and promptly walking into a tree.

"I told you, I'm going to Konoha to see the Hokage," Harry said. "Among other things. Watch out."

Naruto turned around and promptly tripped over a rock.

Pouting, Naruto got back up, pointedly dusting himself off. "Well, why are _they_ here?" he pointed at Haku and Zabuza.

"We're just walking here, stupid," Zabuza said.

"Naruto, don't aggravate the missing-nin," Kakashi said.

Sasuke, meanwhile, had his brain locked on that snapshot of Sakura's ass.

…………

What?

They'd been walking for a day, with still a little distance to go to reach Konoha, and in that time, that scene had repeated itself roughly every forty-five minutes. Haku had begun using it to tell the time.

It was almost time- by Haku's reckoning- for another such bout when Harry suddenly raised his hand, shading his eyes, as he looked at something in the distance. "Hey, is that a store?"

Before anyone could answer, he was gone, a sonic boom left in his wake as he _Shukuchi_ed off.

"I guess he doesn't realize that's an antique store," Sakura said as everyone sweatdropped.

What an antique store was doing in the middle of nowhere is a mystery best left unsolved.

When they finally caught up with him, they find Harry standing on the road with an _extremely_ annoyed look on his face, looking at the little shack, from which various happy sounds were emanating.

"Got scammed, huh?" Naruto said cheerily.

"Shut up," Harry mutters in annoyance. "I was hoping for some food, and manga, but all they had was old junk. I was lucky this was the _only_ thing they conned me out of." Looking at the trunk in disgust for a moment before sighing, he drew his wand from its sheath and waving it despondently at the offending object. The trunk shook slightly, before rising slightly and floating in mid-air. The assembled shinobi blinked.

"What?" Harry said with a smirk as he sat down cross-legged on top of it. "Never seen a floating trunk before?"

"No," Sasuke said bluntly.

"WHOA!" Naruto exclaims, getting down on his hands and knees and waving his hands under the trunk, then kneeling and waving his hands everywhere else around the trunk. "Where are the strings?"

"It's a secret technique," Harry said blandly. Kakashi's eyebrow twitched at the mention of that. "Giddy yap!" he told the trunk, tapping it on it's 'rear' with his wand, and it immediately started floating down the road.

The nin shrugged, and followed after.

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Finally…

"Home sweet home!" Naruto yelled, thrusting out his arms as if trying to hug the whole village.

Harry, still sitting on his trunk, Haku and Zabuza sweatdropped at him, wondering when he'd gotten high. His teammates seemed to take it as a matter of course.

The two nins guarding the gates in front of them rolled their eyes at the boy's antics. They waved casually to Kakashi, who nodded back, but stiffened at Harry and the nuke-nin's approach. "Name please?"

"Momochi Zabuza," the mist-nin said lazily, as if daring them to say anything.

"Seta Haku," the boy said simply.

Sojiro was immediately alarmed.

_Why, Sojiro, you sly dog you!_ Shishio roared. _Why didn't you tell me you eventually got some?_

As Sojiro was being royally embarrassed, the two leaf-nin stiffened at the first name, paling.

"Relax," Kakashi said. "He's with me."

The pale-haired man turned to the Cleaver's owner. "Kiri and Konoha aren't that close, so you won't get extradited, but if you make trouble, I'm personally coming for your hide, got it?"

Zabuza flipped him off. You wouldn't know they were kindred spirits, both fanatical readers of Icha Icha.

"What about you?" one of the nin said to Harry.

"Potter Harry," Harry said. "I'm here to see the Hokage with news about an old friend of his."

The nin frowned. "If you have a message for the Hokage, then give it to us, and we'll pass it on to him."

Harry's mouth twisted at the ironic choice of words. "I'm afraid it's personal," Harry said, then added when the nin eyed his swords warily, "I mean him no harm. In fact, I'm here to ask for his help regarding a little matter."

The two guards looked at each other, than at Kakashi, as if asking for his opinion. "Fine. But we'll have to see the contents of your trunk. Customs and all that. What is it?"

Harry blinked, looking down. "Actually, I don't know, myself. It bought it at some roadside store."

"Yuko-san strikes again," one of the guards muttered.

Jumping off the trunk, Harry tried the lock and found it rusted shut. Growling under his breath, he pulled out the _sakabatou_- to much initial panic from the two guards- and destroyed the lock with one slash. Opening it, he frowned. "Nothing in here but junk."

To prove his point, he heaved it up and tipped it over. Some old swords, belts, books, scrolls and robes fell out in a tangled heap.

"COOL!" Naruto said, grabbing a set of oversized red robed and holding them in front of him.

"Hey, this book has my name on it," the resident kunoichi said, picking up what looked like a pink girl's diary, a key hanging on a chain in the corner.

Zabuza gave the pile a casual look. "What a load of junk," he muttered in contempt.

Haku, however, wasn't as closed-minded. Frowning under his mask, he picked up a very narrow scroll that had rolled off to the side. "Harry-san, this looks like a summoning scroll."

"Huh? What's that?" Harry said, who was busy inspecting the trunk's insides, feeling the red felt lining.

"Summoning scrolls are used to make contracts with summons, so they can be called on in battle," Haku explained.

"Does this summoning thing use that chakra stuff?" Harry asked absently, and Haku gave an affirmative. "Well, you can have it, Haku. It's useless to me anyway. Might as well do you good."

Haku turned to Zabuza questioningly.

The Demon of the Mist snorted. "Why not? It'll do you good to have a summon. I've got one already, so I can't use it."

Nodding, Haku thanked Harry as he tucked the scroll into his clothes for later study. The wizard waved him off absently, still inspecting the trunk.

"Hey, if Haku can have that, can I have these cool threads?" Naruto said, gesturing at the red robes. "And this sword?"

"Naruto, that sword looks pretty beat up," Sakura said.

"But it'll look so cool with these things!"

"Fine," Harry said, now poking around the junk with his foot. "Anyone who wants anything, go ahead. I don't think I'll be keeping anything but the trunk."

"Why just the trunk?" one of the guards asked, who was also rooting around.

"I need a suit case," was the only answer.

"Well, in that case, can I have this diary?" Sakura said, holding up the book she had found.

Harry looked at it, pink with gold trim and all. He shuddered. "Sure."

Kakashi picked up an old book, and his eyebrow rose. "May I?"

Harry saw it and hesitated, but noticed another copy of the same book near his feet. "Go ahead," he said, picking up the slightly battered _Kama Sutra_.

Sasuke tossed aside a rusty piece of armor that looked like it had been clawed up by the Kyuubi, judging by the enormous, claw-like cuts in front. Bending down, he picked up a leather belt, on which hung two swords. A strange feeling came over him.

"Just take it!" Harry said, beating him before he opened his mouth. The Uchiha nodded, wondering why he had a sudden desire to save the world and a hatred for dogs.

A cold breeze blew past, and Zabuza shuddered. Looking down, he noticed a white jacket fluttering under his feet. Deciding that there was no point in doing the 'cool, shirtless' look if he got pneumonia, he put it on.

In the end, all Harry decided to keep was a box of large marbles, a deck of cards with the faces of weird creatures on them, an off-white doll with a red nose and bobble on it's head, a metal whip, a humongous shuriken that Sasuke looked at covetously but Harry decided he wanted because it looked 'cool', a pair of metal enforced gloves, a metal quarter staff that also looked cool, a few books and a couple of other knick-knacks that also seemed cool for some reason. How those things managed to fit in a trunk is another mystery best left unsolved.

The rest, he vanished away. Well, actually, he used the banishing spell, but as long as they weren't close enough to the village proper to be seen, it was alright. As a leaf-themed village, they were very environmentally friendly, and had strict garbage laws. After declaring his swords were his swords were his only weapons, Harry was allowed in to Konoha. The things he had banished kept on flying. But things that fly have to come down to earth eventually…

No one knew what had been unleashed upon the world.

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Ginny waited impatiently for Hermione to finish talking with the Muggle. Her girlfriend had suggested they take an airplane to where Harry had gone so that they be able to pick up clues on the way, and she really had nothing else to say or do but fret over the delay. It wasn't after Hermione had told her some of the stories the other girl had heard of what happened in airplane lavatories that she had warmed up to the idea. Still, she really wished the Muggle would get a move on. Their boyfriend's life was at stake!

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When Naruto got home and tried on his new 'threads', he was pleasantly surprised to find they fit, as if by magic. He was sure they'd been too big for him. Oh, well. He decided then and there he'd wear them from now on, ate his usual dozen bowls of ramen, and fell asleep fantasizing how cool he'd look and how impressed Sakura would be when he saw him tomorrow, the sword still in his hands…

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Harry checked into the hotel, looking around so his the three riders could take note of all the entrances, exits, weak-spots and defensible points of the room. The Hokage was supposed to be busy today, so he had an appointment for tomorrow. As much as he minded the delay, he could wait. Voldemort would just have to live a little longer…

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In the bathroom of his hotel room, Haku blushed as he read the summoning scroll's instructions on final time, before turning on the shower and lathering his hand.

What kind of perverted summon required the contract be signed in blood and **_semen_**?

And why was there only room for one signature?

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Sakura opened her new diary and frowned. There were no pages inside.

"What the heck?" she said as she turned the book upside-down…

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Zabuza frowned at the Cleaver in his hands. Why the heck was he starting to think it was too small?

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Sasuke kept having mood swings and feeling insane. He kept trying to shrug it off as he modeled his new belt. The swords on it didn't look half-bad…

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At home, Kakashi opened his newest book and started reading…

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Hinata was walking along a street quietly around sundown when she saw something glinting out of the corner of her eye. She blinked curiously. Why would someone throw away what looked like a solid gold medallion, even if it _was_ unusually shaped?

Shrugging, seeing as no one seemed to want it any more, she picked it up and stuffed it into her waist pouch, and continued heading towards the game store in the corner. Perhaps they received a new batch of cards…?

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Somewhere, on a road far away, a girl rolled over in her sleeping bag. Something kept poking her back. With an annoyed growl, she finally reached beneath her and pulled it out. She blinked as she stared the elegant fan in her hand, whose air was marred slightly by the chain that dangled from it, on the ends of which where a bunch of feathers.

Shrugging and deciding it was finders-keepers, she tucked it under her head and finally went to sleep…

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In a very strange place, and conversation consisting of two words happened.

_Shippo..?_

_Inu-Yasha…?_

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Haku glanced back towards the door, hoping Zabuza wouldn't suddenly decide he needed the use of the refreshment facilities, before looking back to the scroll in his lap. He was wrapped only in a towel and sitting on the closed top of the toilet with said scroll on his lap, having _finally_ managed to sign the danged thing. The hard part had been mixing the blood in.

Wondering what kind of creature this scroll had aligned him with, he bit his thumb, was for a moment grateful that semen wasn't also needed for the summoning itself, and promptly made the seals Zabuza had told him that afternoon, keeping the chakra small so that what he summoned wouldn't be too big.

There was a puff of smoke, and suddenly, Haku's lap was full of something warm.

"Hello, master," a voice said, and teenage boy was suddenly on the verge of blood loss…

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: I set up a Raikiri forum as an experiment. Go to my profile page and click on 'my forums' to see it.

Alterations to canon: Zabuza did not get the Raikiri/Nin-dog treatment, Gatou let slip he was planning to stiff Zabuza and Haku of their pay, Zabuza kills Gatou, then since he doesn't have a client anymore, doesn't care less about Tazuna, be finishes his bridge. Harry somehow makes friends with Haku using a combination of Haku's natural likability, and Harry's Kenshin-ness. I'm just too lazy to right all that when I can just get to the good stuff.

Oh, yes, I'll say this right off the bat, just to see what kind of response I get: Voldemort _will_ get a sword! Aren't you just fascinated to know which one?

I'm making Kakashi nearly as _jutsu_-hoarding obsessed as Orochimaru, or at least into a kind of _jutsu_ hunter. After all, why else would he know a thousand plus _jutsus_ unless he actively soughed them out? But, no, he's not evil.

What? Haku has no known last name, so why not make him a descendant of Sojiro? It's how his blood-limit was forged, from Sojiro's 'iciness' in battle. Soji doesn't have it, though…

Zabuza summons alligators. It seemed appropriate.

Do you believe in ghosts…?

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Omake 

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Somewhere, a nameless, god-like cosmic being who had taken the form of a fanfiction writer growled in annoyance. "Alright, who took the last of Essence of Ranma, Chaos of Tenchi, and Touch of Irreverence?"

Hundreds of other cosmic god-like beings all proceeded to look innocent at the same time, hunching over their computer/laptops/palm pilots/notebooks, making looking for the culprit all but impossible.

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Orochimaru winced as he waited for his cousin to finish brewing the potion. "That is the absolute last time I'm sunbathing without a timer. This is all your fault!"

Voldemort glared at him. A bright red burn adorned both their bodies. "You're the one who wanted Irish Pińa-Coladas, you dolt."

Somehow, one doesn't look as evil when they're burned and peeling…

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Please review, C&C welcome. This was originally supposed to be a Harry/Kenshin fic, but my muse got a little out of hand. That's what happens when you don't have an outline…

Oh well, it still counts.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	5. The Possessed

A/N: I got one moderately negative review that raised a very good point. Thank you for reminding me to put plot elements every so often, or at least things that make it look like there _is_ a plot…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 5: The Possessed

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue…

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One fine day in Konoha, people started acting weird. No, they didn't all put on green spandex, get bowl haircuts and started making really corny speeches that would have done Sailor Moon proud, but close enough.

It first started in a certain clan compound…

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Hinata was sort of a fixture in the Hyuuga household, kind of like the doormat at the front door, but more dependable. She'd stand quietly in the corner, twiddle her thumbs if spoken to, try not to look anyone directly in the eye or directly period, and generally acted cute as a button.

Thus, it was quite a surprise when she walked out of her room wearing Goth, told her little sister to get the heck out of her way, and didn't so much as acknowledge anyone's presence as she breezed through the house and out the door, ignoring people as if they weren't there.

A couple of the maids wondered if it was a sign of the Apocalypse. Others wondered where Hinata-hime had gotten the gold medallion hanging from an industrial chain around her neck…

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"HHHHHOOOOOOOEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Sakura-chan, wait up!" Keroberos said as he and Yue trailed behind their mistress.

"Can't, I don't want to be late!" Sakura said over her shoulder as she ran, the Sakura Book tucked precariously into her pouch. "The earlier I get there, the more time I can spend with Sasuke–kun!"

Most of Konoha watched as a pink-haired girl ran past followed by what looked like a flying stuffed toy and a long-haired guy in robes with wings, then shrugged it off as some kind of funky new summon.

"A life time and a reincarnation later, and I still don't get that girl," Kero muttered.

"She's the master," Yue said tonelessly. "Pink hair looks good on her."

"At least she woke us up before the others or it would have gotten messy," Kero said.

The two shuddered as they thought of what would happen if their reincarnated mistress had needed to Capture the Cards all over again…

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Zabuza looked at Haku, who looked like he wanted to turn himself over to the Mist Hunter-nin rather than be there, then at the girl who was currently wrapped around the boy. Said girl had bright pink hair, indecently tight clothing, and bat wings sticking out of her hair and on her back.

"So, your name is Lilith…?"

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Harry closed the door to his hotel room, wondering if he should knock on Zabuza and Haku's door, but deciding against it. He didn't want to risk getting on Zabuza's bad side so early in the morning, and besides, he had a meeting to go to. He'd been aiming to talk to this Hokage for weeks, and he wasn't about to be late and make a bad impression.

_Be respectful,_ Kenshin advised.

_Show him how powerful you are!_ Shishio said.

_Brush your teeth,_ said Sojiro.

The two looked at him.

_What? It's not going to look good if Harry has some breakfast stuck between his teeth._

Harry snickered at this rather logical piece of advice, which he'd already done while the three had still been unconscious. Looking both ways, he took a step, spun on the spot, and Apparated.

Appearing outside the hotel, he began a leisurely walk towards the 'Kage Tower, marveling at the serenity of the place around him. As he walked, he passed some kids practicing… how to throw knives?

Harry took a moment to stare. Oooooooookkkkkaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy…………

_What do you expect from a ninja village? Hopscotch?_ Sojiro said.

_I guess…_ Harry said.

He stopped, looking both ways of the intersection he found himself at. "Which way is it to the Tower again?" he mused out loud, scratching his head.

_It's in the general direction of the four giant faces,_ Sojiro said helpfully.

"Oh, right…" Harry said, turning in that direction. Heading that way, he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat, resolving to enjoy a leisurely walk that way-

- and promptly pulled his hand out again as it came into contact with something he hadn't been expecting. He looked at it. It was one of the sets of playing cards he'd found in the trunk and decided to keep, mainly because it looked sort of cool. Upon closer inspection, however, he wondered why the heck he'd even bothered. Shrugging, he tossed the useless cards into a trashcan, narrowly missing the lip. He didn't notice, the matter already out of his mind and forgotten as he headed towards his morning meeting.

(As he rounded the corner, a certain white-eyed kunoichi, who a few seconds ago had been very surprised and embarrassed to find herself wearing something that she was fairly sure she hadn't owned until that morning, rounded the opposite corner, torn between the desire to go home and hide under her bed and to show off her new look to her crush- if she ever got the nerve, that is. Her body compromised by drawing on habit and hurrying to her early morning meeting with her team. The cards caught her eye, however, and she paused to look, said eyes widening when she saw what they were. Hastily, she picked them up, astonished someone would throw away cards of this level, even if they seemed unusual. She'd never heard of the Obelisk, Slifer or Ra cards before, though…)

Harry arrived for his meeting three hours early, something he'd picked up from Dumbledore after that little near-fiasco of a hearing on the summer before his fifth year. The secretary-ninja who told him so seemed to expect him to go off and come back later, eyeing his swords suspiciously, but Harry made no move to leave, merely leaning on a nearby wall and closing his eyes, trusting that at least Kenshin and Sojiro, if not Shishio, would give him some kind of advance warning if he was approached or attacked…

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_Would you stop trying to take over, already!_ Sasuke yelled in his mind. _It's not going to work, okay? Tenseiga won't let you!_

There was a sort of affirmative feeling from the aforementioned sword, followed by lots of sugar-rottingly sweet thoughts about world peace that would make any beauty pageant contestant proud.

_Hmph,_ Sesshomaru said contemptuously as he stopped trying to posses Sasuke for the moment. It meant he'd have a _human_ body, something he felt was a tad bit lower than dirt- dirt can make for a deadly body- but better than nothing. _The only reason I don't posses you completely is because my strength is needed to keep Tokijin in place, else it would destroy both our minds._

_Sure,_ Sasuke drawled sarcastically. _And having your soul divided in half has nothing to do with it, huh?_

Sesshomaru did not honor that with a response. How was he supposed to know his soul would be divided in half to rest between Tenseiga and the reconstructed Tokijin? He really couldn't remember dying too well, although he had vague recollections telling him it was in a highly embarrassing manner. He was thankful he couldn't recall anything, although he _did_ wonder what had happened to Rin. He also strangely had weird recollections about being married…

Until last night, 'Fluffy's' soul halves had lain dormant within the swords, effectively asleep and useless without the other half. Seshomaru's souls thankfully hadn't managed to become their own persons during that time of separation, something that happened sometimes. When Sasuke had put the swords on last night, however, his souls had reunited, and Sesshy was back!

There was a catch, however. Because he'd been dormant for so long, his soul fractured on top of it, he was considerably weaker than before, although still powerful enough to control Tokijin, but not much else. It was that weakness that kept Sasuke safe for the moment, that and Tenseiga's 'scolding' of it's master. Sasuke, Sesshomaru and Tokijin all secretly believed Tenseiga was really a girl.

So Sesshy was now inhabiting/haunting his twin swords. Sasuke had discovered that the youkai became dormant should the swords become physically separated too far apart. He used the threat of that to try to keep the demon lord in check, _try_ being the operating term.

Sometime during the night, they'd reached _some_ kind of agreement, although when they both woke up that morning, neither could remember the exact wording, probably owing to the fact Sasuke had drunk five bottles of vodka trying to shut up the voice in his head. All they knew was that they had an understanding. Unfortunately, Sesshomaru was fairly sure that agreement didn't say anything about not trying to posses the boy for who-knows-what.

Growling under his breath about Sesshomaru, who was saying fairly uncomplimentary things about him as well, Sasuke leaned back against his tree, wondering where the heck his team was…

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Harry looked up as Zabuza walked into the waiting room, looking amused for some reason and snickering Haku's name every so often, still an hour away from his meeting with the Hokage. "Hey, what are _you _doing here?"

Zabuza gave him a sardonic look that was the closest he got to being friendly. Harry had gotten used to it. "You're not the only one with business with the old man, 'samurai'," he said condescendingly, which was his usual tone. Harry had gotten used to _that_ too.

Harry raised an eyebrow, his left hand dropping down to his swords unconsciously. "You're not going to try and kill him, are you?" he said, aware that the secretary-nin was eyeing the two of them and had probably already pressed the panic button. "Because if you are, could you wait until I talk to him first?"

Zabuza rolled his eyes, shooting a look at the secretary, who was looking decidedly pale at the prospect of having to fight the demon of the mist. "Relax, will you? I just want to talk to him about getting Haku into the chuunin exam in a few days."

Harry tried to recall what the other man had told him about ninja ranks. At the very least, this conversation was helping pass the time. "Chuunin? That's the rank after genin, right? Why would Haku need to be in the chuunin exam? You said he was a Hunter-nin."

The older man shrugged. "Well, we sort of never got around to getting him into a chuunin exam, what with planning the coup and all. Besides, ranking is different in Hunter-nin circles. You can be a genin and still get in."

"Ah," Harry said in understanding. It was logical, in a twisted sort of way, similar to the same reasoning that let Malfoy jr. become a Death Eater.

Zabuza was about to say something more, when he frowned underneath his bandages and tilted his head slightly, shaking it from side to side in a subtle manner. He seemed to be talking to himself.

Harry was about to ask him what the matter was when he noticed Zabuza was wearing the same white jacket he'd picked up yesterday. The swords-wizard frowned. It seemed strangely familiar, for some reason…

_You know, a friend of mine used to wear one exactly like it once…_ Kenshin mused.

There was a pause.

_Kenshin?_ A voice suddenly said.

_SANO?_ the once-redhead exclaimed.

_Oh, great, the chicken-head survived to haunt something_, Shishio grumbled.

**_Is that the Shishio bastard?_** the voice called Sano said. **_What's he doing here?_**

Harry and Zabuza, meanwhile, had locked stares.

"Please tell me you hear them too," Zabuza said in a voice that oddly resembled a whimper.

"I have three of them," was all Harry said.

The other man seemed to relax. "Oh, good, I'm not crazy," he said, sounding relieved.

_That's a matter of opinion!_ Sano said.

_Sano, be nice_, Kenshin said.

Shishio snorted in disgust._ Just what I need, more idiots to drive me nuts._

For the first time, Harry agreed with him. The 'idiots' part. The guy was already nuts, although if Harry, and now it seemed Zabuza as well, didn't watch it, they would be too.

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Two random Sound-nins were walking down a hallway.

"Hey, have you seen Orochimaru-sama lately?" one, lets call him Biggs, said.

"I hear he hasn't been seen since yesterday," the other, let's call him Wedge, said.

"Oh? What happened?" Biggs asked.

"Well, supposedly he and that cousin of his were drinking an sunbathing again, and the two got drunk and sunburned."

"Ouch. That's got to hurt."

"That's not the worst part."

"There's a worst part?"

"Yeah. When his cousin tried to brew some fancy-schmancy potion to get rid of their sunburns, you know what happened? They started arguing around it, put in the wrong stuff, and wouldn't you know it, it exploded and turned them bright pink with green and blue polka-dots."

"Ouch."

"Tell me about it. I hear Kimimaro's going around killing people who know."

There was a silence.

"THEN WHY DID YOU TELL ME?" Biggs cried.

Both were suddenly interrupted as swords made of bone penetrated their chest cavities. The two crumpled to the ground, dead as doorknobs.

Kimimaro calmly flicked the blood from his weapons. No one must know about the embarrassing position Orochimaru-sama was in!

Turning around, he went looking for who else knew…

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The time for Harry's meeting with the Hokage finally arrived. The ninja who admitted him in looked pointedly at his sword, but Harry didn't take them off, which could be the reason there were so many jounin just lounging around the meeting room, looking bored as heck but, from what Sojiro and Kenshin told him, were watching his every move and ready to kill him if he did anything they didn't like. Harry got ready to Apparate in an instant should it become necessary.

All this was under the surface, however. To many layman observer, Harry was allowed in with all due respect and seated before the Hokage. At Kenshin's urging, Harry unclipped the three swords and lay them next to him, close enough that he could still hear their residents but far enough that it was obvious he had no intention of using thm on the Hokage. As an afterthought, he put his wand down as well. That seemed to impress the Hokage, and Harry congratulated himself in guessing correctly that the Hokage knew about magic. He was friends with Dumbledore, after all, or had been, anyway.

"You carry news about my old friend Dumbledore?" the Hokage said, steepling his fingers before him and looking at Harry with a gaze that suggested he had his undivided attention. So like Dumbledore!

"Sad news, I'm afraid," Harry said, his heart clenching as he thought of it. Two years had done little to ease the old man's passing. He doubted it would ever go away. Crazy and sometimes putting Harry in danger because of a lack if information, the self-proclaimed 'barmy old coot' was the closest thing to a grandfather Harry had ever had. And a cool grandfather, too, at that! "I'm sorry this news is late in coming, but we've only just found recently the documents speaking of these countries existence. As you know, relations between this place and the Ministry are kept very secret, for fear of culture shock, as well as other less polite reasons."

The Hokage raised an eyebrow. "Those document you allude to were kept in strictest confidence. I find it surprising that you would have access to them. Though someone your age would be considered an adult for a long time already in our society, where you come from, you are barely past legal age. I hope you can explain this discrepancy."

"It's all part of the news," Harry said. He'd thought this over for the past month now, and knew exactly how he was going to say this. "I believe you are aware of the person calling himself Voldemort?"

The Hokage nodded. "Albus has told me of him."

Harry took a deep breath. "Two years ago, certain tragic circumstances unfortunately led to my acquisition of certain documents and notes Dumbledore had in his possession, all in some way or another relating to Voldemort. I received them because he had willed them to me in the event circumstances led to his being unable to continue fighting him."

The Hokage's eye narrowed. "Are you saying," he said slowly, "that Albus Dumbledore is dead?"

Harry nodded, not meeting the other's eyes, in that way that meant he did not want to intrude on grief, but unable to do so since they were in the same room. He waited for the other man to speak first.

The Hokage took a deep breath, the only other reaction out of him other than the silence. "Did he die well?"

"He died protecting me," was all Harry said. "I took care of the killer personally."

True. He'd always wanted to drown Snape in his own cauldron, and he finally managed to. Really stupid of the man to be drinking while having a mixture simmering.

The Hokage nodded. "Is that all you are here for?" he asked, his tone telling him he extremely doubted it.

"Unfortunately, no," Harry said. "Allow me to explain: a few months ago, we finally managed to more-or-less crush Voldemort's forces. I fought him myself, and thought I had killed him finally during our fight, since I had- or thought I had- managed to destroy all his horcruxes, the devices he made to try and make himself immortal. Certain information has led me to believe otherwise, however. Not wanting to spread a panic so soon, I resolved to track him down myself and finish the job. Only a handful of other people know, and they are getting ready in case I'm not successful and he comes back again.

"My research has led me to conclude he came here. This and other bits of information I've gathered has informed me he has a contact and relation here, who would not only help him in swiftly reestablishing himself, but also make him more powerful than before. Apparently, the only reason he did not ask for help from this quarter before was pride: this relation of his is not a wizard. I ask Konoha's help in dealing with Voldemort and his relation."

A frown. "I understand why you would come here for help, since I knew Albus, but why Konoha specifically?"

Harry dropped the bomb. "Because my enemy's friend is your enemy. The man he's related to is his cousin, Orochimaru."

From the look in the Hokage's eyes, Harry knew they'd have a deal…

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Zabuza looked up as Harry strode out of the Hokage's office, a grim smile on the younger's face. "How'd it go?"

"I have more allies…" was all he said.

Zabuza nodded. He understood perfectly. "Wait for me," he said as he went in to talk about getting Haku into the exam.

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When Naruto woke up that morning to find the spirit of the hanyou haunting his new sword waiting for him, it took them all of five seconds to get on each other's bad side.

About an hour later, they were the best of friends and were cheerily bashing Sasuke, who Naruto had told Inu-Yasha about, and Sesshomaru, who Inu-Yasha had told Naruto about. Both agreed the two were stuck up pretty boys who were a lot weaker than they were, but because of women's bad taste, got all the girls anyway.

Sigh…

Inu-Yasha _conveniently_ forgot to tell Naruto about Shippo, however…

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"This it?" Zabuza said, staring at the blacksmith's shop before them.

Harry checked the sign. Yup, this was the place alright. "The Hokage said this was the best 'smith in the country. He should be able to get that cleaver of your properly maintenanced, and maybe do the job I want without messing up."

_He'd better,_ Sojiro said nervously. Harry patted the middle blade at his waist absently.

_Tell me again why you're hanging around that kid, Kenshin?_ Sano said.

_Be nice, Sano,_ Kenshin repeated again.

Zabuza growled. "Look, if you keep saying that, then I'm burning this jacket, you hear me!"

Silence.

_You got him to shut up? I'm astonished._

Shishio, of course.

Ignoring the byplay, Harry knocked on the door. There was a loud-ish yelp from upstairs, followed by the sounds of mad scrambling and a slightly flustered "I'll be down in a minute!".

Kenshin blushed. _At this hour?_ he said, scandalized.

"Lucky dog," Zabuza and Sano chorused.

There was the sound of someone running down a flight of stairs. After a moment, the door was pulled open, and a shirtless young man answered the door. "Yes?" he said breathlessly, trying to sound casual.

"Meis Triumph?" Harry said, ignoring the lewd comments Shishio was throwing around. "The Hokage told me you were the best 'smith in the whole country. I need you do a job for me."

The 'smith frowned. "What sort of job?"

"I need you to repair a sword," Harry clarified.

Meis looked thoughtful. "Come on in and follow me," he said.

He led them through the storefront, which was decorated liberally with weapons of all types, ranging from oversized version of normally small tools like scissors and mallets, to more normal types like swords and axes, to the esoteric, like giant scythes and huge, discuss-like shuriken.

Entering the room at the back led into the smithy proper. More weapons decorated the room, some half-finished or barely begun, others looking like they'd been dropped off there and forgotten.

"Put it here, let me see what I have to work with," Meis said, tapping the huge anvil in the center of the room.

Harry unhooked the middle sword at his waist, the one that Sojiro 'haunted'. Carefully, he drew out the blade, which ended jaggedly about two-thirds of the way. He carefully placed the blade on the anvil. Tipping the sheath, he slid a few other pieces of metal, obviously fragments of the blade, next to it. _Kikuichimonji Norimune._

"Think you can fix it?" Harry asked.

Meis bent down, looking closely at the blade. "Hmm…"

"Meis? What's taking you so- Oh! Sorry, I didn't know they were customers."

Harry and Zabuza turned at the sound. A girl with long brown hair was standing by the door. Her clothes were slightly rumpled, hinting at _soooooo_ many things.

Meis sighed. "Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to my wife, Sodina. Sodina-chan, could you help me here for a minute, I need your opinion on this sword."

Still blushing, the girl- obviously still a girl, despite being married- moved to stand next to her husband. The girl frowned down at the blade, then exclaimed, "Oh my!"

"What?" Harry said, concerned for the only thing that was keeping Sojiro on this plane of existence.

_Harry, ask them what's wrong!_ Sojiro said, obviously as concerned.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked.

The two looked at him. "You heard that?" Sodina said, surprised.

It was Harry's turn to blink. "_You_ heard what he said?" he exclaimed.

Sodina nodded. "Oh, yes! It's something I've been able to do since I was very little. I'm gifted that way."

Harry and Zabuza exchanged looks.

"So, can you fix it?" Harry said.

Sodina and Meis exchanged looks. "It'll be difficult, but doable," Meis said. "Come back in about three days, and he'll be ready."

Harry noted the term used.

Zabuza reached behind him and pulled out the Cleaver. "I need this serviced, too," he said, laying it down next to the _Kikuichimonji Norimune_.

"Three days," was all Meis said. Zabuza nodded.

After getting a reciept, the two were about to leave when something next to the door out of the smithy caught Zabuza's eye. "Is that for sale?" he said, pointing to a big sword about the same size as the Cleaver, with a thicker blade and different shape.

Sodina and Meis exchanged looks behind their backs. "Yeah, it is," Meis said. "Although I gotta warn you, it's kind of different."

"I'll take it," Zabuza said, reaching into his pocket for his wallet, then realizing he didn't have either. He sent a look Harry's way.

Harry sighed and loaned him the money, making a mental note to ask Haku to pay him back. The hunter-nin was the one who carried all the money between the two mist pair.

After paying, which was cheaper than Harry thought it would be, and also placing an order for a modifed version of the harness Zabuza usually carried his Cleaver in so that he would have somewhere to carry his new weapon in, the two went off, the older man the proud new owner of the antique Buster Sword…

Meis sighed, and looked at his brown-haired wife- one of them, anyway. "I guess Wyna, Nelsha and Kyleen will just have to go on without us," he lamented, thinking of the _huge_ bed upstairs.

Sodina sighed as well. "We better get to work," she said. "The sooner we start, the sooner we can take a break…"

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"Master Haku, you can't keep me here forever!" Lilith pouted cutely, incongruously stroking Haku's thigh as she did so. "My sisters are expecting me back so they'll know what kind of master we have!"

Haku jerked away at her touch, eliciting a giggle. "I really don't see why I need _to have sex with you _to let you go back!"

Lilith smiled coyly. "Well, you don't really need to, but we consider it a waste if we don't get laid at least once when we're summoned. And I am not leaving until you demonstrate your ability to be our master!"

Haku had heard that not all summons were the same. Zabuza-san said that his alligators sometimes demanded haunches of beef or some equally large meat in return for their services, and it was well-known that other summons sometimes only served those they liked or had proven themselves, but somehow, he didn't think he wanted to do what it would take to prove himself to his new summons. Still, he tried the tried and not-often-true-but-traditional track. "I was able to summon you, wasn't I? Doesn't that prove anything?"

Lilith smiled lustily. Haku was beginning to wonder how many smiles the seeming girl had. "Well, it proves you're old enough to use all the… tools nature gave you at your disposal." She gave a twist to the word and made it _quite_ clear what 'tool' she meant. "But that's not enough. If you will command succubi, then you must be able to treat us properly, so we'll have the power we need."

Haku felt something was off there. "Doesn't being a summon give you all the power you need?"

Lilith began to wonder how sheltered this kid was. Not that that was a bad thing. "Well, yes, but being treated well gives us _much_ more power, and isn't power why you took us as your summon?" she said sweetly, batting her eyelashes in a cute manner, her left wing curling behind him to stroke his rear. He jerked from _that_ too, and ended up being _much_ closer to her. Oh, this master was _too_ easy!

Haku looked at her suspiciously. "That's it? I have to treat you well to prove myself?"

A predatory grin. "If you'd just screwed my brains out like I asked you to-" she ignored his blush, "- you'd have proven yourself already, but since you're being so stubborn, I'm finding it hard to think you'll make a good master. I'll give you another chance, however. Something simple, since you're being such a prude- we'll corrupt you later- but you have to do it really well if you want to prove yourself."

Haku frowned doubtfully. "What do I have to do?" he said warily. Corrupt him? What did that mean?

Lilith reached over gently and pried off his mask. "Kiss me," she said, smiling in a self-satisfied fashion.

Haku blinked. "That's it?" he said. Sounded simple enough.

"No, not just it," Lilith said, wagging her finger. "You have to make me like it. You have to make me moan in pleasure- which is pretty hard to get a normal girl to do with just a kiss, much less someone like me." Again she ignored his blushing. "But I'll make it easy for you. You can use your hands to make it easier."

Hands? What good would his hands do?

Not waiting for a reply, Lilith pounced on him, sitting on his lap and wrapping her legs and wings around him, smilingly strangely as she deliberately rubbed against a certain 'growth'. Haku shuddered.

"Well?" Lilith said. "Put your arms around me!"

Haku blinked. "Do I have to?"

Lilith couldn't believe this kid! Oh, she and her sisters would have fun teaching him all they knew! "Well, if you want to increase your chances of passing this little test…" she said, trailing off suggestively.

Hesitantly, Haku put her arms around her, and she repressed the urge to roll her eyes. It was like he was putting them around a tree! "Has to be tighter. Look, I'm already giving you too many tips for what has to be the simplest, most basic test I can give! You want to get our power or not?"

Haku's face firmed slightly. "I do," he said. In his mind, if he had more power, he'd be better equipped to help Zabuza attain his dream.

"Then tighter!" Lilith said.

Haku's grip tightened, and Lilith smiled approvingly. Finally! "Good. Now, kiss me."

Hesitantly, Haku leaned forward. Despite herself, Lilith closed her eyes in anticipation…

…and snapped them open again as she felt her lips peck lightly at her cheek. With a growl, she grabbed his head and pulled it towards her, kissing him deeply. He was going to pass this test and become their master if it was the last thing she did!

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The whole trip to Konoha, Temari wondered if she was growing crazy. First, there were those weird personality quirks that she knew weren't her own. Than, that voice in her head that started yelling at her to do what it said, and to pay attention to it, and was she even listening, _hello! Get your head out of the clouds…!_

For the nth time, she wondered if she should just throw away the fan she'd found, but then the voice would start reeking of horror, begging her not to do it, not to send her back to oblivion. And no matter what anyone could say about Temari of the Sand, it was a true, if secret, fact that she was a softy.

Eventually, she and the voice- Kagura by name- started getting along. They started talking tentatively, then conversing, then chatting, and before anyone knew it, it was like they'd been friends forever.

Temari didn't notice the looks Baki and her brothers- yes, even Gaara, who was an self-proclaimed, self-taught expert on mental disorders (after all, he had a few himself, and was well on his way to picking up a few more)- were giving her. They said nothing, however. If a ninja could follow orders and accomplish the mission, it didn't matter if they were, or are going, insane, Gaara being living proof of that. What did it matter if Temari had started talking about girly things out loud and giggling to herself…?

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Everyone is turning into the 'Sixth Sense' kid! Oh, there, it has plot, but not enough to ruin my fun X3

Meis Triumph and Sodina are from the PS1 RPG '**_Thousand Arms_**'. Meis' personality is different from the game, but hey.

Yami Hinata. A scary thought…

I've always seen characters like Haku- and by extension, Sojiro- as prudes. Poor Haku. And I have **_sssssssoooooooooooooooo_** many succubi ready for him, too. How many? One word: **_Negima_**. The Succubus Summoning scroll was originally meant for a Sasuke-centric fic, but I got impatient and put it here. Haku is a more interesting person to get it.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	6. In The Afternoon

A/N: Someone asked why I threw away the God Cards. Simple. Harry _really_ couldn't use them, and I thought the Pharaoh would be the best person to have them at hand. OMG, Hinata's the Pharaoh! Poor Naruto…

As to the 'items', no one is getting overloaded. The only ones in danger of overloading are Harry's girlfriends and maybe Haku.

This is another plot-lite chapter. Meaning it has _some_ plot, but mainly it's for fun. Get used to it people!

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 6: In the Afternoon

Disclaimer: I don't own, please don't sue. Anyone want to do fan art of Pharaoh Hinata? Not that I'd know how to make a link on my profiles page…

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Kakashi is notorious for being late. For everything! It is widely known the man would be late for his own funeral. Thus, it was absolutely no surprise that he waltzed in when his students were already there. He had a lie ready, of course, but he didn't have a chance to use it.

Kakashi blinked at the scene before him. He walked over to Sakura.

"Um, Sakura-chan, what's going on?" he asked.

Sakura looked at him. "Well, it turns out that sword Naruto picked up yesterday is haunted by the spirit of a powerful hanyou. Coincidentally, those swords Sasuke picked up are haunted by the hanyou's brother. The brothers don't get along. Sasuke and Naruto are rivals. You do the math."

"Ah!" Kakashi said. That explained all the damage.

"**_Sankontessō!_**" Naruto cried, slashing at Sasuke with his fingers, curved into claws. The dark-haired boy dodged, smirking.

"Sesshomaru says you both suck," Sasuke said. Extending his index finger, a thin, whip-like strand of energy appeared. A flick of his wrist sent it slashing towards Naruto, who barely managed dodge, the red robe he wore deflecting the attack by an inch.

Naruto growled. "Hey, he's the loser who only managed to marry one girl! Inu-Yasha ended up with both Kagome _and_ Kikyo!"

"He says Rin was a hundred times more beautiful than those two weaklings," Sasuke said, pressing the attack.

Naruto blinked as he parried the attack off the sheath of his sword. "Wait… RIN? That little girl? THAT PERVERT MARRIED A LITTLE GIRL?"

"Rin wasn't little by then," Sasuke said. "We think we'll take your head off."

As Sasuke charged Naruto again, Kakashi shrugged, settling down to sit next to Sakura, who, strangely, was just watching. He glanced over at her. "Who are your friends, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura grinned. "Kakashi-sensei, this is Yue-kun and Kero-chan. They're friends from my past life."

"YO!" the little plushy introduced as Kero-chan said. Yue merely nodded gravely, before continuing to watch the two combatants.

Kakashi blinked, then shrugged. "Nice to meet you."

Sakura sighed, leaning on her elbow. She hoped Naruto and Sasuke didn't hurt each other _too_ badly (getting hurt was a given). Naruto was a friend, she was beginning to realize, but if anything happened to her little wolf… She kept her eyes on Sasuke. _Now_ she realized why she liked him so much, why he was so distant and moody. She smiled at the thought of history repeating itself, but had to wonder if, and as who, Tomoyo-chan, and maybe Meilin, had been reincarnated…

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Somewhere, Ino sneezed. Twice.

Why was she thinking of video-taping everything Sakura did? And getting her to strip naked to put on kinky clothes? The usual erotic thoughts she had about Sasuke were understandable, but the rest…

Dang, she was getting horny…

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"So, your name's Zack?" Zabuza said.

_Yeah. Man, how long have I been asleep?_ the newly awakened voice of the Buster Sword said.

_Hi, I'm Sano. Nice to meet you, _Sano said.

_Like-wise. It's nice to have company._

_I'm Kenshin,_ Kenshin introduced himself. _You used to be a soldier?_

_I was a member of an organization called SOLDIER,_ Zack corrected. _Stupid Shin-ra backstabbed me, though. _

_That's tough. I know the feeling,_ Shishio said, surprising the others.

"The world is ending. Shishio is actually being nice?" Harry said.

Kenshin made as if to make a sign to ward off evil, then remembered he didn't have any limbs for that. Dang!

"So, we training or not?" Harry said. He'd asked Zabuza to help him train, mainly because he knew the guy wouldn't be doing anything, and he needed a professional swordsman- other than Kenshin and Shishio- to tell him what he needed to fix. If he was going to kill Voldemort, he'd need any edge he could get. He knew Voldemort definitely outclassed him when it came to magic, so he'd outclass him at something else!

For an answer, Zabuza pulled out his new sword. The Buster Sword was Heavier than his Cleaver, but that was alright. He'd actually trained with something this heavy when he was younger. It was what made handling the Cleaver a breeze. "Show me what you've got," he told the younger man.

Harry dropped into a battoujutsu stance.

_Hey, Kenshin, are you teaching this guy?_ Sano said.

_Sort of._

_Hmmm… That means I can help Zabuza too! Alright! This'll our first fight in a long time, Kenshin!_

_Two humans with two spirits each… _Zack mused._ Even odds. It'll be interesting to see what kind of Limit Breaks you have…_

_Let's get on with it!_ Shishio yelled.

There was a flicker, and Harry charged. At normal speed.

He had time to realize that he _wasn't_ doing Shukuchi before Zabuza swung the Buster Sword. Kenshin's skill set took over, and he dodged- barely- raising the sakabatou in defense against the back-swing Kenshin figured would follow.

_Wha…?_ Harry thought. After a little experimentation, they'd discovered that it was possible to talk to their respective 'residents' without the other spirits hearing. _Why can't I use the Shukuchi?_

_Because that's Sojiro's move,_ Kenshin said. _Without him, you can only use my skills. Well, mine and Shishio's, but you're not using his._

_He used Mugejin, didn't he?_ Shishio retorted.

_Okay, this calls for being creative…_ Harry mused.

Zabuza raised his hairless eyebrow. "Huh? I thought you were faster than that?"

"I don't need speed training," Harry lied. "I need how to know how to use these things!" he said, patting his sheaths. "Now come on!"

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Haku lay staring at the ceiling. His lips were numb, his tongue sore, and his brain was in a state of shock. Lilith had 'poofed' out a while ago, after lying down next to him under the blanket- naked, he strongly suspected, although it was hard to tell given how formfitting her non-clothes were- 'getting him used to it', or so she said.

And all they'd done was kiss.

He shuddered. She said that was the most basic thing she could test him on. If that was basic, what about the rest…?

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"Well?" Morrigan asked her sister as the rest crowded together behind her.

Lilith grinned. "He's young, innocent and a virgin," she said. "Total prude, too. We're going to have fun with that one…"

Everyone grinned…

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Hinata made sure to keep her jacket closed, even though this one- unlike her usual- which looked more like a trench coat, was uncomfortably warm. Things were made worse by the fact Kurenai-senei had sent them through her usual wringer, although strangely, that hadn't produced a… reaction.

She was glad she'd managed to get rid of the dark make-up before she'd met with her teammates. Akamaru kept acting strangely around her, but he obviously hadn't told Kiba anything, for which she was grateful.

A stray gust of wind blew through the little ramen stand her team was eating at,and she shivered despite herself, keeping her jacket closed with one hand, feeling the weight of… IT press against her stomach. She might have been able to get rid of the make-up, but if her teammates- or anyone else, for that matter!- saw what she was wearing underneath, she'd probably die from embarrassment.

As her team got ready to leave, someone bumped against her roughly, not even bothering to apologize.

Hinata stumbled, and she felt the dark chakra-like energy, close yet not, surrounding the- IT pulse. A moment of disorientation…

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Kiba growled as he caught Hinata. People always did that to her! He was about to open his mouth and start swearing at the snobby kunoichi who'd just struck against Hinata on purpose when someone beat him to it.

"Hey! Didn't anyone ever teach you manners?"

Kiba, Akamaru and Kurenai blinked. Shino might have, but it was impossible to tell under his sunglasses. Hinata had pushed herself away from Kiba and was pointing at the kunoichi, who'd turned, a surprised look on her face. For that matter, on the faces of a lot of people.

"Excuse me?" the kunoichi said.

"Are you apologizing or asking if I'm talking to you?" Hinata said challengingly, making it very obvious which one she thought it was as she tugged her coat- when had Hinata started wearing a coat?- open.

A lot of boys- and some girls- nearby developed nose-bleeds. Hinata was _not_ wearing her usual clothes. She wore hose-like pieces of leather at her claves, belted around the knee and ankles. It had made it look like she'd been wearing her pants. Instead of the usual ninja outfit she wore, she was wearing a skimpy black leather bikini top underneath a tight fishnet shirt. Her pouch hung from a belt over a pair of black hotpants short enough to be bloomers. And that was it. The only other thing Hinata wore was a gold medallion in the shape of an upside-down pyramid, nestled beneath her now not-so-small cleavage.

"Hinata…?" Kiba said.

"Butt out, Kiba! This is between her and me!" Hinata growled. "Well? I'm waiting for an apology."

One of the kunoichi's prissy blonde companions made a serious mistake. "_This_ is mousy Hinata…?"

Hinata's eyebrow rose. "Mousy?" she repeated, reaching into the pouch at her belt. "That's it!"

She pulled out what was obviously a deck of cards and riffled through them quickly, pulling out one. "Feel the power of my summons! Winged Dragon of Ra, come forth!"

There was a burst of dark purple energy from the Medalion around Hinata's neck, and a subtle aura of similar color surrounded her. There was a pulse, and a sphere of light appeared above her, enormously large and glowing brighter than the sun, casting new shadows all around. As everyone stared in shock, Hinata began to mutter strange, unintelligible words.

"(_Great beast of the sky, please hear my cry…!_)"

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Everyone wondered _who the heck_ summoned the giant golden dragon and how they'd be able to get one themselves…

Oh, and Hinata eventually got the girl to apologize…

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Harry was breathing hard as he and Zabuza faced off again. The sun was low on the horizon, turning the sky orange. They'd been at this for a while.

_Keep at it!_ Shishio cried.

_Are you crazy?_ yelled Kenshin. _Sweat glands or no sweat glands, this will kill him!_

"Call it a day?" Harry managed to get out.

Zabuza, burn him, didn't look at all that tired, despite having a heavier weapon. He shrugged. "Fine by me. Wimp. Let's go again tomorrow."

Harry shook his head. "Three days. I'll wait for Sojiro back."

Zabuza gave him a look. "Tomorrow," he said, his voice brooking no argument. "You need to learn to work with what you have."

Harry sighed. "Tomorrow," he agreed wearily. He needed to sleep…

Sheathing both his swords- when had he started using the _Mugenjin_ in his right hand?- he straightened, rolling his shoulders. Man, he was going to be sore in a few hours.

Zabuza sheathed the Buster Sword on his back as well. He looked at Harry with a critical eye. "Ask Haku for some of that cream he uses, or your joints are going to freeze up for tomorrow," he said.

"Thanks for the advice," Harry muttered, beginning to drag his feet in the general direction of the hotel.

Shrugging, Zabuza flickered and disappeared. Harry wondered how they managed to do that without knowing how to do the _Shukuchi_.

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Haku looked around, hoping he was completely alone. In this rather remote training field, he fairly doubted there was anyone else, but you can never be too sure.

Sighing and hoping for the best, Haku bit his thumb and made the necessary hand seals. The Succubus summoning technique required so little chakra to use, he'd first wondered if it was for real, but now he knew why. It was because that the succubi were innately powerful beings, but it was also because they increased their strength with their summoner. Or rather, _using_ their summoner…

A puff of smoke, and there was a succubus in front of Haku, but it wasn't Lilith again.

This succubus was markedly different. For one, her wings, both on her back and on her head, were feathered and white, very much bird's wings. Her hair was gathered to one side of her head in a sort of side ponytail, and she was markedly less-chested than Lilith. Her outfit consisted of what resembled a white sports-bra top and green bike shorts. The top had an oval cut into it, but it seemed superfluous, while the shorts had flame patterns on it. Hanging from her waist was a _nodachi_.

As soon as the smoke cleared, the succubus bowed quite formally. "You are Haku-sama? Lilith-ojuo-sama told us about you."

Haku blinked. After his encounter with Lilith, he'd been expecting… well, not this.

The succubus straightened. "I am Sakurazaki Setsuna, at your service, Haku-sama."

Ooooookkkkkkkaaaaaayyyyyy………

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Hinata trembled as she sat curled up with her knees against her chest. How had that happened? From what her team had said afterwards and what little she could remember- it was all hazy, as if a dream- she'd been very rude to that girl. Although that didn't explain why something that supposedly looked a lot like the Winged Dragon of Ra had suddenly appeared in the sky…

It all had something to do with… IT. Ever since she'd found IT in the street, things have been happening to her, although she wasn't sure what. She was sure she wouldn't up and decide to start putting on goth make-up and dressing… she blushed, forcing herself to finish the thought. Dressing in such an indecent manner.

Unconsciously, she reached into her pouch and pulled at her favorite card, staring at it. She didn't know what had possessed her to bring her dueling deck with her- not to mention every other card she owned!- but for now she was glad. Looking at her favorite card always helped her calm down and relax. Usually.

Idly, she fingered the card, looking at it as she always did, when suddenly IT pulsed around her neck. The dark energy began to flow. Hinata panicked, wondering what would happen now. Would she start acting weird again? Have another blackout?

In her hands, the card she was holding began to glow…

Hinata watched as a kind of portal suddenly appeared on the ground, and a blonde head wearing a pointy blue metal hat/helmet appeared, followed by bare shoulders, a sizable cleavage, and the rest of the Dark Magician Girl.

The Dark Magician Girl posed cutely before Hinata. "You summoned me, mistress?"

Hinata shook. This wasn't happening, this wasn't happening, this wasn't happening…

The Dark Magician Girl blinked her, Hinata suddenly noticed, incredibly beautiful blue eyes, staring at Hinata. Hinata followed her gaze, finding that her coat jacket had fallen open, revealing IT.

The Dark Magician Girl gasped, raising her hands to her mouth. "Pharaoh? Is that you?"

Before Hinata could blink, she was suddenly tackled by an enthusiastic magician's apprentice and found her face being mashed against the quite sizable chest. "PHARAOH!" she heard, the sound somewhat muffled by what she was finding herself pressed against.

Hinata struggled, although weakly. She really wasn't the violent kind, after all.

After a while, the magician's grip weakened, and Hinata was able to pull her face out of where it had been shoved into. "Um, look," she said, blushing fiercely, "I think you have me confused with someone el-"

Anything else she would have said was cut off as she felt a soft pair of lips pressing against her own. Her eyes widened as far as they would go, threatening to roll back as she almost fainted, but was jolted out of that as she felt a tongue enter her mouth. She began to shake, and things around her began to loose focus, becoming indistinct. She wondered if this was what fainting was like, but no, things stayed as they were, she wasn't loosing consciousness or anything…

And still very much aware of the mouth on hers, the tongue wriggling against hers…

The Dark Magician Girl's arms were no longer holding her in place as tightly as before. One had dropped down and was stroking her back, while the other was much lower…

Hinata felt herself jerk as said hand started massaging her rump gently, pushing her deeper into the kiss. Her eyes began to close of their own accord, and she waited for herself to fall into oblivion…

Sadly for her she wasn't fainting. In fact, if anything, she was… kissing back?

A moan of pleasure began to vibrate from the back of the Dark Magician Girl's throat. Hinata's shaking grew worse, even as a similar moan began to come from her own…

After an infinity- where Hinata had momentary flashes of herself kissing Naruto, which had had her kissing a bit more enthusiastically every time she had until she remembered where she was, causing her to try to pull back. Every time she did, however, something urged her on- the two broke apart, gasping for air, which had become rather scarce.

Hinata expected herself to finally faint. She expected IT to react and make her slap the other girl for taking advantage of her (sort of). She wasn't expecting shaking with pleasure, however, or having a dreamy, hungering look on her face.

She wasn't expecting finding herself looking deep into the eyes of the blonde girl, so like the eyes of another blond she knew, and whispering in a husky, desiring tone, "Mana…"

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Somewhere, another potion went wrong, and Voldemort and Orochimaru found themselves turned into the most horrifying things in existence…

"This is all your fault!" Voldemort cried, who suddenly had the form of someone's mother-in-law. How he knew it was someone's mother in law was anyone's guess.

"No, THIS IS ALL YOU FAULT!" Orochimaru cried. He'd been turned into a pile of tax forms.

Kimimaro walked in, ready to report he'd taken care of all those who knew about the shameful situation, took one look at the two of them, and turned around screaming in pure and absolute terror.

Horrifying…

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Come chuunin exam eliminations, Neji is dead meat. I can just _see_ it…

Zack supposedly taught Cloud, so I'm guessing he also taught him his Limit Breaks…

DMG used to me a human girl named Mana who was a friend of the pharaoh. Here, she's a 'friend'. -_snicker_- Naruto's got competition. Or not. For stories sake, though, she doesn't remember his/her/ name either, although there are a bunch of things she _does_ remember and pharaoh is the same…

And before you ask, women _can_ be Pharaoh's. I _think_ Cleopatra was one…

What do you expect? Playing it _very _fast and loose with a lot of elements here…

Please review, C&C welcome. BTW, anyone heard from **Ran Hoshino** lately? He hasn't been around in a while. I hope he's alright…

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	7. Three Days Later, With Plot

A/N: This fic will have a lot of fan-self-service, the things I like to see but seldom or never do, so…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 7: Three Days Later, With Plot!

Disclaimer: I don't won, you don't sue.

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Yami sighed as she got tired of waiting. Exiting her Soul Room, which looked like a demented cross between a maze, an Egyptian tomb and puzzle-centric toy store, the now-feminine spirit of the nameless Pharaoh knocked on the doors of Hinata's Soul Room, which were still firmly shut. A huge 'do not disturb' sign hung on the door, partially covering some of the various pictures of Naruto, as well as praises to his name, person, ability, etc.

"Yo! Hinata-chan, open up! It's time for us to be awake!" Yami yelled, pounding on the door.

"Don't wanna…" a voice drifted from within. Yami shook her head. How could anyone make even _that_ seem cute? Only Hinata.

"_Aibo-_chan, if you don't get up, I'm taking over and calling up Mana-koi so we can get… frisky," she threatened with a grin.

There was a pause, and the door to Hinata's Soul Room suddenly opened. Grinning to herself, Yami strolled in, pausing only slightly to get used to all the orange. Orange was everywhere in this Soul Room. Orange and Naruto. Pictures- technically memories of him represented by pictures- littered every square inch of the walls and ceiling.

Hinata herself was standing in the center of the room, gazing at a small picture she held in her hands. Yami grinned to herself, knowing what it was. It was a shot of Naruto in his underwear, which Hinata had 'accidentally' seen while she was hanging around Naruto's apartment and hoping to catch a glimpse of him. He'd come out in his underwear because he'd gone to check his mail for something from Iruka, and hadn't bothered putting anything on.

Hinata put away the picture-memory as Yami approached, blushing and trying to make it look like she hadn't been doing any such thing. Yami always wondered why Hinata was always naked in her Soul Room. At first she had thought her _aibo _had something sexual going on, but that seemed not to be the case. She herself was always wearing some risque outfit or other, which changed everytime she moved, and even when she didn't.

"Come on," she said. "We're going to be late!"

"Hai, Yami-san," Hinata said.

Yami rolled her eyes. "Oh, will you cut that out? It's just Yami. Say it with me now. Ya-mi! No -san or anything, got it? I'm you, and you are me. We are Hinata. So stop it with the honorifcs already! If you want to call me anything, call me Yami-chan, okay?"

Hinata nodded timidly, twiddling her fingers. Even in _here_, she did it! "Hai, Yami-chan." She somehow manage to make it sound like a title.

Yami sighed. Well, she tried. If she wasn't successful, it wasn't her fault.

Switching control back and forth had led to Hinata finding out about her 'split personality' on the day after Yami had first summoned Mana. She'd woken up in her bed to fin herself mostly naked and sharing said bed with a mostly naked Dark Magician Girl. She'd been about to freak when IT- the Millennium Puzzle- had pulsed, and she suddenly wasn't in control of her body, or her actions. It wasn't like the previous times. The haze was less now, almost not there at all. It was when she- or at least, her body, because there was no way _she_ was doing it!- started getting frisky with the still sleeping Dark Magician Girl that she started to resist…

To make a long, boring reenactment short: Hinata, meet Yami. Yami, meet Hinata.

They eventually settled on a rough partnership. Yami still took over whenever she felt like it, but now she relinquished it readily enough. When she felt like it…

Groggily, Hinata left he Soul Room, opening her eyes and pushing off her blankets as she found herself in her bed. Getting up, she was about to put on her standard wear when she 'felt' Yami's voice say 'behind' her, "Uh-uh, not that. Try the black shirt I made last night, with the pants we tore a couple of days ago."

Doing as her other self said, Hinata put on the black shirt that Yami had applied a _kunai_ on, cutting off the sleeves at the shoulder for a ragged look and doing the same to the neck. The jeans were a pair of black ones that Yami had had Akamaru 'play' with. It ended up with several rips, tears and holes; the left leg had been mostly torn off completely, almost as high as the hot pants Hinata had buried in the yard and Yami had dug up again.

Hinata blushed as she looked at herself in the mirror. She'd strapped her thigh holster on the leg that still existed, her pouch was on her belt behind her left hip, and a twin pair of belts with chrome studs crossed her hips, from which hung card cases containing her cards. Because Hinata was something of a collector- alright, she was a rabid collector, although her mania paled compared to her Naruto obsession- she had a lot. She had at least seven Blue-Eyes White Dragon cards– for some bizarre reason, Yami called them 'Kisaras', whatever that meant. When Hinata asked why, all Yami said was, "I don't remember. Oh, well, if I forgot, it must not have been very important,"– who knows how many Dark Magician Girls, five sets of Exodia, and enough Black Luster Rituals to create an army, just to name a few.

Around her neck glinted I- the Millennium Puzzle. At Yami's urging, Hinata started to tie buckles around her biceps. More went around her forearms, so many and close together they looked like bracers. A plain black dog collar went around her neck. Her _hitae-ate_ was tied just above her right elbow. To finish off the look was a black trench coat, that Yami had also taken a _kunai_ to, removing the sleeves and giving them a ragged look. On the back was the Hyuuga clan crest.

Hinata had gotten much better at sneaking out of the house since Yami had started telling her what to wear…

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"Sojiro!" Harry cried, grabbing the sword and rubbing his cheek against it in glee, careful not to cut himself. He felt a sense of completion as the third of his spirits returned to the fold. He'd really missed him. And he'd really missed being able to do the _Shukuchi_.

_I missed you too, Harry,_ Sojiro laughed as Harry put the sword back in it's place at his waist.

_Sojiro,_ Shishio greeted gruffly.

Kenshin laughed. _Don't let him fool you. He really missed you too._

Meis chuckled in amusement. He could hear the byplay. "I take it he's satisfied?" he said as Harry paid him.

"Yeah," Harry said, stepping back to let Zabuza pay for his Cleaver and the new harness, with the nin's own money this time. He traded in the old one to reduce the price. "Thanks for your help."

Meis grinned. "All in a day's work for a spirit blacksmith."

He waved the two out the door, then immediately locked up and rushed upstairs to his wives, taking his clothes off as he ran…

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Sasuke eyed Sakura warily. They'd just finished that morning's missions, which had involved walking dogs, trash cleanup and others, and not once had she bothered him to ask him out. In fact, she hadn't done anything in three days. He'd have thought this would make him relax as his second most constant annoyance was removed. Instead, it was serving to make him more apprehensive. Just what was she up to?

Kakashi had just dismissed them, and Sasuke started his countdown. It never failed. Usually. She'd ask him if he could walk her home, or she could train with him, or…

Time up. Sakura hadn't said a thing. In fact, she was starting to walk away, but not before glancing at him and smiling mysteriously.

_That pup knows something…_ Sesshomaru mused, idly trying to take over while he was distracted.

Growling internally, Sasuke pushed him aside, wondering just what he meant. The youkai said some pretty weird things sometimes. Still, he restrained himself. He would not ask, no matter how much it was burning him up inside…

Naruto and Inu-Yasha, who also heard what Sesshomaru said, had no such compunctions.

"Hey, Sakura! What do you know that you're not telling us?" Naruto yelled.

Yue glared at him, but said nothing. Keroberos just kept on reading his manga.

Sakura stopped and turned around, that mysterious smile in place and up a few notches. "What do you mean, Naruto-kun?" she said teasingly.

"You haven't bugged me in days," Sasuke said, taking the opening to ask his questions. After all, Naruto was the one who brought it up, right?

If anything, Sakura's smile became more mysterious. More mysterious and… teasing? "I thought you didn't like annoying girls?"

Yup, definitely teasing.

Sasuke growled.

Sakura just laughed. Laughed, the maniac! "Well, I gotta go! See you around… Syaoran-kun!"

Sasuke blinked as Sakura skipped off. Syaoran-kun? Why did that sound so familiar…

Neither he nor Naruto noticed that box that was following them…

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_Your brother is embarrassing,_ Kagura said as Kankuro picked up the little girl by her shirt.

"Tell me about it," Temari muttered. Not because she was trying to be subtle, but because she felt like muttering. She _still_ didn't get that talking to Kagura in public made her sound crazy.

Leaning against the nearby fence, Temari watched in appreciation as the blond and the cute guy in the blue shirt moved closer, the blonde keeping two younger boys behind him, and got ready to gang up on Kankuro. That red thing the blond was wearing looked weird though…

_You know,_ Kagura said, _what that blond kid is wearing looks really familiar. I could swear it was the same thing this weak hanyou used to wear…_

_Who are you calling weak!_ a voice suddenly cried.

There was an infinitesimal pause.

_Kagura?_ another voice said.

_Sesshomaru?_ Kagura whispered in awe.

_Hey! Fan girl! I'm talking to you!_

By now, Temari and the two boys had gone very still and were looking at each other.

"Kagura?" the blond said. "Isn't she Naraku's whore?"

"**What the heck did you call her?**" Temari yelled.

"She wasn't his whore," the cute kid growled at his companion. Well, companion seemed too strong a term. More like 'guy-he-happened-to-be-in-the-same-alley-with'.

Kankuro and the girl were now looking between the two boys and Temari in confusion, although with Kankuro, there was a little something else to it.

Temari reached behind her for her fan.

Kankuro's eyes widened in panic, swearing under his breath. Quickly he put the girl down, much to her surprise. "Run," he muttered to the girl. "My crazy sister is about to do something crazy."

Before the situation could escalate, however, Gaara made his dramatic appearance.

Actually, he walked into the alley talking to a pink-haired girl. From the sound of it, they were discussing the effects of schizophrenia.

Temari and Kankuro froze as they saw their little-brother-slash-sand-super-weapon. The two older boys boggled at the girl.

"Oh, hey guys!" the girl said. "Gaara-san and I were just talking, and he was just telling me the most fascinating things…"

"Temari, Kankuro, what is going on?" Gaara in his 'about to be pissed and kill someone tone'. As in, normal.

Oooooohhhh boy, were they in trouble…

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"You ready?" Harry asked Zabuza as he settled into a battoujutsu stance, one hand on the _sakabatou_.

Zabuza glanced nervously over his shoulder. "I'm never going to get used to this," he muttered.

"Relax," Harry said. "Haku's Succubi will watch our backs."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Zabuza muttered, but drew his newly maintenanced Cleaver, ignoring the large crowd watching them from impromptu stands.

When Harry and Zabuza had started training again the day after they'd left their swords to be fixed, a couple of nin had watched them, idly curious as to what they were practicing. The crowd had grown slightly as those with nothing better to do despite the coming chuunin exam came over to watch.

It was when Zabuza had pulled a Limit Break, however, that the crowd perked up and started taking interest. Braver is impressive to see, even for seasoned nin.

They'd been surprised when Harry dodged, but even more surprised when he pulled a _Ryu So Sen_, slamming multiple hits into Zabuza's abdomen and drawing blood- with the _sakabatou_. Not even the _taijutsu_ users in the crowd had been able to see all the strikes.

After lunch, the crowd grew.

Haku had lent them some of his Succubi for crowd control, which helped a little. A red-headed Succubus named Asakura Kazumi was announcing the start of the fight, while a squinty-eyed Succubus with short creamy-brown hair with a similar colored fox tail whom the others called the Kitsune was going around selling drinks, snacks, and teasing the audience. Yet another Succubus with dark brown, helmet-shaped hair named Nabiki was taking bets. Setsuna was standing to one side, her _nodachi_ slung over her shoulder for comfort. It was her turn to officiate. Other Succubi were keeping the audience behind the lines. A Succubus with bright orange hair named Nanami who had the ability to see through disguises flew around, watching in case Kakashi tried to sneak in under a _henge_. They had a strict 'no active Sharingan' rule. Their moves were their own, thank-you-very-much!

"Ready?" Setsuna said as she raised a marked fan. "Begin!"

"And Harry opens with his usual battoujutsu maneuver, which is parried by Zabuza. Zabuza retaliates with a backhand cut, causing Harry to- Harry uses the blade as a launch platform! And he's in the air, what dreaded technique will he use?" Kazumi commentated.

"_Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryu: Ryutsuisen!" _Harry yelled, swinging downward.

"And it's the Dragon Hammer Flash. Nabiki, what were the odds on that?"

Somehow, Harry and Zabuza managed to keep training…

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To Kakashi, there was one good thing about always being late: he never had to wait in line. By the time he got there, the line was gone, so all he had to do was just stroll up to the counter at do his business.

And that was exactly what Kakashi did: he walked up to the table Iruka was sitting behind and filed the papers that would let his team participate in the chuunin exam. As it turned out, he wasn't the only one late.

"Hey, Haku," he greeted as the boy handed his papers to the one next to Iruka, along with a letter from the Hokage letting him do so.

Haku nodded to Kakashi, before his eyes flicked around nervously. "Hello, Kakashi-san. You are enrolling Naruto-kun and the others?"

Kakashi nodded. "They seem ready," was all he said.

"I agree," Haku said as he waited for his papers to be processed. "Naruto-kun's _Kaze no Kizu_ is certainly very powerful, and Sasuke's touch for healing is remarkable."

Iruka paused as he heard that. "Healing? SASUKE?"

Haku nodded, turning to the other man. "Yes. His faculty for healing is beyond anything I've ever seen."

Kakashi and Iruka blinked and looked at each other. SASUKE? HEALING?

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Somewhere, Sasuke sneezed. Why was _Tenseiga_ tingling all of a sudden…?

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After hearing Haku's stories about Naruto's _Tessaiga_, Sasuke's _Tokijin_ and Sakura's Cards, Iruka decided he didn't need to test the three. After all, he might get killed…

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Harry and Zabuza decided to call it a break by mid-afternoon. Both were pretty tired, Harry from maintaining the insanely high speeds needed by the two styles he was willing to use, Zabuza from swinging _two_ huge-ass swords with one hand at the same time. He was a jounin, not He-man!

As Harry lost the last of the groupies who'd followed him from the training ground, he rotated his shoulder, trying to get it to loosen up and wishing Ginny or Hermione- or both!- were there to massage it for him.

_Did you **have** to use that Shun Ten Satsu? _Kenshin asked.

_I needed to use it eventually,_ Harry said_. Besides, I was aiming for the Buster Sword, and since I wasn't using Zantetsu with it, it didn't penetrate, so no big._

_It **did **send Zabuza flying a long way, though, _Sojiro snickered.

Shishio, meanwhile, was plotting. _There **has** to be a way we can get a hold of the Omnislash_ _manual,_ he groused for the nth time that day.

_Give over, Shishio,_ Harry said tiredly, but left it at that. The other two didn't say anything. They all hated Omnislash as much as Shishio did.

So immersed were they on their conversation, even the three swordsmen weren't really watching where they were going…

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Temari had to repeatedly quash the impulse to look behind her. Meeting up with Gaara and that pink-haired girl had been… surreal, to say the least. They'd _somehow_ ended up hitting a karaoke bar. The girl had chatted endlessly, managing to bring them along in her wake. She was pretty weird, though. She kept calling the black-haired kid 'Syaoran-kun', even thoughTemari was _pretty_ sure his name was Sasuke. The Sesshomaru guy had told Kagura so.

One thing was for sure: Temari never wanted to see another microphone as long as she lived!

She'd barely managed to escape by using Kagura's fan to cause a whirlwind as a distraction. She was fairly sure the kid with the Sesshomaru guy had used some smokebombs a little after the wind had calmed down to make his own escape.

She glanced over her shoulder, and Kagura, who'd been strangely quiet 'til then, yelled, _LOOK OUT!_ just a tick before she bumped into someone and was knocked down, landing half on her butt because of the giant fan on her back.

Wincing, she pushed herself up, ignoring the pain in her forearm, elbow, and the side of her right leg. Being a shinobi, she was used to hard knocks, but that didn't mean she liked it.

Gritting her teeth, she got ready to unload her frustrations and annoyance on whoever it was she'd run into. An imprecation already at her lips, she turned-

- and completely forgot whatever she was going to say, why she was so cranky, the reason she was on the ground, the fact she was _on_ the ground, her mission, her village, and her _name_ as she set her eyes on who was assuredly the _hottest_ guy on the planet.

"Whoa…" she breathed as she stared at him, looking at him up and down, trying to memorize every detail for later. Move over Johnny Depp, _this_ guy would be the one she'd be using during her sex-fantasies, shower 'relief' sessions, and wet dreams from now on.

He was taller than her, but slimmer, leaner. His untidy dark hair curled around his neck in a manner Temari found _very_ sexy. Piercing green eyes met her own, and she felt like she was going to melt. His hands were supple, graceful, and delicate, and Temari could just imagine how those hands would feel as they roamed her body, stroking her sensitive skin and setting fire to her senses, carressing her neck, her shoulders, her sides, breasts, hips, thighs, crotch…

"Are you alright, miss?" the guy said, holding out his hand to help her up, which she'd just been staring at with drool dripping out of the corner of her mouth and a little blood bleeding from her nose, as a particular wetness began gathering at a particular intersection of limbs…

Blushing suddenly as she was reminded of reality, Temari ducked her head, quickly wiping the drool and blood off her face with one hand as she accepted the hand up with the other, hoping he wouldn't notice. In truth, she really didn't _need_ the hand up, but she so wanted to feel those hands, those slim, sexy hands…

"Um, miss? You can let go now," the guy said nervously.

Temari blinked. She was still holding his hand, she realized. In the background, she could hear Kagura snickering in 'private' mode- as in, only Temari could hear her; it was something they'd discovered after being forced to hang around Sesshomaru and Inu-Yasha- snickering at her oh-so-mature reactions. Hastily, she let go, blushing.

The guy didn't seem to notice, however. "I'm very sorry for running into you like that, miss. I wasn't watching where I was going."

"That's alright," Temari said. "I wasn't watching where I was going, either." No forehead protector. A civilian, almost certainly, even if he _did_ carry swords. That tickled something in her brain. Something about a guy…

Temari pushed it out of her mind. If she couldn't remember, then it wasn't really that important anyway. Had nothing to do with the mission, either. "Really, it's alright," she insisted. Kami, he was hot!

"Are you sure? I feel really guilty about all this…" he said. "Is there anything I can do?"

Temari had a sudden brainstorm. Well, since he as being so insistent… "Well, you can take me to dinner. How does that sound?" she said, hooking her arm at his elbow.

He blinked. "Well, okay," he said, a hesitant smile coming to his lips.

_ALRIGHT! _yelled Kagura, still silently. _TEMARI SHOOTS, SHE SCORES!_

Meanwhile, three swordsmen were also silently ribbing a certain guy…

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_I have Hermione and Ginny, I have Hermione and Ginny, I have Hermione and Ginny_… Harry kept repeating to himself as the blonde girl led him to a nice, clean, cheap eating place. Temari, she said her name was. She was pretty cute, he'd grant her that, although she didn't have Ginny's slimness, or Hermione's elegance. True, she had a compact firmness to her- she obviously worked out- and her figue was nicely filled out, and…

_NO! I HAVE HERMIOME AND GINNY, I HAVE HERMIONE AND GINNY_…! Harry began again, trying to keep his thoughts off the blonde.

He was fighting a losing battle.

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"Whoa!" Temari said. She turned to Harry. "What a coincidence. We're in the same hotel. It must be fate."

Harry was also surprised. His surprise went up another notch when he realized her room was right next to his. Walking her back to where she was staying was starting to feel like a bad idea.

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The next day, they went on another date. And the next. And the next. And the next.

Harry wondered how he was going to explain this to Hermione and Ginny…

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**- To be continued…**

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A/N: Before anyone asks, I _did_ say this was going to be a foursome fic. Since no one suggested another girl…

**Baka Shinobi** once asked me to make '**_Uzumaki Harry_**' Harry/Temari. I hope this suffices…

My image of Harry still looks like a dark-haired version of Kaworu Nagisa. In this fic, he has Kenshin's body-type.

I had the evil thought of throwing Eriol in somewhere, but… although having him as Gaara _was_ awfully tempting…

Coming soon, the beginnings of the chuunin exam. And _no_, Harry won't be joining, although he's still getting into the Forest of Death anyway…

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**OMAKE 1: FUN WITH HAKU**

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At his point, he knew better than to try and struggle. That only encouraged them, so, _no_, he wasn't going to, thank you very much. He'd just lie there, do as they asked with his hands if he felt like it and wait for them to finish manhandling– well, technically, Succubus-handling– him until they were satisfied– or at least appeased– enough to finally buzz off back into whatever realm they came from.

Whatever anyone said, he was too young for sex, darn it! Most of his memories of his parents were dulled, but he remembered them teaching him _that_ much!

Finally, after one last nibble on his ear, nuzzle on his neck, and rubbing her tail all over him, Mitsune 'Kitsune' 'poofed' off, finally getting rid of them.

Well, most of them.

Setsuna looked up from the copy of 'Icha Icha Paradise' she was reading. She'd borrowed it from Zabuza, and although it was a bit dull in her opinion, she found it mostly enjoyable. "Done already? You must be getting better."

Setsuna. She was always the last. Some of the Succubi had 'special' request when it came to 'paying' for their services. Chachamaru like to have her spring wound. Yue had to be read to– from either 'Icha Icha' or some other equally perverted work. That sort of stuff.

Setsuna, well…

"You need to rest up?" Setsuna asked teasingly as Haku just lay there, taking breaths. Reaching for the pitcher of water next to the bed, he poured the last of the contents into the glass and gulped it all in one go. He shook his head. He'd lost most of his clothes a while back already, so he didn't need to get changed or anything.

Setsuna nodded. "Good," she said. Tucking her wings close, she crawled on the bed with him, snuggling against his body. "G'night, Haku-sama," she said, closing her eyes and sticking to him like a barnacle.

Haku looked down at her and sighed. Well, there were worst things than having a Succubus who liked to cuddle as her means of being paid…

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**OMAKE 2: WHAT? I _LIKE_ INO…**

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"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up and try your luck," the showman said with practiced ease, standing in front of an anvil with a sword stuck into it. "For only a hundred ryou, you can have the chance to bring home a Musica Original! All you have to do is pull out the sword, and it's yours!"

People, shinobi and civilian, local and foreign, began to crowd around, hearing the man's spiel. A few of the more confident and stronger ones plucked down their money, confident they could pull out the sword. A Musica Original, made by one of the family of legendary weapon smiths? For one of those, a hundred ryou was a steal! And even if it wasn't those with an eye for weapons could tell that the sword was pretty good by itself. And those with eyes period could see the distinctive brand of the Musica family, so they _knew_ it was real.

However, there was a reason the showman talked with practiced ease. Namely, he had a lot of practice with his spiel. One after another, try as they might, no one could dislodge the sword. Heck, no one could even _move_ it slightly, the really strong ones who tried sometimes managed to pick up the anvil, sword and all. Yet the sword as obviously a separate piece from the anvil, since it was stabbed sideways instead of the classical straight-down.

Team Ten stood off the one side, watching people try and fail as they ate from a roadside stand.

"You sir!" the showman said, pointing at Asuma. "You want to give this a try? Only one hundred ryou for the chance to win a Musica Original! And I'll even throw in a free back harness for you to carry it around if you succeed!"

Asuma was about to turn it down when he caught sight of Kurenai and her team out of the corner of his eye. He shrugged. "Sure, why not," he said, plunking down his money and moving towards the sword. For a whole minute, he pulled, pushed, prodded, and generally tried to get the sword to budge, but it was no go. It probably wasn't helping that Ino kept shouting out conflicting suggestions for what to do, seriously messing up his strategy– if he even had one in the first place, that is.

Finally, at the end of his time allotment, he shrugged as the crowd groaned in disappointment.

"Sensei, why didn't you do as I asked you to!" Ino yelled, making gestures with her hands. "If you'd just done this, then this, then that for a few seconds, I'm sure you'd managed to pull it out!"

Unfortunately, the showman heard her. "Oh, is that so, little girl?" he said, smirking at Ino. "Well, if it's really that simple, why don't you come up here and show us all how it's done? On the house! What do you all think?" he asked the crowd, which roared it's approval.

Sniffing disdainfully, Ino made a show of pulling up non-existent sleeves as she approached the anvil. Behind her, Shikamaru was shaking his head, muttering about troublesome females while Chouji opened another bag of chips and asked Asuma if they could get more barbecue (he got a resounding NO).

Looking at the sword, Ino frowned to herself, silently cursing her big mouth. Oh well, at least Sasuke and Sakura weren't here to see her make a fool of themselves…

Ino blinked. How did Sakura's name get there? And… them?

Eyeing the sword, she shrugged. Well, it wasn't like anyone really expected her to pull it out, right?

Saying something confident and Ino-esque– she was so conscious of everyone she forgot what it was the minute the words left her mouth– she gripped the handle with both hand, and pulled…

… and nearly fell over when the sword came out of the anvil like it was oiled.

The sound of nearly a hundred jaws simultaneously hitting the ground was heard through the suddenly silent area.

Ino blinked, then broke into a wide grin. "Hey, I pulled it out! Hey, hey, GUYS, LOOK! I PULLED IT OUT!" Ino yelled towards her team, waving the sword above her head.

The showman sighed. Well, it had to come out eventually. Fourteen years was a good run. Sighing again, he resigned himself to being either a blacksmith, a silversmith or a rock-star just like the rest of the family. He wasn't Musica the Nth for nothing!

Oh, and Ino decided to keep the sword. The harness went very well with her outfit…

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What? I _like_ Ino! She deserves some weird weapon too! Guess what it is…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	8. Snakes In The Exam

A/N: And now, more fun…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 8: Snakes in the Exam

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.

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"Yo, peeps," Yami said as they approached Team Eight's usual meeting place. Shino just nodded. One girl was as good as another, in his book. Kiba frowned at them intently, trying to decide who it was today.

"Yami, right?" he said.

"Good one, Kibble," Yami said, to which Kiba growled goodnaturedly. "Where's sensei?"

Shino shrugged. "She says we get a free day," Kiba said. "Something about a chuunin exam."

"Oh?" Yami said, eyebrow raised.

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Shino yelled, pointing at Yami. "Other Hinata, I challenge you to a Duel!"

Right on time. Yami grinned, pulling out her deck. "Bring it on, Bugs!"

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Meanwhile, Ino was shopping. Ever since Elie– or Resha Valentine, she wasn't really quite sure which– had settled in with the sword, the Yamanaka girl had suddenly needed to replace her wardrobe as her bust-size increased practically overnight. Something to do with Ethelion's effects on her body. Not that she minded. The better to entice Sasuke and Sak- _SASUKE_ with.

(Dang, she had to watch out for that…)

A couple of other Ethelion effects had also immerged. For one, she was a little physically stronger now, at least enough to be able to swing her Rave-empowered sword with one hand, for short bursts, at least. Easier to swing it around with two hands, unless it's in Sylpholion form…

The other thing was weirder. Somehow, Ethelion had also unlocked a ton of past-life memories she didn't know she had. It was very confusing. From what she could tell, she was the best friend and mistress of some girl called the Card Mistress, as well as the cousin and mistress of some guy named Syaoran. Although it might not be exactly like that since in those memories, she'd either be named Tomoyo or Meiling. And she seemed to remember being in an unusual marriage…

Talking to Elie about it was no help. The girl said she hadn't been able to make sense of her own past life memories (and they weren't even really from a past life! They were from before her death was faked!). She'd heard from some guy named Sieghart that really powerful sorcerers could help reincarnants with those problems, but really, where could they find a sorcerer adept at that in this day and age?

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"HA-CHOO!" Sakura sneezed.

"Bless you," said Yue, not looking up from the copy of '**_Icha Icha Paradise_**'he'd borrowed from Kakashi. Sakura scowled. The pervert was being a bad influence on her Moon Guardian…

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Harry had figured it out. He'd simply classify his time with Temari as a summer romance. You can't blame a guy for having one of those, right? And everyone knows those don't really go anywhere, so no worries.

With those happy thoughts, Harry set out to enjoy himself with the blonde Sand-nin, who he found very cute…

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She rushed away from her team, refusing to give in to the temptation to raise her hand to her chest. The chest bindings had come loose. She ground her teeth. If she hadn't been so surprised that morning, she would have done a better job with the bindings, but she'd been distracted. And now she was paying for it.

When she was sure no one was in range, she took off her shirt and undid her bandages, exposing her bra-less chest. Quickly, she rebound them, making it as flat as possible before putting her shirt back on. Her secret would not be revealed.

She made a note to get back at her cousin for this near-indignity.

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The next day…

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Waving one last time to Temari– Temari_-chan_, he corrected: she insisted he call her that– as she and her brothers were going to take the chuunin exam– whatever _that_ was– Harry turned to keep his appointment with the Hokage. It had been weird, meeting her brothers. Kankuro, who in his opinion wore weird make-up, had kept winking and nudging him, asking what he thought of Temari, making suggestions about how he could get her in bed and at the same time implying he'd hurt Harry terribly if he did, when he wasn't pestering him to do it so she'd calm down. Definitely weird.

Gaara was quiet but intense. His only words had been, "Hurt her, and I'll kill you."

Harry had wondered if dating Temari worth. Then he took one look at her and decided, _yes, it was and more!_

Ignoring the snickering coming from his swords– they'd been teasing him for days now– Harry strolled towards the 'Kage Tower, his mind thinking of cute blonde Sand girls.

The Hokage looked up as Harry was admitted into his office. "Ah, Potter-san. I've been hearing very interesting things about you. Any chance you could be convinced to make your training sessions with Momochi a regular thing? The predicted income is very good. I'll even lend you a venue."

Harry chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. "Um, that's not really necessary, Hokage-sama. Where we are is good enough for our training."

The Hokage blinked. "But where will the audience sit?"

Harry blanched. Audience? Okay, he'd rather not think of that. "About Orochimaru…?" he pressed.

"Ah, yes," the Hokage said, and pressed a button on his intercom. "Send Anko in, please."

At Harry's questioning look, the old man explained. "Anko used to be Orochimaru's student. She might be able to advice you as to his habits, to help you track him down, and by extension, his cousin."

Harry smirked. "Leaving me to do all the dirty work, huh?"

The Hokage smiled brightly. "Please?"

The two shared a laugh. A moment later, Anko was let in….

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Temari stretched out as the crazy lady with the weird fashion sense finally let them go, telling them to come back tomorrow. She was still pretty annoyed with how the written exam portion had turned out. All the cheating, and they'd only had to stay in the room after the last question! She had half a mind to ask Gaara to crush that scar-faced guy.

_Why not do it ourselves…?_ whispered Kagura, and the two chuckled evilly, not noticing Gaara and Kankuro's concerned looks, wondering for her sanity.

Spotting someone out of the corner of her eye, she grinned, waving back to her brothers. "Later guys," she said, running towards Harry.

Kankuro gave Harry a thumbs-up and a grin behind Temari's back, then pulled out a _kunai_ and made a expressive gesture across his neck. Harry rolled his eyes subtly. Yup, no doubt about it, Temari's brothers were weird.

"Hey, handsome," Temari said, threading her arm around Harry's elbow. "Treat a tired girl to dinner?"

Harry pretended to think about it. "Sure, why not. I'm feeling generous."

Grinning, Temari kissed him on the cheek as the two walked off arm in arm away from the exam venue. "So, how was the test…?"

"Hey, Sasuke-kun!" Ino greeted, glomping onto Sasuke's arm. Sasuke twitched, then realized there was something different…

Naruto was more observant and blunt. "Hey, Ino, how did your knockers get so big?"

Ino glared at the red-clad blond, but was spared from retaliating when Sakura whacked his head with that pink wand she'd been carrying around. "Naruto! Stop bothering Tomoyo-chan!"

Ino blinked, staring at Sakura. Where had she gotten the name 'Tomoyo'…?

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto pouted, then jumped suddenly as _someone_ groped his butt. "HEY!" he yelled, spinning around but not seeing any likely suspects. Frowning, he turned to the closest trustworthy-looking person. "Hey, Hinata-chan, did you see anyone come up behind me and touch my ass?"

Hinata blushed, twiddling her fingers nervously, not meeting him in the eye. "N-no one, N-Naruto-kun. Sorry."

Growling, Naruto started looking around.

"Don't be stupid, Naruto," Ino said. "Who would anyone want to touch _your_ butt? Now, if it were Sasuke-kun…"

Meanwhile, Yami was celebrating. _ALRIGHT! WE GOT TO TOUCH NARUTO'S REAR! NEXT TARGET, HIS FRONT!_

_YAMI!_ Hinata protested, her cheeks reddening slightly as she listened to what her darker half was suggesting– no, saying outright!

Haku was silently thanking his lucky stars that he hadn't needed to summon any of the Succubi.

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The next day…

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Team Seven didn't so much as blink as the weird guy riding the snake suddenly seemed to pop out of nowhere.

"Told you it was a guy," Sakura said smugly.

"Uchiha Sasuke I-" the weirdo began, but Sasuke cut him off.

"Look, now is not good for me, alright?" Sasuke said. "I'll tell you I won't date you another time."

Orochimaru blinked. Okay, _that_ had never happened before. "I'm not here for a date! I-!"

"So you're here for the scroll," Sasuke interrupted again. "Well, we can't have that. Naruto, Inu-Yasha?"

"By all means, Sasuke, Sesshomaru," Naruto said, drawing Tessaiga as Sasuke pulled out Tokijin. "_Kaze no Kizu!_"

Sasuke merely flicked Tokijin.

Orochimaru was blown away by the combined Wind Scar and Tokijin's demonic aura. The summon disappeared as it took the brunt of the blast, but what was left still left Orochimaru very singed as he went flying through the trees at high speed.

Sakura pulled a Card out of her pouch. "_WOOD CARD!_"

Sakura made the trees bend away from Orochimaru's flight path. "The farther he flies, the longer before he comes back and bother us," Sakura explained.

Sasuke shrugged. "Works for me."

Putting the weirdo out of their mind, Team Seven went back to what they were doing….

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Kiba and Shino stared at the bushes, which were shaking every so often.

"What do you think she's doing in there?" Kiba asked Shino. The bug boy shrugged.

A few hours and games of Duel Monsters later– Kiba was able to hold his own against Shino and even win a couple of times– Yami-possessed-Hinata skipped out of the bushes, followed by a tall, busty, blonde girl wearing a skimpy, light-blue outfit.

Shino eyed the Dark Magician Girl cosplayer– at least, he thought it was a cosplayer– as Kiba turned to Other Hinata. "What took you so long?" he asked.

Yami smiled cheekily. "Hey, I had a lot of sexual frustration to get out okay?"

Kiba paled. Shino almost swallowed one of his bugs.

The Millennium Puzzle shone for a moment, and the confident look was wiped out of Hinata's face, to be replaced by a terminal blush. "Don't believe her, Kiba-kun! Nothing happened! All Mana-chan and we did was kiss, I swear!"

Kiba nearly choked on his tongue. "K-kiss?"

The two boys stared at the blonde girl. She winked at them, twirling her staff and posing cutely– and provocatively.

"Our teammate is a lesbian," Shino said.

Kiba grinned widely. "Cool!"

Another flash, and Yami was back. "Bisexual, actually," she said, grinning mischievously.

"Even better!"

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Harry followed Anko into the Forest of Death, which in his opinion was very well named. It felt like someone had taken a slice of the Forbidden Forest around Hogwarts and blown it up to humongous proportions.

He needed to Apparate a lot to keep up with her, as he was constantly falling behind, and she wasn't inclined to slowly down or wait. She said Orochimaru was there, and Harry had no choice but to follow. They were traveling high above the ground, so he couldn't use the _Shukuchi_ to move at high speed since places to put his feet were too far apart to maintain the technique. Instead, he was using what he could of the _Hiten Mitsurugi_'s god-like speed, which wasn't getting him to go as fast as he would have liked since he really didn't have that long of a runway, but it was better than trying to S_hukuchi_. At least he got somewhere.

Losing track of Anko again, he muttered a curse under his breath as he prepared to Apparate once more. "What is that woman's problem?" he muttered.

_She wants to try to kill her former teacher,_ Kenshin said. _I've had enough experience with people out for revenge to know they're usually not thinking straight._

_She expects to kill him herself,_ Sojiro agreed.

_Idiot_, was Shishio's assessment.

The three were in perfect agreement as Harry popped out.

Harry found Anko in quite the position. How she managed to stab her hand into a tree, he and the others had no idea, but it didn't look fun. Shifting his attention, Harry stared at the man who was currently stroking Anko's cheek. He looked the worse for wear, with leaves in his hair and numerous cuts on his clothes. There was something about him…

Snake-like, Harry decided. The way he moved was snake-like.

_Orochimaru?_ he polled.

_Probably_, was the verdict. If Anko's look of contempt wasn't enough, she'd just called him by name.

Smiling grimly, Harry placed his hand on the sakabatou….

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Orochimaru had a split second's warning before a blade suddenly occupied the spot where his head had been before he managed to flip back, more out of instinct than anything else. Getting to his feet, he stared at the figure suddenly standing protectively in front of his former student, holding a sword in one hand. A description in a rumor he'd read in a report came to mind…

His eyes widened. _This_ was the Raikiri Battousai? One thing was for sure, he was no tourist. He'd nearly taken the Sannin's head with that sword.

"Orochimaru?" the Raikiri said. "I have some questions for you. Namely, where is your cousin?"

Orochimaru's eyes widened, then narrowed at the new information. The Raikiri knew Voldemort? Did that mean he was a wizard? Orochimaru focused on the man before him, trying to look for clues, looking underneath the underneath as he'd been taught. A scar caught his eye…

"Harry Potter," he said, managing to keep a straight face, which for him meant a sneer. _This_ was the guy who'd nearly killed Voldemort? Oh, his cousin was in trouble, neglecting to mention the boy was a swordsman….

"Voldemort's been talking, I see," the boy, Harry Potter, said evenly, never once lowering his sword. "Mind telling me where he is? I have a conversation with him I want to finish."

Orochimaru smiled. "Sorry, I'm not in the habit of telling people what they want to know."

An arched eyebrow. "Then I'll bash it out of you," the boy said.

He took one step, flickered, and disappeared….

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Haku bounced through the trees, followed closely by Setsuna and another succubus named Nagase Kaede. Setsuna had recommended Kaede for her ninja skills, and Haku had been impressed enough by her abilities to decide that using her was worth a shred of his dignity. Kaede's clothing _looked_ like ninja-wear, with lots of black fishnets, but it was as revealing as all the other Succubi's outfits. Her black wings were currently spread wide as she flew after Haku and Setsuna.

Settling on a high branch, Haku raised his hand to signal a stop, watching the scene below them. The three Sound-nins were looking down at Sakura, who seemed to be having a little trouble staying awake as she watched over the unconscious bodies of Naruto and Sasuke.

Haku frowned beneath his mask. He'd already gotten his scroll, and only had to head on over to the tower so he could pass this part of the exam, but…Team Seven were his friends.

Making a quick decision, Haku motioned for his team of Succubi to spread out and be ready to cover the Sound-nin, while he made his own preparations. A few hours wouldn't hurt. They still had a couple of days before the exam ended. He could burn time helping his friends. No rule against it, after all….

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Sakura stifled a yawn, wishing Yue were around to keep her company. Kero was as asleep as Natuo and Sasuke, even though the Sun Guardian was supposed to be taking this shift of the watch with her.

Idly, she threw a kunai to keep a squirrel from getting into the ground-zero of the trap they'd set up. Idly, she noted the _kibaku fuda_ plastered on the animal's back, and felt a flash of anger at the Sound-nin who'd put it there. She was very tempted to have The Wood wack them silly for turning a poor, defenseless animal into a mobile bomb, but retrained herself. She knew Lee was close by, knew he'd probably find the squirrel before it went Ka-blooey!

Sighing, she resigned herself to waiting for her teammates to wake up. MAN, could they sleep!

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Orochimaru wasn't able to dodge this time as the boy appeared out of the air yet again, that damned sword of his clipping his right shoulder and nearly breaking the bone. At first, he'd thought he wouldn't have to worry since the boy was using a reversed-edge sword, but somehow that sword kept cutting through his _kunai_! With the _blunt_ side!

Orochimaru was already sporting more cuts and bruises in his body now than he had in the past five years. It wasn't like he couldn't hit the boy, but he kept disappearing like that, and when he did appear, he moved so was Orochimaru didn't think he could track him with a _Sharingan_!

To make matters worse, Anko had managed to recover from the pain of the Curse Seal, and although she wasn't quite up to full strength, they were easily routing him with their teamwork. Cursing, Orochimaru turned to make his first retreat in years. Any other time, he would have been able to handle them– probably: he _knew_ he could take Anko– but right now he wasn't at his best. Sending multiple snakes from his sleeves flying after Anko to provide a distraction, he turned and ran…

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Sakura cut off her hair, sending the Sound girl tumbling back as she lost her grip. Well, at least her hair was short again. She'd been meaning to get a haircut since she got her memories back, but somehow, this wasn't how she pictured it. Glancing towards Kero, Naruto and Sasuke, she sighed. They were _still_ asleep! She knew she shouldn't have used The Silence to give them some peace and quiet.

Lee was still down, but fortunately, the Sound genin weren't focusing on him. With his inner ears messed up, he wasn't much of a threat. They'd save him for later.

Jumping to get herself some room, Sakura was just about to pull out one of her Cards when….

"TWELVE WINGS OF THE EXPLOSIVE DRAGON!"

Explosions rocked the clearing as Team Ten suddenly charged into the fray, Ino in the lead holding an orange-gold sword. Sakura felt it positively reeking with magic. The soul in it was lending power to Ino, she could feel. Hmm… she'd have to talk to that soul later on, if possible. But for now…

"Power Card!"

Right now, she'd show these Sound pests why they shouldn't mess with the Mistress of the Cards!

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Zaku, Dosu and Kin were all slowly realizing that they were in deep shit. The pink-haired kunoichi was suddenly strong enough to punch twenty feet wide craters into the ground, the blonde with the sword kept bombing them, the pineapple-headed kid would occasionally posses them and make them a target-

"SHINMEI RYU, SPECIAL TECHNIQUE: MAGNIFICENT SWORD! CHAOS OF A HUNDRED FLOWERS!"

"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"

"SENSATSU SUISHO!"

The three barely managed to dodge the sword technique and water needles. The shadow clones, they couldn't dodge at all.

"Hello, Sakura-chan," Haku greeted, nodding towards the Card Mistress.

She waved a hand in greeting. "Hey, Haku," she said, quirking an eyebrow. "Um, aren't you taking this test alone? Who are your friends?"

Haku gestured. "Sakurazaki Setsuna," the one with the really long sword inclined her head in Sakura's direction, "and Nagase Kaede," all the shadow clones who weren't too busy keeping the Sound-nin still waved.

Sakura raised an eyebrow, leaning towards Haku to whisper in his ear. "Succubi?"

Haku twitched, telling Sakura all. She grinned. "Why, Haku, you sly dog you. I didn't realize you were _that_ good in bed!"

"We're not sure yet," one of the Kaede clones said. "We haven't gotten him _into_ bed yet."

"Can we not talk about this?" Haku muttered, refusing to make eye-contact.

As one, Sakura, the now-recovered Lee, Team Ten and Team Haku surrounded the Sound genin, who gulped collectively, eyeing the forces arrayed against them. Chouji and Shikamaru had their family-_jutsu_ ready, Ino was hefting her sword, which had just shifted into a humongous blade on par with Zabuza's Cleaver, Sakura casually crushed a rock in her fist, Setsuna hadn't dropped her guard at all, and Haku had readied himself to use his Makyo Hyosho. "We'll make you a deal," Sakura said, idly grinding the rock into smaller and smaller pieces as the Sound genin watched in morbid fascination. "You leave us your scroll, we let you go without breaking every bone in your bodies. Deal?"

The three looked around once more, and gulped….

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– **To be continued…**

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A/N: can you say 'out-classed'? -_snicker_-

Imagine Ino with Elie's rack…

I wanted to cut it off when Harry met Orochi, but I knew that a lot of you would be after my blood, screaming bloody murder if I did that, so I didn't do it….

Kaede is wearing Ayame's 'sexy armor' from _Tenchu 2_.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	9. Rave Master Versus Card Mistress

A/N: finally, the Chuunin elimination bouts.

Shikamaru's, Zaku's and Gaara's fights won't change, so I'm not writing them down. As I don't know the order the fights went, or rather, I don't remember, please be lenient.

By the way, why so few reviews for last chap? –_eyes begin to water_- what's the matter? Don't you guys like me any more?

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 9: Rave Master Versus Card Mistress

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.

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The Genins all obediently stood in formation as the Hokage made his speech. The Sound trio were still eyeing the other teams warily, flinching whenever Ino or Sakura looked at them. The two kept doing it a lot, and having a hard time keeping their faces straight. It was so much fun, messing with their heads.

Kabuto was wondering why Orochimaru didn't look so good. The man, though disguised, looked like he'd been slammed into a tree. Repeatedly.

Standing with the other jounin were Harry and Zabuza. Zabuza was proud and showing it. His only student had managed to get through the Forest all by himself. Well, there were the summons, but no one really counted them.

Harry waved subtly at Temari, who winked at him.

When Hayate came up and asked if anyone wanted to quit, Kabuto was about to raise his hand– again– when a subtle signal from Orochimaru stopped him. Ah, of course. The Mist boy. They had no information on him yet. Fighting him during the eliminations would be the only time Kabuto would be able to gather any.

He hoped it wouldn't hurt _too_ much, letting himself get beaten….

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"Hey, Ino, wait up!"

Ino turned around, watching as Sakura jogged toward her. She looked good with her hair short again, Ino thought. Although it would look nicer if it were brown… with ribbons… and Sakura wasn't wearing anything…

Ino barely resisted the urge to beat her head against the wall at the perverted thoughts. Seriously, why was she thinking of Sakura like that? SASUKE! _SASUKE _was the one she had perverted thoughts about!

Ignoring Elie's insane giggling, Ino plastered a smirk on her face. "What is it, forehead-girl? Are here to concede that you have no chance against me with Sasuke?"

To Ino's surprise, Sakura merely rolled her eyes. "Hardly. Can I see your sword? Just a sec? Please?"

Her sword? Ever since Ino had gotten it, she'd _never_ let anyone else touch it. It was hers, after all. The Rave Master's.

"Um, sure…" Ino said, wondering why she was agreeing. Pulling it off the harness on her back with one smooth motion, she held it horizontal in front of her. Her hand didn't shake at all.

Her mouth open in a silent 'oh', Sakura gently reached for the sword, taking it into her hands. "Woah! Powerful stuff. And you can use it?"

"Of course!" Ino boasted.

Sakura just nodded, eye getting a slightly glazed look. "Hmm. Hey, I'm Sakura. What's your name?"

_Whah…?_ was Elie's response as she and Ino reeled back from shock. Was Sakura actually talking to her? _Um, Resha Valentine? But I changed my name to Elie Glory after I got married._

Sakura smiled. "Nice to meet you, Glory-san. Are you the powerful soul who's been helping Ino out?"

_Um, who else would there be?_ Elie answered, getting weirded out. Ino was feeling pretty much the same.

Sakura smiled serenely. "Well, take care of her. We wouldn't want anything to happen to that beautiful face of hers." This with a sly wink at Ino, confusing the blonde even more. Turning, Sakura skipped off to join her team, sashaying her hips from side to side, trapping Ino's gaze.

Ino and Elie stood silently in shock for a few moments.

_Did Sakura just **hit on me**?_ Ino said.

_Looks like it,_ Elie said.

Ino decided things were getting a little too weird for her.

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"Uchiha Sasuke versus Akado Yoroi," Hayate said, coughing. "Begin!"

_Puny ningen_, Sesshomaru said disdainfully. Sasuke ignored him, pulling out _Tokijin_. At least he didn't have to fight that Sand girl, Temari. He had a feeling Sesshomaru wouldn't help him against Kagura's freind. Gripping the sword, he felt the essence of Goshinki trying to sear his mind, held at bay by Sesshomaru. The youkai's power had grown greatly since the two halves of his soul had merged, and still growing. And, for the moment, he was letting Sasuke use it.

Sasuke restrained the urge to grin.

Yoroi was just getting ready to attack when he got hit by a boatload of demonic aura, burning his chakra system from the inside as his _jutsu_ absorbed some of the energy, sending him reeling in pain even as he was blasted back into the _very_ far wall. Collapsing from the impact crater on the wall, the man fell bonelessly to the floor, limbs twitching in pain.

Sniffing in disdain, Sasuke sheathed his sword. There would be no need to do more.

Cough. "The winner is Uchiha Sasuke!"

Like that was a big surprise.

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Next to the Hokage, Harry was staring at what Sasuke had done. So were Shishio, Kenshin and Sojiro, for that matter.

_That sword is possessed, _Kenshin said.

_We noticed,_ Shishio said.

_Did you feel that?_ Sojiro said. _It didn't feel… human._

_No,_ Kenshin agreed. _It felt kind of like Haku's succubi… only stronger. Much stronger. _

_Should I be worried?_ Harry said.

_Not unless Sasuke becomes your enemy_, Kenshin said.

Harry prayed that was true.

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Temari stepped down to the floor as her name was called. Opposite her, the guy wearing sunglasses and a coat did the same, inclining his head towards her slightly. She smirked back, her eyes flicking towards where Harry was. A small ball of nervousness formed in her stomach. She really hoped she didn't mess up with her him watching. Kagura whispered words of encouragement, which she drank in like water to a sponge.

Facing him, Temari considered her opponent. He had no visible weapons, which was always the worst kind of opponent to have. You never knew when he'd pull something special out of the blue. It was one thing she disliked about her fan. Although deadly at nearly all ranges, it couldn't be hidden, immediately letting your enemy know what you'd be hitting them with. It's intimidation value wasn't enough to offset that disadvantage, since an experienced fighter wouldn't let something like the size of a weapon unbalance them.

"Begin!" the examiner said.

Quickly, Temari pulled out her fan, opening it to the first dot. When you had the visible weapon, whose usage was obvious, be the first to use it. You've already lost the element of surprise: go for the first strike.

Swinging it, Temari sent a blast of wind towards the boy, who dodged nimbly. So, he'd been expecting it. Kami, she hated it when people used her weapon against her. Sure, after a certain point, them knowing became useless, but initially, it's always demoralizing.

_Cheer up,_ Kagura said slyly. _You still have me…_

It took Temari a moment to realize what thee spirit was talking about, and when she did, she started grinning maniacally. Her face was turned away from Harry, so he didn't notice, but Kankuro and Gaara did, and immediately got nervous.

Flipping her fan open all the way, she quietly palmed Kagura's fan, hiding it behind her own. Blasting at the boy with the _Kamaitachi_, she watched as he was sent into the air, then quickly flicked open Kagura's fan, still hidden, and sent a very small _Ryuja no Mai_ flying after the boy, spinning him a round, flicking bugs of his body and eventually sending him crashing into a wall. He twitched, them lay still.

Hayate checked to see if he was still alive, then stood. "The winner is Temari of the Sand!"

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_She did it too,_ Sojiro said.

_Yeah…_ Kenshin agreed.

_Should we tell Harry?_

The three 'watched' as Harry applauded, grinning at the quick victory of his 'summer romance girlfriend'.

_Not yet._

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Tenten overwhelmed Dosu with weapons from all directions. With his one-arm handicap, she beat him easily.

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_No 'help' there, right?_ Harry asked.

_None,_ Kenshin and Sojiro chorused.

_Oh, good._

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Ino looked at the board. Yup, definitely her against Sakura. She was about to turn and taunt her opponent, but the pink-haired girl was already on her way down the stares. Pursing her lips in annoyance. Ino made to follow her–

–and suddenly shrieked and turned around, seeting in anger. "ALRIGHT! WHICH OF YOU PERVERTS GROPED MY ASS?"

There was general denial all around as Ino glared at all the boys in turn. Well, except for Sasuke, anyway. If _he_ did it, it was perfectly alright. Frowning, she turned to Hinata. She could trust a girl, after all. "Hey, Hinata, did you see which of these perverts did it?" Ino said, ignoring the next round of denials.

Hinata blushed, pushing her fingers together and refusing to meet her eye. Probably embarrassed about the subject, poor thing. "Sorry, Ino-san. I didn't see anyone."

Ino growled once more at the assembled. Males. "I'll sort you guys out after I beat Sakura," she promised, before turning around and following after said girl.

Inside the Millennium puzzle, Yami had a cross between a lecherous grin and a satisfied smile on her face. _That blonde's butt ain't bad, but she's no Naruto **or** Mana. Give me those two any day. Still, it was a nice snack. Variety is good, you know?_

Hinata was too busy trying not to look guilty or blush to answer. What is it with Yami and her fetishes?

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"Are you two ready?" Hayate asked the two kunoichi.

Sakura just nodded. Ino grinned, reaching behind her to grip the hilt of her sword. "Get on with it!"

Hayate nodded, raising his hand. "FIGHT!"

Kero grumbled in Hinata's arms. He did _not_ like watching from the sidelines while his Mistress went up against a sword taller than _she _was!

Ino charged at Sakura with the Ten Commandments in it's Eisenmeteor setting, cracking the ground heavily as Sakura bounced away even as she drew a sword from her pouch. Landing on her feet, Sakura immediately flicked the Card into the air, then slammed down her wand. "SWORD CARD!"

The wand transfigured itself into a slim and elegant blade, looking for all the world like a toothpick compared to Ino's Musica-forged monster.

Ino smirked. "Good trick, Sakura, but your not the only one with tricks. Sylpholion!"

With that, Ino flicked her wrist, sending the sword shifting it's form into a much shorter, slimmer and lighter balde, with a vaguely fluid-like blue hand-guard and a seemingly cut-off blade. Taking a step, Ino charged at Sakura with a speed that had Harry and all the jounin staring. Sakura barely managed to bring her guard up at the sudden attack, her own sword barely managing to keep up with Ino's nearly-sonic movements.

Surprisingly, Sakura was grinning. "Taking my request to keep anything from happening to Ino's beautiful face seriously, huh Glory-san?" she said as she parried a stab that would have ripped a wide hole open on her side. "Well, I don't really blame you two for being enthusiastic. Tomoyo-chan always put everything she had into something. Isn't that right, _kitten?_"

Ino nearly stumbled at the triple jab, almost slamming into a wall at high speed when Sakura neatly side-stepped her. She didn't care. "HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THOSE NAMES?" she shouted.

Sakura smiled an infuriating smile. The name 'Eriol' briefly flitted through Ino's brain. "That's my little secret, sweet singer," Sakura jabbed.

Ino growled. "WHAT DO YOU KNOW?" Ino yelled, shifting to Blue Crimson and charging at Sakura with the twin blades.

"A lot, _Tomoyo-chan_," Sakura said, emphasizing the word. "I'm different now. So are you. I'm not who I was. I'm currently reconciling with who I used to be." All this while dodging Ino's maddened slashes with a little help from The Dash Card. "Do you want help setting your memories back in order?"

Ino froze. "**How do you know about that?**"

Sakura flickered, disappearing and reappearing behind Ino– more help from The Dash Card, boosted by her ninja conditioning and chakra. Sakura whispered in Ino's ear. "I am the Mistress of the Cards. You of all people should know what that means… _koibito_."

_This is getting freaky,_ Elie said.

Ino responded by spinning around, trying to hit Sakura, but her blades just cut into the log Sakura used for her Kawarimi. Snarling, Ino switched to Melforce. The wind in the room began to move, rising to gale-force winds in nothing flat, with Ino in the eye of it all.

"Windy Card!" a voice called from out of the storm, and the yellow sprite began to counteract Ino's actions. It took Ino a moment to realize the voice was still behind her. She spun, but yellow threads ripped her sword from her hands. Defenseless, she barely had time to blink as she saw Sakura's face looming over her, coming closer and closer and…

OH!

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In the sidelines, everyone stared.

Naruto and Sasuke twitched as they saw what their teammate was doing.

Yami took this opportunity to take control. "WAY TO GO, SAKURA! SHOW THAT BLONDE WHO'S BOSS!"

Yami then retreated, leaving Hinata to blush at the looks she got from that outburst and thinking she _really_ should investigate that invisibility _jutsu_….

Lee, Shikamaru and Chouji were blushing their heads off, while Kankuro and the Sound-nin made catcalls.

Harry took it all in stride. He'd seen Hermione and Ginny be friskier, after all.

A heartbeat, and then a circle appeared under the two kunoichi, a golden circle of power. On one end was a sun, on the other a moon. Between the two and directly beneath the two girls was a gigantic star.

At that, the hairs on the back of Harry's neck stood on end. This was magic. Powerful magic. _Extremely_ powerful magic. Kagura, Sesshomaru, Inu-Yasha, Shishio, Sojiro Kenshin, Sano, Zack, and Yami all felt restless, feeling such power close by.

Just what was going on?

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When Sakura's lips pressed against her own, Ino had initially stiffened, simultaneously disgusted and excited at what Sakura was doing. She tried to draw back even as a part of her started to reciprocate. A not-so-distant corner of her mind was screaming at the perversion of it all, that she belonged to Sasuke and only Sasuke; another was dipping into the still messed-up past life memories and comparing this to another girl named Sakura.

Then the magic circle had appeared, and power seemed to course into her through her mouth. All of a sudden, the memories inside her started making sense, taking on order and meaning, becoming true remembrances instead of just disorderly snippets.

She went limp in Sakura's arms, becoming compliant as the other kunoichi deepened the kiss, sinking into the memories. She saw herself filming Sakura as she flew on The Fly Card for the first time. She saw herself make Syaoran promise to marry her if he didn't find the one he loved. She saw herself advising Syaoran on how to tell Sakura how he felt about her. She saw herself crying in Tomoyo's arms after Syaoran told her he loved someone else. She saw herself holding Meilin as she cried. She saw herself making costumes. She saw herself making plans. She saw herself telling Sakura she loved her during the bachelorette party before the wedding. She saw herself coming on to Syaoran. Getting drunk or already being drunk and sex followed…

Ino's eyes snapped open again, only to close once more as she started pressing against Sakura, finally putting her back into responding to the kiss. Her arms rose and wrapped themselves around Sakura's shoulders as she moaned with pleasure, the first _real_ pleasure she's felt in this lifetime. Sakura began kissing back, harder, and she reciprocated…

The two ignored the fact that they were currently supposed to be in the middle of the chuunin exam eliminations and that there was a large crowd of people watching.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the two parted lips, both gasping for air. Ino looked at Sakura, recognition in her eyes, recognition and something else. Her eyes were softer somehow, gentler, loving. "Sakura-chan…" she breathed, finally really recognizing the girl before her.

Sakura smiled as well. "Tomoyo-chan…"

Ino's eyes changed, becoming steely all of a sudden. Without warning, she rapped her knuckles on Sakura's head.

"Hoe…" Sakura said, rubbing the spot.

"What was the big idea of making me wait, Kinimoto?" Ino said, looking slightly annoyed. "Sheesh, you should have done that sooner!"

Sakura blinked at the seemingly irate blonde, who had her hands at her hips and tapping her foot in annoyance. Something about the stance and eyes tickled something in Sakura's brain. "Meiling-chan?"

Ino '_pft_''-ed. "About time you picked up on that, Kinomoto. I can't believe you forgot about me! _I _made you moan louder than I- I mean, _Meilin _made you moan louder than _Tomoyo_ did!"

Sakura rubbed the back of her head. ""Eh, heh… sorry Meiling-chan…"

A change of the eyes. "That's alright!" Ino said, clasping her hands in front of her considerable chest, stars and hearts in her eyes, her expression worshipful. "I'm reunited with my beloved Sakura-chan again! Now I can tell people how great you are, and make you clothes, and film you, and–"

"HEY!" Hayate interrupted, coughing. "You're in the middle of an exam, remember?"

The two looked at him, then at each other. They nodded their heads. "We forfeit!" they chorused.

Everyone, with the sole exception of Harry, facefaulted. "HUH?"

Ino gestured at Sakura, that weird expression still on her face. "Just look at her! How can I bring myself to harm such a perfect, beautiful face? I can't do it! I just can't do it!" Ino declared.

"Tomoyo-chan…" Sakura murmured, blushing, a sweat drop on her head. Some things just never changed.

Ino retrieved her sword and the two went back up to the balconies arm in arm, Sakura's head on Ino's shoulder, and Ino's arm wrapped around the other girl's waist. The two kept on looking at each other lovingly, seemingly oblivious to the stares they were garnering.

Naruto broke the silence first. "So does this mean the two of you are going to stop going after Sasuke?"

The two kunoichi looked at each other before breaking into identical mischievous grins. "Who said anything about _that_?" Ino said, and the two sent Sasuke hungry looks.

He tried to ignore them, but couldn't stop himself from shuddering. Inside, Sesshomaru felt a sinking feeling where he remembered his stomach was supposed to be.

Hinata suddenly grinned at the two of them, giving them a thumbs-up sign. "I congratulate you two, Ino, Sakura! Your selfless and devoted love to each other is an inspiration to us all!"

On Lee and Gai, that pose was 'good guy'. Strangely, on Hinata, it was all 'bad girl'. Everyone gaped at her and she suddenly blushed, seemingly trying to disappear into her black coat as she twiddled her fingers together, muttering, "Anyway, congratulations," under her breath.

Ino snapped out of it first as the big board started randomly pulling out names again. "Now, where was I? Oh yeah… WHICH ONE OF YOU GUYS GROPED MY ASS?"

"**_WHAT!_**" Sakura screamed in indignation at the thought of someone having the audacity to touch her girlfriend's derrière. That was for **_HER_**, darn it! Well, her and Sasuke….

Neji sniffed in disdain. "Enough of this," the imperious Hyuuga said. "The next match is up."

Everyone starred at the board.

Hyuuga Hinata versus Hyuuga Neji.

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Hinata paled.

Inside, Yami grinned maliciously.

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Some are long, some are short. It all depended on the mood that hit me. I originally to have all the fights in this chapter, but decided the Ino/Saku fight was enough of a high point.

I've posted Bios and extra bonus information on the Raikiri Triken forum. Just go to my Profile page and click 'forums' to see them. Tell me what you think and any suggestions you might have.

Next chap, HINATA KICKS NEJI'S ASS!

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	10. HINATA KICKS NEJI'S ASS!

A/N: Finally, the long-awaited Hyuuga bout…

Mush warning! Seriously, those who gag at the smallest hint of romance have been warned.

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 10: **_HINATA KICKS NEJI'S ASS!_**

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.

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Yami growled as Neji went through a speech. Something about fate and people cannot change, yadda yadda yadda. She really didn't mind listening to it. In fact, she found the speech rather amusing, as well as ironic. Wasn't the Main House supposed to be stronger than the Branch House?

The speech, however, was having a very adverse effect on her _aibo_. That was all she needed to stop being amused and start being pissed. She tried talking to Hinata, but her light was mesmerized by what Neji was saying, and she really didn't think taking control of their body would be any help. She grew more alarmed as she sensed Hinata coming closer to a nervous breakdown. Was she starting to cry? Yami went from pissed to raging.

Then someone yelled at Hinata to stand up for herself.

Yami felt Hinata's astonishment as they both realized who it was who was defending her.

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Harry did nothing to keep the approving smile on his face as the loudmouthed blond started cheering for the small, indigo-haired girl. Her opponent– which he'd picked up was her _cousin_, for crying out loud!– had really been getting on his nerves with that speech of his. It sounded too much like Malfoy's pureblood-ism.

On the spur of the moment, Harry moved from where he was standing next to Anko and the Hokage and _Shukuchi_-ed over next to Zabuza, startling those around him who wasn't used to Harry's speed. He startled Zabuza himself, for that matter.

The missing-nin raised an eyebrow at him. "What do _you_ want?"

Harry smiled, making sure to let his voice carry. "Care to make a bet?"

Zabuza looked over at the field, where Naruto was still yelling, Hinata was listening, and Neji was annoyed. "On the match? Sure, why not."

Harry nodded. "One thousand on the girl."

He made sure to make that carry.

Everyone in hearing range blinked.

Zabuza smirked. "You're on."

That quickly, people started placing their bets. Naruto bet on Hinata.

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Yami heard the bet. More importantly, _Hinata_ heard the bet.

_Naruto-kun… feels confident enough of me that he's actually betting on me?_ Hinata thought in astonishment.

In an instant, the two were in the corridor between their Soul Rooms, facing each other. Immediately, Yami reached forward and held Hinata, stroking her hair comfortingly. "It would seem he is," Yami said, the only words at the moment that would do anything for Hinata's attitude. Pulling back slightly, she smiled down at her light, completely ignoring the fact Hinata was totally naked. "Let's not disappoint him, shall we?"

"H-hai!" Hinata said, a trembling smile on her lips.

Yami nodded, then suddenly grinned maliciously. "Our ass of a cousin is never going to know what hit 'em."

At this, Hinata pursed her lips. "Yami…"

"Yes, _aibo_?"

"Please, let me fight Neji on my own."

Yami blinked in surprise. "WHAT?"

Hinata looked up at the incarnation of her darkness. It's strange, thinking of a facet of yourself as a different being altogether. But then, technically, Yami was. "I want to beat Neji on my own. Please Yami."

Yami pursed her lips. "_Aibo_," she began, "I can't just stand around and watch. I'm you too. You're not the only one who wants a piece of _dear cousin_ Neji. If you get in trouble… I _will_ come to protect you. I can do no less."

Yami then grinned, one she probably picked up from Kiba. "Besides, you're not the only one who wants a piece of him."

But Hinata shook her head. "_I'm_ fighting him, Yami. Alone. Please?"

Yami frowned. "No promises."

Hinata knew that was the most she'd get.

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Neji slid into a jyuuken stance, Byakugan active, watching Hinata warily. The girl seemed to have somehow recovered from her near-breakdown experience. A pity. It would have made things so much easier.

Hinata shed her black trench coat, revealing what she was wearing underneath. Tight black leather pants, fishnet shirt, a leather breastplate covering her chest. Multiple belts with pouches at her hips. Buckles at her biceps, plus lots more on her forearms, thick enough to look like bracers. It clashed horribly with her blush, but she bore herself proudly. Neji figured it was more pride than she'd ever used in her life, wondering how long before Hinata died of embarrassment.

The upside-down golden pyramid hanging from Hinata's neck puzzled the Hyuuga genius, though. Where had Hinata gotten that?

The examiner looked at the two of them, before chopping his hand in the air. "Begin!"

Neji tried one last time. "You sure you don' t want to forfeit, cousin?"

Surprisingly, Hinata just looked determined. One hand was reaching into one of the pouches at her waist. "No," the Hyuuga princess said simply.

Neji tensed as Hinata reached inside and pulled out…

A card?

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Hinata grasped the Millennium Puzzle in one hand as she raised the Magic Card she held in the other, closing her eyes in concentration. "Power of the Shadow Realm, here my call! De-Fusion!"

The Millennium Puzzle glowed slightly as Hinata used the power of the Magic Card on herself.

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Everyone blinked as Hinata seemed to glow slightly, before the glow split, and suddenly there were _two_ Hinatas on the field.

Everyone blinked again and rubbed their eyes. Yup, still two Hinatas.

One Hinata wore the golden pyramid around her neck, and looked to be trying to avoid notice. The other seemed he complete opposite. She stood tall and proud, one hand on her hip, said hip thrust to the side provocatively. Her eyes held an arrogance that matched Neji's measure for measure– at least!

"What is this?" Neji said, turning towards Hayate. "Is that allowed?"

Hayate looked at the two identical girls inquiringly.

The other Hinata shrugged, her voice laced with pride and confidence. "Summons and animals are considered weapons, are they not? Well, I'm technically Hinata-chan's summon. Deal with it." That last was directed with a sneer at Neji.

Neji sniffed in derision as Hayate declared that this was allowed by the rules. "You're pathetic, cousin. Summoning a creature to do your fighting? You are a disgrace to the Hyuuga name."

"WHY YOU LITTLE–!" the other Hinata yelled, clenching her fists as veins suddenly erupted around her eyes in the manner of the active Byakugan. She took a step towards Neji, but was halted by Hinata's– the _other_, other Hinata, anyway, the one wearing the pyramid– hand on her shoulder.

"No, Yami," Hinata said, giving the now-identified Yami the Hinata equivalent of a stern look– which meant she still looked cute as a button. "I said I was fighting Neji by myself. You said you'd stay out of the way."

Yami sniffed in Neji's general direction, but grudgingly turned away, picking up the trench coat on the ground. "No promises, Hinata-chan," she said, walking to where she would be out of the way. She paused a moment, before a wide grin split her face. "Could you call up Mana-chan? She'd like to see your match, and I could use the company."

For some reason, the pyramid-wearing Hinata's face grew red, but she drew out another card from a belt pouch. "Come forth, Mana, the Dark Magician Girl," Hinata intoned.

A black hole in the ground opened, and the Dark Magician Girl suddenly popped out of the hole, in all her blonde, blue-eyed, busty, scantily dressed glory. Her gaze immediately locked on to Hinata. "HINATA-CHAN!" she cried, grabbing Hinata into a tight, affectionate hug, which happened to mash the young girl's face into the quite sizable cleavage. Said girl was blushing like crazy and gasping for air.

"Uh, Mana-chan," Yami said, chuckling under her breath. "I think Hinata-chan needs to breathe."

Mana started. Hinata was looking like a tomato and nearly asphyxiated. "Oh, Hinata-chan, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?"

"Fine," Hinata mumbled, trying to get back on her feet and get her blushing under control.

"This way, Mana-chan," Yami directed, gesturing for her to move to the side. "Hinata has to fight her ass of a cousin now, and she doesn't want anyone interfering."

Mana looked between Neji and Hinata. She knelt down and kissed Hinata gently on the lips. "Give him hell from me, Hinata-chan," she said, tapping Hinata's nose cutely. Said ninja was blushing like crazy all over again.

The two former Egyptians sat down off to the side, Yami curled up in Mana's lap and her head on the latter's chest. Despite her calm and relaxed façade, Hinata knew it was all Yami could do not to come running next to her.

Activating her Byakugan, Hinata turned to face Neji. "Let's do this, cousin."

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Yami and Mana were barely able to keep themselves in check as Neji relentlessly pummeled Hinata. Yami's Byakugan had activated under her intense emotions, and she could clearly see every burst of chakra Neji sent into Hinata's system. A part of her that wasn't slowly and surely falling into a rage took note of them. The rest started thinking of how to give Neji the most pain possible.

Neji struck Hinata's chest, a burst of chakra blasting into Hinata's already much abused system, and Yami saw red.

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Hinata dropped to her knees, coughing blood out of her lungs. She couldn't give up. Naruto was counting on her! She couldn't…

Neji made to strike one more time, but at the last minute, the genius suddenly drew back as the space where he would have been was suddenly occupied by _kunai_ and _shuriken_. Whirling, Neji turned towards where they had come from.

Yami had stood up, a _kunai_ lightly bouncing on her palm. Behind her, Mana was glaring, looking on the edge of barely restrained violence. Neji scowled at the interference. "Don't interfere. This isn't your fight."

Yami grinned ferally. "I beg to differ. Mana-chan was summoned by Hinata. That makes her Hinata's weapon. That makes her a part of this fight. As for me…" The grin got wider. Those in the sidelines suddenly felt a chill go up their spines. "I am a part of Hinata. This is as much my fight as it is hers."

"What the heck are you talking about?" Neji demanded.

Yami gazed at him coolly, and Neji's blood started to boil. That look was one that obviously found him lacking. "I am Hinata's darkness, taken from her mind and given form by the De-Fusion. I am a part of her. I am the Darkness. She is the Light. We are Hinata."

Neji sniffed. "Whatever. I'm ending this now." With that, Neji charged at Hinata.

"SWORDS OF REVEALING LIGHT!" Yami yelled, and suddenly, glowing swords of light suddenly appeared out of thin air, entrapping Neji, who tried to avoid them. The swords wouldn't have any of it, however, and they all converged to pierce the Hyuuga's sides from all directions, holding said person immobile.

Yami seemed to sag as she put the Magic Card she'd snitched off Hinata away. "Those swords will hold you for three minutes," Yami said, as she started walking over towards a surprised Hinata, who was trying to get back up. "When it wears off, we fight."

"Yami-chan…" Hinata said weakly as her other half started helping her up, but Yami shushed her by the simple expedient of putting a finger on her lips.

"Hush, Hinata-chan. No promises, remember?" Yami interrupted as she helped her get to her feet. The Darkness placed a hand on the Millennium Puzzle. She felt a small charge of power flow into her. It would be enough for one Magic or Trap Card, and maybe a Monster, depending on how powerful it is. Reaching into Hinata's pouches, Yami extracted a couple of cards. "Here. Use this on yourself," she said, slipping one of the cards into Hinata's hand. She pocketed the other after priming it. "Mana-chan! Take care of Hinata-chan here!"

Mana nodded, not stopping her glaring at Neji as she stepped up next to Hinata and drew her to the side. Yami walked away, then paused. She turned back. "Hey, Hinata-chan, hold out you hand, will you?"

Confused, Hinata raised her hand.

Yami slapped her against it. "Tag. I'm it," she said, turning back around to face Neji, who was still stabbed all over by the Swords of Revealing Light. By her estimation, she had about two minutes left on the swords. Yami grinned. "I'm taking Hinata's place in this fight as the incarnation of her dark side. Any objections?"

Neji still managed to look arrogant while held in place like a fly in a spider's web. "Prove it," was the sneer.

Yami looked at Hayate, she shrugged. This was all a little over his head, but if it was true… "Can you prove you are a physical manifestation of Hinata's dark side?"

"Neji used to wet her bed until she was five years old," Yami said instantly.

Neji flushed in embarrassment. The audience, however, noticed something in that statement.

"HER?"

Yami evil-laughed. "It's one of the Hyuuga clan's deep, dark secrets. Its resident genius and prodigy, the greatest fighter the clan has produced to date, is actually a _girl_! Not many people know. I only found out because Neji happened to walk by a couple of days ago while I was using my Byakugan. In the clan register, she's officially listed as a boy."

Tenten, Lee and Gai were staring at their teammate in disbelief. Others boggled.

"So that's how he manages to look so pretty," Naruto said. "Hey, Sasuke, you wouldn't happen to be a girl too, would you?"

"Naruto!" was the twin cry as the Star Wand and Ten Commandments made contact with Naruto's head.

Harry idly wondered if Malfoy had really been a girl. The bastard had never been seen without a shirt on either…

Yami smirked knowingly. "What? Haven't any of you wondered why Neji never took her shirt off at training?"

Frowning, Hayate glanced at Neji.

"Let her fight," the now-revealed girl growled. "I'll kill her!"

Deciding that this violent reaction was an affirmative, Hayate nodded, coughing. "Very well. Fight continues."

At these words, Yami streaked forward, her fist slamming hard into Neji's stomach. It wasn't jyuuken: it was basic Iron Fist _taijutsu_. Neji, still trapped by the Swords of Revealing Light with about a minute and a half or so to go, was powerless to defend as Yami rained blow after blow on her immobile form. Neji bore it all stoically, not crying out. When the Swords flickered away, Yami's roundhouse kick sent her flying as she was finally released.

"Weak," Neji spat out as she got back to her feet. "You wasted an opportunity to use jyuuken when I was completely defenseless. A fatal mistake for you."

"It was intentional," Yami informed him arrogantly, and Neji grit her teeth. "I needed to relieve a little stress so I could fight you with a cool head, and you happened to be convenient."

Neji staggered to her feet, moving into a jyuuken stance, one that Yami copied.

"Yami…!" Hinata called out.

"Don't worry, Hinata-chan," Yami said, not turning to look at her, keeping her focus on Neji. "I'll be fine. It's my duty as your dark side to protect you, and that's what I'm going to do. Just sit back and relax."

Neji charged. Grinning, Yami followed suit.

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The fight was markedly different this time around. For one, Neji had just recently received a minute and a half long beating, which tends to do something to ones physical condition. She was slightly slower and weaker now, giving Yami an edge since she was still fresh. Neji was still giving as good as she got, however, her longer experience and slightly farther reach being exploited to the best of her ability. Yami had made sure to perfectly memorize the _tenketsu _points during the previous fight, however, and even if she did miss, this was jyuuken she was using, so a miss was nearly as good as a hit.

Everyone, most of whom no longer knew what was going on but weren't caring because it was such a good show, was watching intently, not bothering to wonder how Hinata had managed to summon her dark side– she _had_ one of those? Shocking!– to fight for her, or where the scantily clad blonde who was currently nursing her back to health with some kind of black magic had come from. Shino, Kiba and Kurenai, though having some idea that the other Hinata they talked to was the same one currently fighting Neji, weren't really sure how _that_ happened, so they just watched and cheered the two halves of their teammate. Kabuto was frantically trying to memorize as much as he could.

The two were nearly equal as they fought, and Neji had twice needed to resort to her _Kaiten_ to get away from Yami's strikes. On the third try, Yami mimicked it, and if it wasn't exactly perfect, she still managed to send Neji flying for a couple of feet.

Neji slowly got back to her feet as Yami stood where she had stopped spinning, a nearly arrogant, sneering smile on her face as she gazed down on Neji. Then her eyes widened as she realized Neji was now positioned between her and Hinata. She drew her _kunai_ and _shuriken_ and threw, but it was too late. Neji was already charging towards Hinata, her hands glowing with chakra.

Mana, unable to do anything since she currently had Hinata on her lap, frantically sent a Dark Magic Attack at Neji, who managed to dodge, a _kunai_ flying towards the sorceress, striking her open palm. Mana cried out, blood dripping from her hand, before she suddenly disappeared back into the darkness, leaving Hinata defenseless.

Time seemed to contract as Yami frantically threw the card she had palmed, priming it with the last of the Millennium Puzzle's energy she had. Neji's fist streaked toward Hinata's face, in a brutal combination of Iron Fist and Gentle Fist. Hinata started to see her life flash before her eyes, hearing the cries of the onlookers. She knew the jounin would be too far away…

Naruto…

The Trap Card struck Hinata and activated, a split second before Neji's fist connected.

Hinata was thrown back from the force of the blow, tumbling over on her side as she flew a good fifteen feet just as Yami sent the last of her throwing weapon's into Neji's blind spot. They struck true, causing blood to gush from the prodigy's back as Yami rushed around towards Hinata.

Neji winced as she tried to pull out the weapons on her back. It was done. That hit should have fried Hinata's brain, and at least give her a concussion. She sneered as she watched the so-called dark side rush towards her useless cousin's side. "It's no good. She's not dead, but she might as well be, if not going there."

Yami didn't even bother turning around as she pried out the card she'd given Hinata. She made a mental note to bop her _aibo_ one when she was healthier again. The girl hadn't even bothered to use it! "The trap has been activated," was all she said as she touched the Millennium Puzzle, drawing power from it and using that to Active 'Dian Keto the Curemaster'. Eight times, just to be sure.

Neji blinked, then started as slime suddenly began oozing out of thin air, flowing and shaping itself. Within moments, a watery-fluid Neji-shape was standing between her and the two.

"Neji-slime," Yami commanded, performing her sixth healing of Hinata, "attack the other piece of slime and give her the maximum amount of pain possible!"

"Yes, mistress," the Neji-slime said, speaking in Neji's voice. Tensing, it attacked, and Neji once more found herself being pressed hard, never mind the slime only had three-fourths of her abilities.

Hinata was still unconscious. Yami pursed her lips. If Hinata didn't wake up soon, there was a good chance they get disqualified. Frantically, she dipped into Hinata's pouches and pulled out the Revival Jam card, two Fusion cards and Jam Defender. Quickly, she summoned the Revival Jam, them primed the other three cards. Quickly, she set off one of the Fusion cards, turning the Neji-slime in the Eternal Neji-slime. This was followed by Jam Defender.

Yami nodded to herself. Good. A nearly solid– well, liquid, anyway– defense. Watching through the Byakugan as the Eternal Neji-slime determinedly kept the other Neji-slimeball away, Yami sent off a quick prayer and activated the second Fusion Card. If this worked, she'd only need a nano-second, not long enough to be disqualified for. Hopefully. Please?

The Light and Darkness of Hinata's soul fused back into one…

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Yami found Hinata curled up in the latter's Soul Room. The walls were dark, as if seen through a pure black mist, almost completely obscuring the images of Naruto from view.

Almost.

On the walls, the images of Naruto were frowning down on Hinata, and his wasn't the only one. Images of Hinata's father, teammates, and everyone Hinata knew stared down at her in disapproval, disgust and dismissal, so much so that if anyone had looked at them like that in the physical world, Yami would have taken over and practiced torturing on the poor soul in less than a heartbeat.

"_Aibo_?" Yami said as she entered, wishing she could do something about the incriminating stares. Sadly, this was Hinata's room, so no go. "Hinata-chan?"

Taking another step into the Soul Room, she paused, staring at Hinata's form. It was pure light, and even though it should have been shining brighter than the sun at noon, the light was dull, like a weak, aging bulb without the flickering. Okay, that was new. Reflexively, Yami looked down at her own body. It was purest darkness, clothed in her usual risqué garb. Well, that had never happened before. Must be the De-Fusion.

Even as she watched, what looked like small streaks of purple were flowing between her and Hinata. She was pretty sure they'd go back to looking like their usual selves soon. Still…

"Hinata-chan, you need to wake up," Yami said softly, as she knelt next to the curled up Hinata. "We're still in the chuunin exam, _aibo_. If you don't wake up, you'll get disqualified."

Hinata sniffed tearfully. "…weak, I'm so weak…"

"That's not true, Hinata-chan," Yami said gently, laying a hand on her Light's shoulder. Hinata flinched, and Yami drew back her hand hurriedly.

"…yes, it is…" Hinata murmured. "I wasn't even able to hit Neji-nesan. But you…"

A small smile appeared on Yami's face. "Hinata, I don't have a whit more or less skill than you do. I know only what you know. I'm capable only of what you're capable of. No more, no less. After all, I am your darkness. The darkness is only as strong as it's light. And you are very strong Hinata. That's how I was able to fight Neji. That's how _you_ were able to fight Neji. It was all by you own strength. Come back, Hinata. Wake up. We have the strength to beat Neji for good. But I need you to use it. Without your light, I am nothing."

Hinata opened her eyes, only to close them again as she saw that not-nearly-obscured-enough images. "What's the use…" Hinata said. "Everyone saw me fall. They must think so little of me. Naruto-kun…"

Yami felt her heart clench at those words. "Hinata, don't bring yourself down. Naruto doesn't think you're weak. _I_ don't think of you as weak." Weak? HAH! Hinata was the strongest person Yami knew.

"…how can he not?" Hinata said, tears budding from her tightly clenched eyes. "…he saw me beaten. NARUTO saw me beaten…"

Instincts still alive from when Yami had been a guy crept to the fore, and she had to clamp down hard to keep from spazzing like a mother hen. If there's one thing her once-male psyche couldn't stand, it was a crying female. With all the strength she muster, she reined the impulse in.

As gently as she could, Yami took hold of Hinata and pulled her up, resting the now quietly sobbing girl on her shoulder. Awkwardly, she patted Hinata on the back, trying her best to soothe the pain. "No one will think of you as weak, Hinata-chan," Yami said quietly. "No one. You went up against Neji– _without_ me, I might add, but we'll discuss that later. You did your best within the circumstances you were under. Hinabi couldn't have fought better. I know that in my heart. You are not weak."

"…they'll think I'm weak…" Hinata sobbed.

"Screw what they think!" Yami said, quietly but passionately. "If Naruto thinks you're weak after what you did– and he _won't_– then he's not worthy of our time."

When Hinata didn't respond, just kept on sobbing, Yami gently but firmly raised up her _aibo_'s head, making her meet her eyes. White eyes met white as light stared into dark. "Hinata-chan, whatever the _world_ thinks, _I_ will never think you're weak. Whatever happens, you'll always have me. I promise. I… I _love_ you, Hiinata-chan…"

One pair of white eyes widened in shock. "…you… _love_ me?"

Yami smiled tenderly. "I do, Hinata-chan. _I _love you. _Mana-chan_ loves you. And if we had our way, _Naruto_ will love you too. You will never be alone. You will never be unloved. Whatever happens, you will always have us. You have my word."

"…Y-yami…" Hinata stuttered.

"Shh…" Yami said, placing finger on Hinata's lip to silence her. Slowly, tenderly, she leaned down, her eyes closed…

After a moment, Hinata closed her eyes as well, and leaned forward…

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Hinata's eyes snapped open, her back going up instantly as she rose into an upright position. The Eternal Neji-slime was taking a beating, she saw. Had it not had the Revival Jam fused into it, it would have been so much protoplasm already. As it was, it looked noticeably worse for wear.

_We're doing this together, **aibo**,_ Yami said as she took control. She might be driving the body, but she and Hinata were acting together.

_Together_, Hinata confirmed, looking through their shared eyes.

Tapping into the Puzzle's power, Yami/Hinata used one last Curemaster Magic Card as they stood up. Another pulse, and she deactivated the Jam Defender card. "Eternal Neji-slime! Back off! This one's ours!"

Obediently, the slime monster jumped to the side, crouching down into a defensive position. Neji's eyes boggled as she stared at Hinata's body. Every cut and bruise from before had disappeared, leaving only unblemished skin. "Impossible. I hit you! In the face! You should still be out like a light!"

"Ironic you would choose that word," Yami/Hinata said, flexing her neck casually as she stretched out her arms, popping her wrists and knuckles. "Do not underestimate our power, little girl."

"H-how?" Neji managed to get out, settling into a rather shaky stance. Yami/Hinata smiled mysteriously.

"One of us was the darkness, the other the light. Together, we are Hinata," Yami/Hinata said. "That is all you will have the privilege to know. Perhaps when you have grown, little caged bird, we will tell you more. Maybe. But for now, we are going to beat you and passing this exam!"

Snarling, Neji charged, and both were there to meet her. Neji was clearly on her last legs compared to the refreshed Yami/Hinata, who was parrying her strikes to the side with apparent ease. Within moments, it was clear who was going to win.

Yami/Hinata slammed a normal kick into the side of Neji's hip, shut down a bunch of _tenketsu_ points on her bicep, jammed her elbow into the taller girl's sternum and finally blew her away with a final _Kaiten_, sending Neji slamming into a wall.

"YEAH! ALRIGHT! GO, HINATA-CHAN!" Naruto cheered, and he wasn't the only one, but Hinata had ears only for him. Yami smiled slightly, taking full control as she let Hinata bask in her crush's cries.

At the base of the wall, underneath the Neji-shaped impact crater she'd made, Neji was trying–valiantly, in Yami's opinion– to stand and continue the fight. Yami had to shake your head. "Neji, unlike you, I know better than to ask you to give up when Fate _obviously_ wants you to take your beating like a girl and just roll over and drop unconscious. So, why don't we play a little game?"

Neji pushed herself up, her arms shaking from the effort. "… can't lose. How?… how can you… beat me…?"

Yami ignored her. "The game is this: you have to defeat your opponent in the flashiest way possible. The Winner gets to continue on with the chuunin exam. The loser gets to have Hyuuga clan law changed for them. Do you agree? Don't say no if you do," Yami said, smiling.

Neji didn't seem to hear, finally managing to get up to her knees. She was now trying to rise to her feet.

"GOOD! I'll let you go first." Yami waited for fifteen seconds as Neji laboriously got to her feet, panting. "Nothing? That's it? Okay, my turn."

Grinning, Yami pulled a card out of one of her pouches. Holding it between two fingers, Hinata raised the card above her. Kiba, Shino and Kurenai, recognizing the gesture– _and_ the card in question–shrank back from the railing, pressing against the back wall in horror. Everyone looked at the curiously, but their jaws were too clenched in fear to respond to inquiries.

"Winged Dragon of Ra, COME FORTH!" Yami cried, and the card began to glow.

A sphere of light suddenly appeared within the arena, nearly blinding everyone as it shone like a second sun. Yami ignored the light as she began to speak Hieratic.

"_Great beast of the sky, please hear my cry._  
_Transform thyself from orb of light and bring me victory in this fight._  
_Envelop the desert with your glow and cast your rage upon my foe._  
_Unlock your powers from deep within so that together we may win._  
_Appear in the Shadow Game as I call your name,_  
_THE_ _WINGED DRAGON OF RA!_"

The glowing orb began to shift, it's glow fading slightly as it began to rearrange itself like a puzzle, wings and arms appearing from the golden body. within moments, the enormous dragon that had appear a few days ago floated above the arena.

Smiling in satisfaction, Yami raised forth her hand. "Great Dragon of Ra, I offer this sacrifice to increase your power!"

At these words, the Eternal Neji-slime glowed, before being absorbed into the dragon.

"The power of the sun in the palm of my hand," Yami murmured briefly, before pointing at Neji. "Winged Dragon of Ra, _FIRE GOD BLAZE CANNON!_"

Neji futilely tried to perform the _Kaiten_ before she was engulfed…

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Yami stood above Neji's slightly burned, slightly smoldering, still-living body. "I win," she whispered as Hayate started counting down to give Neji a chance to get up. "I win the game. The prize is mine, cousin. I will be going forward to the chuunin exam final. And you lost. Therefore, I give my word, I will do all in my power to change the law of the Hyuuga clan." Yami reached as if to stroke Neji's forehead, but stopped herself. "I promise, upon my _nindo_, by the Millennium Puzzle, and before Ra himself. One day…"

Finally, Hayate decided time was up. "Since Hyuuga Neji is no longer able to fight, the winner is Hyuuga Hinata!"

There was cheering up in the sidelines as Yami turned towards them, grinning and waving her arm in acknowledgment. She bounced up to the viewing areas as Medics rushed towards Neji to see if she was alright.

"That was awesome, Hinata!" Kiba yelled, slapping an arm around her shoulder as Akamaru barked in agreement. "You kicked ass!"

"You did well," Kurenai said, allowing herself a reserved smile. "Both of you." The last was said in a whisper.

"HINATA-CHAN! THANK YOU!" Naruto yelled, barreling towards her with his pockets bulging and leaving behind some rather annoyed faces. "I'm rich because of you! I knew you could do it."

Inside, Hinata was reeling. Yami grinned. This was too good an opportunity to pass up. "Thanks for your support, Naruto-kun. You don't mind if I take my cut as the winner, do you?"

"Uh, sure! How much do youHNNNNN!"

Naruto was cut off as Yami grabbed him by his baggy clothes and pulled him towards her, entrapping his mouth in a kiss that had his toes curling and his fingers twitching involuntarily. Nearly everyone was stunned into silence.

Yami pulled back still grinning. Hinata was in shock, her mind overloading. "I think that'll do. Thanks, Naruto-kun."

Winking at him, Yami walked away, swaying her hips as she headed for the closest exit. Once there, she turned–they were all looking at her; Naruto's jaw was hanging open as he stared– and blew Naruto a kiss and another wink, before ducking out. Once she was sure she was out of earshot, Yami ran for it, laughing like a maniac the whole time. She'd have to be in charge for while: Hinata had fainted inside. She couldn't say she blamed the girl: she felt like doing it herself…

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Harry wondered what kind of magic that was as he collected his money from a sullen Zabuza. It was magic, of that he was sure of. He just didn't know what…

Orochimaru was _this_ close to wetting himself with excitement at the display. To be able to use that much power… Firmly, he stomped on his fantasies of calling dragons from the sky to rain destruction down on Konoha. First things first: get an Uchiha body and Sharingan, then funky summons…

Kabuto was thanking his lucky stars he hadn't need to fight the girl. How could his information be so wrong? No matter. She was _scary_…

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: what's with Yami and Hinata, you ask? Well, I'm fairly sure there have been Yugi/Yami fics and doujinshi before…

What? I _LIKE_ how that relationship is shaping out!

When Yami is out of Hinata's body, she can only carry around a small amount of the Puzzle's energy, good for a Trap or Magic Card or two (maybe, depending on what the effect of the card is), or one (low-level) monster.

Not sure if I got the card names right. They're supposed to be from Marik/Malik's deck.

And just to nip any ideas at the bud, Monster Reborn cannot be used to bring dead people back to life! Why? BECAUSE I SAY SO! Besides, reviving people from the dead is _so_ overused. Time-travel is better.

The rest of the fights next chap. I'm too tired to write more… -_zzzzzzzzzzzz_-

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	11. The Other Fights: Haku versus Kabuto

A/N: it has been mentioned how the rookies alone could crush the Sound-Sand invasion.

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 11: The Other Fights: Haku versus Kabuto

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.

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The medics were carrying the broken body of Lee, with Gai in tow, when a figure suddenly seemed to materialize out of the darkness. "Wait," the figure said.

The medics tensed, and Gai moved between his student and the figure, settling reflexively into a _taijutsu_ stance.

The figure stepped forward, resolving into a smiling Hinata. Well, Yami Hinata. "Relax, Gai-sensei, it's just me."

Gai breathed a sigh of relief and straightened. "What brings you here?"

Yami shrugged. "I saw the fight and thought I'd offer help."

Gai raised a fuzzy eyebrow. "Help?"

Reaching into her pouch, Yami pulled out a card. "Dina Keto, heal the one before me," Yami said, and a wave of magic washed over Lee's form. Yami repeated this seven times. At the last, she turned away. "You'll find his leg and arm are as good as new now, although he'll need a little rest. That was quite a beating he took."

As the astonished medics began examining Lee to find that, yes, his injuries _were_ gone, Gai said, "I am aware of the situation within the clan."

Yami paused, not turning around. "Do you?"

Gai nodded, knowing she'd at least sense the movement in her peripheral vision. "I've also heard him speak of you. I… commend you on your restraint."

"Thank you," Yami said, turning around and favoring the man with a small smile. "Despite what people might think after my little display, I don't hate Neji. Not really. It's just that she was being such an ass!"

Gai coughed, deciding to let that go. Then, he grinned. "Naruto's match is coming up. Don't you want to–?"

Quick as a flash, Yami was gone, running back towards the arena.

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_This one is noisy_, Inu-Yasha grumbled. Indeed, Kiba _was_ mouthing off, and he was getting on Naruto's nerves too. _I mean, Kami! He bitches more than Shippo!_

_HEY!_ said fox yelled at the hanyou spirit. The human vessel didn't hear that, however.

_I don't know why you're so against Shippo,_ Naruto said, glazing off as Kiba yacked and yacked and yacked. _He sounds like my kind of guy. Although I'd probably have done Kagome **naked** if I was trying to pull a gag on you. _

_HEY!_ Inu-Yasha yelled as Shippo laughed unheard, wondering why he'd never done _that_. _That was my **wife** you're talking about!_

"_HEY, DOBE, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?_" Kiba yelled.

"Of course not!" Naruto yelled back. "I was talking to the voice in my head! He's more interesting to listen to!"

_Got that right,_ Inu-Yasha huffed.

"GRR, NARUTO!" Kiba yelled as he charged.

Naruto just pulled out the Tessaiga, shifted it to it's big form, turned it sideways and slammed the flat portion on Kiba's head quicker than the eye could see. Kiba dropped like a light.

"Guess I win," Naruto said, shouldering the obscenely large sword and walking back up the stairs, chatting with Inu-Yasha.

When he got up, the first person he saw was a grinning Hinata.

"Uh, hey Hinata-chan," Naruto said, blushing and rubbing the back of his head with his free hand while Inu-Yasha and Shippo smirked and snickered. "Did you see my fight? Cool, huh? I beat Kiba pretty quick, too."

"Yeah, great fight Naruto-kun," Hinata– although Shino and Kurenai could tell instantly it was Yami– Yami said, smiling warmly, her eyes half-lidded. "I think you deserve a prize: you won faster than Sasuke did."

"Yeah, I did, didn't I? What sort of prHHHNNNNNNNN!"

Everyone felt a collective sense of déjà vu as Yami pulled Naruto towards her and kissed him. Nearly everything was the same, right down to Naruto's toes curling and fingers twitching. His grip tightened on the Tessaiga, keeping it from falling off his shoulder and potentially cutting something off.

Yami grinned as she pulled back. "Congratulations, handsome," she said, walking towards the nearest exit, her hips swaying. Blowing him another kiss, she stepped out.

Naruto blink-blinked. _Do you understand girls at all?_ he asked. He was answered by laughter._ What? What'd I say?_

_I can't believe this guy!_ Shippo said as he laughed.

_Yeah,_ Inu-Yasha agreed.

_I mean, **you** did better than this with Kagome and Kikyo!_

_Yea-HEY!_

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Finally, it was down to Kabuto and Haku. The two shook hands, a marked contrast to the hostility of the previous matches. Haku did it because it was polite, Kabuto because it went with his 'I'm the nicest guy in the world, you can't suspect me of anything' image.

Hayate nodded in approval, coughing into his hand. "Begin!"

Kabuto drew his trademark curved blade as Haku pulled out his needles, tossing them to test out the waters. Kabuto blocked them all as most seemed aimed at pressure points. Haku took note of his skill, and briefly wondered why he had failed the exam so many times. He had more to him than he let on….

In the end, Haku still beat Kabuto, but not before Kabuto was able to take a lot of notes. Haku hadn't needed to pull any summons, but he'd almost had to use his Makyo Hyosho. Luckily, a freak shot had allowed him to defeat Kabuto before it came to that.

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The Hokage watched the genin who'd managed to win stand before him. Their various jounin were swelled up with pride, although some kept sending annoyed looks at Harry, who was standing behind him next to Anko. Apparently, he and Naruto had cleaned up during Hinata's match. Or was it Yami Hinata? He really hadn't been listening. He'd been surprised at the power the genin had displayed. That aura Sasuke had used to lash out at his opponent had felt eerily similar to the Kyuubi's…

For a moment, Sarutobi wondered how Shippo was doing inside Naruto. He really should get around to eventually starting to research on a way to pull him out of Naruto without killing either of them, but the way the Yondaime had made the seal, that might be all but impossible. For the Nth time, he wished he'd remembered to tell the Yondaime about the deal Konoha had with Shippo. The most he could hope for was that the Kitsune wasn't feeling particularly mischievous when he was finally let out, if ever. He was too old for the kinds of pranks the fox liked to pull…

As he went through the speech automatically, he took note of all the genin, looking 'underneath the underneath' as he'd taught and been taught. Naruto, who had for some reason taken to wearing a red robe, was fidgeting, compulsively gripping and letting go of the sword at his waist. Sasuke was impassive as usual, although his eyes were slightly blank. He couldn't really make anything out of the Sound-nin, what with all the bandages he was wearing. The same for the two Sand boys. The girl, however…

She was obviously trying not to keep looking at Harry, who was obviously trying to look at her. The two were so obvious he was tempted to laugh at their expense. Kids these days, thinking they were so cool. A blind civilian could see what was going on with those two!

Haku's face was inscrutable, although he seemed to be keeping about 51 of his attention on Zabuza. Considering what he'd heard about how those two worked, Sarutobi wasn't really surprised. Tenten was standing with the discipline half of Gai's team was known for, managing to look dutiful. He wondered how this would affect her standing within her clan. If he was right, then Tenten might actually put all her pears to shame come the finals…

Shikamaru was bored. No surprise there, mamking him the hardest to read: bored was the natural state of a Nara male.

Hinata… she was markedly different. She stood straighter than usual, managing to make her look taller, despite the way her shoulder seemed to slouch. For some reason, she had a small, self-satisfied smile on her face that he felt sure had nothing to do with defeating her cousin, having talked with Gai about the latter's encounter in the hall. Although his imagination must be getting the better of him. The smile almost looked… lecherous.

Sarutobi had a feeling the finals would be _very_ interesting…

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: very little Harry involvement in this chap. More of him to come, although for now, the Naruto crowd will be training to kick ass on the chuunin final.

Coming soon: the reason _why_ I put Tenten in the finals. Yami meets the Hyuuga clan. Sakura worries about Yue. Sasuke gets his memories back? Harry gets on the path to being powered up some more. Naruto meets Shippo. Ino gets special training. Hyuuga twincest! And Hermione and Ginny will still be nowhere to be found anywhere near Konoha! Not necessarily in that order! New insanity ahead!

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	12. After The Eliminations

A/N: Like my fast update? Well, too bad. Don't get used to it.

This all takes place during the one-month training period.

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 12: After The Eliminations

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.

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There are many feared clans in Konoha. The Hyuuga clan, with it's lethal Gentle Fist. The Uchiha clan, with it's Sharingan, although _that's_ currently in the process of reconstituting. The Inuzuka and Aburame clans, with their affinity for animals. These and more unnamed, canon and original clans are known throughout the land, causing enemies to quake in fear. However, there is one clan in Konoha that few know about. The Uchiha's feared it. The Hyuuga's are positively terrified of it.

It is the clan to which Tenten belongs.

At first glance, there doesn't seem to be much reason to fear the clan. It has three Houses: the Cloud House, the Amazon House and the Eternity House. The Eternity House is famous for making the best okonomiyaki in all of Fire Country. The Amazon House is known for it's ramen (old man Ichiraku was supposedly once a student of the Amazon House's school of Ramen cooking, but eventually decided to go his own path. He's been a friendly rival ever since). The Cloud house runs a very successful cleaning service, accounting firm, and makes the deadliest poisons in the known world.

There seems little cause for concern. Although the clan has it's share of ninja, they are seldom noted. Few notice the fact that it's clan members are all very modest and always use a special soap when bathing. Fewer still realize that the whole clan could probably take over all of Konoha and no one, not even the Hyuuga Clan, or any other for that matter, could stop them.

For you see, this three house clan is known to all as the Saotome clan.

Every adolescent and above member of the clan is at least the equivalent of a jounin-level _taijutsu_ expert at their chosen style (whether that style is okonomiyaki making, spatula throwing, mallet-of-doom wielding, or tea ceremony is irrelevant). Most if not all of the children can beat a genin or even a chuunin team to at least a stalemate. The families' poisons, though seldom lethal, are more painful than torture (family legend traces the making of these poisons to bad cooking on the part of the first Cloud House Matriarch).

Few of this clan aspire to be great, however, despite the family code of striving for excellence and perfection in the Art. Most prefer the peaceful life, and thus focus on the arts of cooking, cleaning, accounting and poison making (known as 'Akane-ing' in the clan). Some, like Tenten, however, break the mold and go on the path of the originator of the clan, learning the secret Art of the three Houses (which is why the Chinese Amazons still send their sons and daughters to trying looking for mates at the clan, although they usually end up 'just friends', but that's another story).

When that happens, Konoha gets a new superweapon…

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Tenten's mother gazed down at her unflinchingly. "Are you sure about this, Tenten? Once you begin, there's no going back. This is the art you will have to devote yourself to for the rest of your life… and with it, it's traditions."

Tenten nodded, fighting back a gulp. "I'm ready, mother," the genin said. "I'll master all the requisite skills by the chuunin exam final or die trying."

Tenten's mother chuckled. "Well, let's not go that far. A simple ''I'll do my best will suffice'."

Tenten smiled. "Yes, mother."

"Well, you might as well begin now. For the next few days, you will have to stop using water-proof soap so we'll see if you have the family curse. Even if you don't, you'll still be trained, although having the family curse if you're training to be an Apprentice Grandmaster is considered a sign of good luck."

Tenten nodded along as she listened to her mother discuss all the traditions involved in their families' secret _taijutsu_ style. Most of the family knew bits and pieces, but only Apprentice Grandmasters and the Grandmasters themselves were taught all.

"Oh, and you'll have to braid your hair," Tenten's mother said as she wrapped up.

"My hair? Why?"

"Tradition."

"Oh, okay."

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"Move it, squirt," Yami said as she picked up a surprised Hinabi off the cushion she was sitting on at set her to once side as she claimed the seat for herself. "Make room for your big sister."

Ignoring the looks people were suddenly casting her way, Yami plucked the remote from Hinabi's hand and switched it from the Anime channel to the Discovery channel. She waited a few moments before turning around and staring everyone in the eye. "What are _you_ all looking at?"

No one answered as the door opened, admitting Hiashi. "Where is she?" he asked roughly, eyes immediately locking on to the reclining form of Hinata.

Yami looked at him lazily. "What do you want, old man?"

The others were all shocked Hinata was suddenly acting like this, and it showed on their faces. Hiashi didn't have that luxury. "I've just been informed you somehow managed to enter into the chuunin exam finals. Which third-rate ninja did you have to defeat to get in?"

"Neji-chan," Hinata said lazily.

There were more gasps of shock. Hiashi finally had an excuse to let the surprise show on his face. "_NEJI?_"

"Yes, my very own _dear_ cousin Neji," Yami said, yawning quite openly. "She was being her usual bitchy self and I thought she needed straightening out, so I obliged her. She should be out of the hospital in time to see me pummel the competition in the finals."

Shock after shock was piling up. _Hinata_ beat _Neji_? So badly Neji had needed to be hospitalized? And she knew Neji was a girl? This was rapidly entering unfamiliar ground, never mind Hinata was acting so different…

Hinabi, not knowing what was going on and lacking the finely tuned danger sense of the adults, latched on to the closest thing she could understand. "Hey! You're in my seat!"

Yami leveled an amused stare at Hinabi. "So?"

"Get off my seat, loser!"

Yami raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you listening just now? I just said I beat the snot out of Neji. What makes you think you're even in my league?"

Hinabi struck at Yami, but the dark side dodged it casually, grabbing Hinabi's arm and twisting it behind the girl's back. "Ah, ah, ah. New house rule: you don't attack your older sister if you know what's good for you, otherwise, I break your arm. Understood?"

Not waiting for a reply, Yami tossed Hinabi at Hiashi, who managed to catch his youngest daughter while staring at his older one like she'd grown a second head. Said oldest stood up and stretched, announcing, "I'll be in my room. Call me when dinner is ready or else."

With that, she turned to leave, the door closing behind her.

One of the older men was the first to speak. "Who was that blonde with her? She's hot."

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Harry sighed as he left this hotel room. Temari was having a meeting with her team to discuss something or other, and Zabuza was somewhere teaching Haku how to be more ninja-y, so he was pretty much by himself today. Well, him, Kenshin, Sojiro and Shishio, anyway.

_About time we got away,_ Shishio muttered. _I was getting tired of the chicken head's bragging._

_Be nice,_ Kenshin said out of habit, although he sighed as well. Sano _had_ been getting annoying. Okay, so he'd taught Zabuza to use the 'Futae no Kiwami'. Big deal! Third level? So what? Using both with his Buster Sword _and_ Cleaver? Well, that's a little harder to ignore. Using the triple-level-limit with both his swords while Omnislashing? Okay, that was just plain evil.

Sojiro and Harry ignored the two as the former helped Harry dissect his battle with Orochimaru to see what he could have done better. Harry was planning to practice Apparating while using his swords, as that seemed to be an effective method against ninja– or anyone else for that matter. They also needed to build up his endurance more, so he wouldn't have to rely on their boost so much.

Which was how Harry found himself running laps around Konoha at _Shukuchi_ speeds, while practicing unsheathing his sakabatou…

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"Are you going to read that all day?" Sakura said disapprovingly at Yue, who was reading yet another copy of 'Icha Icha Paradise'.

"Yes," was the Moon Guardian's simple reply.

Keroberos didn't understand why Sakura let out a strangled scream of frustration. So Yue was reading. So what? He sighed, resigning himself to never being able to understand females, let alone his master.

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Sasuke woke up groggily. For a moment, he couldn't remember needing to meet with Kakashi later that day, or that he had a month of intense physical training to go through, or notice that Sesshomaru was trying to possess him again. All he could think of was…

"Why didn't Sakura have pink hair in that dream?" he murmured to himself. "And why was there two of Ino, but neither of them were blonde?"

It took him a tick longer to notice the soiled state of his clothes and sheets. When he did, he blinked.

"Oh no… I _wasn't_…!" he said.

Apparently, he was.

Sasuke quietly had a breakdown at the though he was actually having _good_ dreams about Sakura _and_ Ino.

Meanwhile, a little wolf somehow sighed and decided to try again later. No matter _how_ repressed, traumatized and generally almost asexual the rest of him was, he was breaking out and properly reincarnating, darn it! He'd promised Sakura… oh, and Tomoyo and Meilin too…

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Kakashi ignored the sunlight filtering through the drawn blinds of his windows as he clicked on yet another monster, sending his level 98/49 Perfect Critical Assassin to Katar it to death. _One more level_, he kept saying to himself. _One more level and then I'll leave for work…_

And so, yet another Magma Golem died as Kakashi built up the foundation for being late another day yet again. He kept telling himself he wasn't hooked, could stop playing Ragnarok any time he wanted…

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Somewhere in Japan…

"Uh, Hermione?" Ginny said, tapping her girlfriend on the shoulder.

"Hmm?" the older girl said as she tried to check to map she carried with any local landmarks.

"We're supposed to be near the sea shore, aren't we?"

"Yes…" Hermione said distractedly.

"Why is it I'm got mountains and forests as far as the eye can see?"

Hermione blinked, before actually looking around farther than the nearest street sign. "Um, I think we took the wrong train… or is it bus? Taxi? Where the heck are we?"

Ginny sighed. They'd never catch up with Harry at this rate…

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Harry sneezed, his eyes watering. Wiping the gunk out, Harry hoped he wasn't coming down with anything. It was a long way from St. Mungo's and he really didn't want to be put down because of a cold.

_You sure about this, Shishio?_ Kenshin said suspiciously.

**_YES!_** the ex-warlord said, annoyed his word was being doubted. _It's going to work, I tell you! Have I ever led anyone wrong before?_

Kenshin pointedly pointed towards, Sojiro, who backed off. _Oh, no! Don't get **me** involved in this!_

_It's going to work, I tell you!_ Shishio insisted. _I've been tearing apart what I saw that Uchiha kid, and I think I can do something like it. Lucky it was fire he was using, though. I don't think Potter could do it on his own– can't handle the energy– but thanks to my genius-_

_GET ON WITH IT!_ Harry yelled.

Shishio grumbled over the interruption, but directed Harry to get into a Battoujutsu stance with one hand on _Mugenjin. _Harry did so, settling into the stance so naturally, you wouldn't have known he'd barely held a sword a month ago.

Shishio concentrated, forming and shifting his spirit form as closely as he could remember the Uchiha brat doing days ago, tugging at Harry's soul for power. _Now…_

Harry drew out the _Mugenjin_, making sure to strike the blade on the flint lining the edge of the sheathe. The blade instantly burst into flames as he drew it, creating and arc of flame as he completed the diagonal slash. At the top of the arc, Harry reversed the weapon, slashing vertically downward in front of him, just as he felt Shishio doing something _different_…

A blast of fire burst out from the blade's flame, shooting out before him and reminding him of the Hungarian Horntail's attempts to incinerate him at the Tri-Wizard tournament from four years ago. Compared to the dragon, this flame was a paltry thing, shooting out for barely six feet before it poofed out, but it still made Harry nearly fall over in surprise. "How…?" he said, remembering to snuff out _Mugenjin_ before it managed to burn his hand.

_I can control the flames,_ Shishio said, pride, glee, and an unmistakable tinge of something _insane_ making itself known. _A little anyway. I bet with a little practice and you letting me use your energy, we'd be able to make up **some** kind of special techniques in the ninja's league. At the very least, you've got a little extra range in case you miss, although with all of us here, that's unlikely, so it's going to be good for the times your enemy blocks and isn't expecting you to burn him to a crisp!_

Kenshin whimpered. _The pyromaniac has a new toy…_

Sojiro, however, was being more thoughtful. _Can you tell me how you did that, Shishio-sama? I do not have your affinity for flames, but maybe I can conceive an application for it…_

Ignoring what his spirits were discussing, Harry stared at _Mugenjin's _serrated edge, imagining what that would have done to Voldemort…

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Somewhere, Voldemort sneezed. His eyes flew wide with horror. "KABUTO!"

The silver-haired medic-nin, just back from his rather painful fight with Haku, sighed, and went to answer the Snake Wizard's summons. Why, oh _WHY!_ did Orochimaru have such a hypochondriac for a cousin?

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: That was the only way I could in good conscience give someone Ranma's skills without yet another possessed object. And considering anything Ranma would own would be destroyed or sold by Nabiki, anything surviving long enough for that to happen is unlikely

The energy Shishio talks about it either Harry's Ki, Reiki, Youki, Chakra, furyouku, magic, soul energy, whatever, take your pick, I'm being deliberately vague since I don't want to nail him down to anything.

Hypochondriac Voldie… -_snicker_-

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	13. The Next Day

A/N: enjoy the Hyuuga cheesecake…

This chap is rather Hinata-centric, but I've been reading a lot of **_YuGiOh!_**, so I really can't help it…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 13: The Next Day

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue.

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When Hinata woke up from some moist dreams, she found herself sandwiched between a barely dressed, well-endowed older woman, and a not at all dressed incarnation of her own darkness. Naturally, Hinata froze. That didn't last long, as she slowly remembered Mana following them into her room the night before, and of using De-Fusion at Yami's request. She remembered somehow being convinced to let the three of them sleep together, and after that…

Hinata blushed as the inspirations for her dreams came crashing back. At least her tongue no longer felt sore. For a second, she activated her Byakugan. The pajamas Yami had been wearing were on the floor, obviously thrown there since they were practically on the other side of the room.

"Mornin', Hinata-chan," Yami breathed into her ear, and Hinata shivered. "Did you sleep well?"

"Y-yami-ch-chan!" Hinata stuttered, unable to help herself.

Yami clucked disapprovingly. "None of the now, _aibo_. I will not have you slipping into old habits." A sudden grin. "Especially since I rather like your new ones. Enjoy yourself last night?"

Hinata's blush went up another grade as Yami chuckled and began nibbling on her ear, her arms wrapped around her and holding her close. The Darkness began kissing along her Light's jaw-line, pressing her naked body against Hinata and nearly giving her a stroke in the process. "Wanna kick it up a notch?"

Yami had gotten around to nuzzling Hinata's neck when the other girl finally got what Yami was proposing… well, not exactly proposing more like 'already doing and summarizing as she went along'. "YAMI-CHAN!"

"I'll take that as a yes given the lack of a proper negative," Yami said smugly as she began to undo the first button of Hinata's pajamas, slipping it out slowly and making a big production out of it.

"B-b-b-but, w-what if Mana-chan wakes up?" Hinata said, casting a sideways look at the sleeping blonde, whose tousled hair was taking up most of the pillow.

"She can join us then," Yami said as she began to undo the second button. "I want to at least show you the basics first."

Hinata tried to say something, but was cut off as Yami kissed her. She had the strange feeling of kissing a mirror as she saw her own face before her, but everything past that was fried as contact commenced.

Yami had finished with the third and sixth buttons by the time she and Hinata needed to come up for air. Nuzzling Hinata's cheek, she undid the last button and reached down to open up Hinata's shirt.

"Yami," Hinata said quietly, sounding pained. She grabbed her Darkness's hands forcing her to stop what she was doing. Pressing their foreheads together, Hinata met Yami's eyes. "No sex, Yami."

Yami pouted, looking like a deflated balloon all of a sudden. "Aww? Why not?" she pouted.

Hianta blushed, but her answer was firm. "I want my first time to be with Naruto-kun. I'm sorry. "

"But it's not really sex between us, is it?" Yami tried desperately. "I mean, it's more like a bizarre, narcissistic, two-body form of masturbation!"

"No sex, Yami," Hinata said. Despite her full body blush, embarrassed look, and compromising position, the Light's voice was firm.

Yami sighed, bowing her head and pouting cutely. "Yes, dearest," she said in a voice that could only be called 'whipped', doing up the button between Hinata's breasts that would give her maximum modesty for minimum effort. But it only lasted for a moment, however.

Grinning, Yami pressed herself completely against Hinata's front, wrapping her arms around the other seemingly shorter girl and kissing her deeply as said hands began to roam.

"Y-yami!"

"No sex, dearest, just as you said," Yami said, showering butterfly kisses all over Hinata's face. "But you didn't say anything about the things that led up to it, did you?"

"Y-yami…"

Chuckling, Yami pressed on, hoping Mana would wake up on her own soon. Now _that_ would be fun…

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Harry bounced off a tree trunk, back-flipping as he drew out the sakabatou. Three cuts, and the branches of a nearby tree were shorn off, courtesy of the _blunt_ side of the sword's edges. _Man, I love doing that_, Harry said as he rebounded off another tree and did a sort of aerial pirouette, the sword spinning around him and creating a zone of… well, not exactly death, with that blunt edge, but at least a zone of extreme and very painful bruising.

_Don't you think he's enjoying himself a little too much?_ Kenshin asked rhetorically.

Shishio and Sojiro looked at each other and shrugged. _Nah!_

_Somehow, I'm not reassured,_ Kenshin said, giving the to members of the long dead Juppon Gatana a _look_.

_You're just jealous because I was able out work out special fire techniques and you haven't been able to make squat,_ Shishio grinned.

Kenshin glared at him, muttering something about maybe exploiting air pressure. Shishio merely stuck out his tongue.

Sojiro, however, was being thoughtful. _I wonder why Zabuza-san said he couldn't make it today?_

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Zabuza gave the Konoha jounin a look. "You want me to _what_?"

Asuma gave his best smile. "I want you to teach my student how to handle a sword. I asked around, and your name came up. Kakashi said you came highly recommended."

Zabuza made a mental note to castrate the scarecrow. "Why should I?"

"Well, you're a missing-nin, right? I'm hiring you to teach my student," Asuma said, still smiling. Zabuza figured all the nicotine he smoked probably atrophied his facial muscles or something.

Zabuza was going to say no. Really, he was. _Really._

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_This pervert is teaching Naruto?_ Inu-Yasha said. If he'd had a body at that moment, an eyebrow would have been twitching.

**_What is Kakashi smoking?_** Shippo agreed.

The two decided Ebisu was the worst possible choice to teach Naruto.

Well, that is until…

_**This **pervert is teaching Naruto?_ Inu-Yasha said. If he'd had a body at that moment, it would have been shaking all over.

_I miss Ebisu,_ was all Shippo said as the two of them looked at Jiraiya…

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Sakura and Ino were somewhere making out. Let's not disturb them, shall we?

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Temari was talking to Kagura out loud as she got ready for her afternoon date with Harry. Gaara, Kankuro and Baki had made themselves scarce, in case the girl became a _violent_ psycho.

All in all, pretty normal.

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"Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"Where are we?"

----------------------------------------

The whole Hyuuga clan stared at one, then the other. Back and forth, back and forth…

Finally, Hiashi snapped. "What's going on here?" he demanded.

One of them flinched, trying to bury herself deeper into her jacket. The other gave Hiashi a look. "Do you mind? Hinata-chan and I are trying to eat."

Hiashi barely managed to restrain himself. No, Hyuugas did _not_ get eyebrow twitches! "Who are you?" he demanded.

"I'm Hinata's dark side," Yami said, not pausing as she ate. "I'll be here to stay forever, so you better get used to me."

Hiashi glared at Hinata, who tried to shrink deeper into her jacket.

Yami glared. "And I'll thank you not to bother Hinata-chan like that. Not unless you want to loose those eyes of yours, anyway."

"Yami!" Hinata said, sounding scandalized. Yami just kept on matching Hiashi's glare.

With a look of disdain, Hiashi said to Hinata, "I do not know what you are playing at, but this ends now. Get rid of this… individual immediately."

There was silence. Then… "No," Hinata said.

Hiashi finally couldn't keep his eyebrow from twitching anymore. "_What?_" he growled.

Hinata gulped, and she looked like she expected to die any minute, but her voice was firm. "No. Yami-chan is staying."

"You tell him, lover," Yami cheered quietly as she popped some rice into her mouth.

Hinata suddenly turned bright red. This did not help Hiashi's mood.

"You… you…!" Hiashi said, barely managing to stay articulate. He suddenly stood up, looming threateningly. The other Hyuugas in the room started backing away, leaving them at the table.

Yami, however, calmly finished her breakfast and turned to Hinata. "Hinata-chan, now would be an excellent time to use that special technique of ours."

Hinata managed to tear her gaze away from her father, who was striding ominously to where they were sitting, too look at Yami. "S-special t-technique?" she managed to squeak.

Yami nodded, taking Hinata's arm and extending it while she placed Hinata's other hand on the Millennium Puzzle. "Just concentrate and say 'Mind Crush'."

"M-mind C-crush?"

There was a burst of power, and suddenly, Hiashi was standing there with a dull look on his face.

"Hmm," Yami said, as she stood up. "Not bad for a beginner. Your pronunciation needs work, though."

With that, Yami dragged Hinata–who had a horrified look on her face– off towards parts unknown. A minute later, Mana finished her food and rushed to join them.

Back in the dining room, a line of drool started to drip down Hiashi's mouth as the other Hyuuga's cautiously approached.

One of the older ones tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I think Hiashi's gonna be like that for a while."

Another was waving a hand over Hiashi's eyes, snapping his fingers and getting no response. "Remind me never to get Hinata… er, _Hinata-hime_ mad at me."

Another one grinned and pulled out a permanent marker…

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Nothing special, basically filler. I'm in the process of revising the later chapters and making them more organized, with actual plot content. This will be a while, so don't expect an update anytime soon.

On the other hand, hope you enjoyed the Hinata-smut…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	14. The Next Day, Continued

A/N: time is messed up. A bit more Hinata/Yami-centric, since I've been reading **Yu-Gi-Oh **again…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 14: The Next Day, Continued

Disclaimer: I don't own, you don't sue. Please?

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Team Ten raised their eyebrows at the sight before them. Hinata was walking towards their meeting place, slightly later than usual but still on time, followed by a girl who looked like her identical twin and a tall, blonde, busty, green-eyed woman in a blue and pink outfit.

"Yami, I presume?" Shino said, looking as inscrutable as ever. You would never know that he occasionally had wild bursts of inanity involving his bug Duel Monsters deck that put the fuzzy eyebrow pair to shame.

The one wearing a black trench coat, fishnet shirt, bikini top, hot-pants and no golden pendant flipped her hair, posing provocatively. "That's me!" she said, winking at them. "Hey Bugs, Kibble."

"O-ohayo, minna-san," Hinata said, twiddling her fingers together. Yami rolled her eyes in fond amusement.

"Well, I'm off! Take care of her, Mana-chan, Kurenai-sensei!" Yami said, turning around and waving her hand.

Hinata blinked. "You're not staying?"

Yami shook her head. "I have a cute blond _boy_ to find and seduce," she said, winking at Hinata, who blushed. "Take care of yourself now, _koibito. _If I'm lucky, we'll have a boyfriend when I get back."

Leaning forward, Yami gave Hinata a quick peck on the lips, before turning around and skipping off. Hinata stood there, turning a shade of red she usually reserved for Naruto.

Kiba was the first to break the silence. "**_KOIBITO?_** **_BOYFRIEND?_**"

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Ino looked up at Asuma, then Zabuza, then Asuma again. "I have to learn from _him_?"

Asuma nodded, putting a cigarette in his mouth. Zabuza promptly plucked it out, throwing over his shoulder with a chant of "Don't you fall into the trap; cigarettes are full of crap."

Asuma twitched, before resuming speaking. "Zabuza-san is the only one with a sword even remotely close to being as big as yours. It's only logical I ask him to teach you."

Ino pouted. "But I already know how to use my sword!"

Asuma wasn't listening, however. He was too busy trying to light a cig and keep away from Zabuza, who seemed determined to put it out…

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Harry leaned against a convenient wall, waiting for Temari so they could have their afternoon date, and pondering life in general. He'd come here a few weeks ago trying to track down Voldemort by looking for the man's cousin. Instead, he'd ended up in possession of three possessed swords, was currently staying in a village of super-powered ninjas, and having a romance with a girl about three years his junior. His day usually consisted of weird sword exercises, sparring with a guy who used swords almost as long as Harry was tall– one of which was possessed by a guy who knew ridiculously powerful techniques– trying to develop his own techniques in conjunction with his resident spirits (so far, not doing so hot), and taking said girl three years his junior out on dates.

He was either getting sidetracked or enjoying himself.

Harry tried to remind himself why he was doing this, remind himself of the need to kill Voldemort. Remind himself of Dumbledore's death, of Percy's, of...

_You know, experience has taught me revenge is neither healthy nor productive,_ Kenshin said.

_Says you,_ Shishio said.

Kenshin ignored him._ It's not wrong to enjoy yourself, to have a purpose besides vengeance. It's actually a good thing; you have something besides revenge to focus on._

_You're not trying to talk him out of it, Battousai?_ Shishio said in mock surprise. _Hell must have frozen over!_

Kenshin sniffed. _Hey, the guy is obviously asking for it. I'm just making sure Harry-kun won't start wondering what his purpose is and going over the deep end._

_You guys realize I can hear you, right?_ the Wizard said.

_Blonde alert, _Sojiro said, breaking off anything that might have broken out as Temari came within range.

"Hey Harry-kun," Temari said, grabbing hold of Harry's arm and instantly wiping his mind of all his previous worrying thoughts. That should have been cause for concern if one thinks about it. "Where are we going this time?"

The three swordsmen, however, were doing their own thing.

_So,_ Kenshin said quietly so that the two still alive wouldn't hear, much to Kagura's shock. _What's your name?_

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Sasuke and Kakashi reached the top of the pillar of stone they were climbing, completely drenched with sweat, breathing hard, chakra substantially used. The two panted as they collapsed on to the ground, not raising their faces from the rocks in front of them.

"Oh, Kakashi-sensei, Syaoran-kun! You two finally made it!"

The two blinked, finding it in themselves to look up. Sakura was sitting at a table in the middle of the space at the top of the stone spire they'd just climbed, smiling and drinking a glass of lemonade. Walking towards them was Yue, a tray with two glasses balanced in one hand, the latest copy of 'Icha Icha' he'd borrowed from Kakashi in the other.

"Would you two gentlemen like something to drink?" he said, not looking up from his book.

The two guys made a grab for the glasses, gulping them down and having Yue refill them again when they'd drained them. This continued for a while as Yue guided them under the umbrella Sakura was sitting under.

Finally, when they'd regained enough bodily fluids, Kakashi asked the obvious question. "Sakura-chan… how did you get up here?"

"I flew," Sakura said simply, taking another drink of her lemonade. She pushed a plate towards the two. "Cake?"

The two looked at each other and shrugged. Well, training can wait a _little_ while…

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Yami stayed hidden as she watched Jiraiya training Naruto. One would think she'd get spotted, but Hinata had been stalking Naruto for years without being seen, and she'd gotten all that stalking experience for herself too. Her _Byakugan_ activated, she found herself torn watching the only guy she was sexually attracted to and watching the girls frolicking around in the water on the other side of the bushes close to him. A pity none of them were blonde, but few people were perfect like Mana, Hinata, Naruto…

Decisions, decisions.

Well, she really couldn't put the moves on Naruto right now, could she? So might as well indulge in a little harmless girl-watching.

Now, how did the _Byakugan's_ x-ray vision mode work again…?

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In the days to follow…

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Tenten woke up by being kicked out of bed and out the window. Half asleep– actually, it was closer to nine-tenths– she was barely able to avoid hitting the koi pond on the way down, managing to bounce on the surface with a burst of chakra and settle into a fighting stance when she hit dry land, her eyes still closed but slowly opening.

"Stand up and fight, girl!" Tenten's mother yelled, charging at the younger girl and delivering a lightning fast barrage of strikes that Tenten barely managed to avoid or block. As it was, some made it, hitting her gut and popping her all the way into the waking world.

Now able to actively attack, Tenten charged her mother, keeping away from the koi pond for all she was worth and trying to dunk her mother in it at the same time. This was a weird Saotome tradition: an Apprentice Grandmaster was not allowed to have breakfast until after the morning dunking.

Tenten managed to hold her own while exchanging volleys of insults with her mother when the smell of something fried, basted and beef made it's way to her nose, causing her to hesitate as her mouth watered and giving her mother the opening she needed to high-kick Tenten into the koi pond.

The younger girl landed with a large splash, and he came out spluttering and wiping the water out of his face. Grimacing, Tenten-kun took of his top and squeezed it dry as he got out of the water, bowing to his mother and heading for the bathroom to wash up. Although they kept the koi pond cleaner than average, there were still fish in it, and fish pooped.

Tenten-kun ignored the organ currently between his legs as he washed up, lathering his hair and using regular soap. Two days in a room full of mirrors without clothes on had left her familiarized to the sight of his own naked male body. A quick dip in the furo later, and Tenten-chan was back, and settling down for a quick soak before she went down for breakfast and the morning speed training, before she went through the daily hell that was her training regime.

If she didn't make chuunin after this, she would probably kill someone!

Still, it could be worse. At least no one had decided to throw her into a pit full of cats while wrapped up in fish sausage…

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Naruto was on his way to where he'd been training with Jiraiya when someone suddenly fell into step next to him.

"Hey, Naruto-kun!" the person said.

Blinking, he turned his head, not noticing the way Inu-Yasha– and, deeper down inside, Shippou– was stirring. "Oh, hey Hinata-chan! Ohayo!"

'Hinata' chuckled. "It's Yami actually, but that's alright. Hinata-chan and I look a lot alike unless you know what to look for."

Blinking, Naruto peered at the girl walking next to him, eyes narrowed as he took note of the well-filled black bikini-top, micro-skirt, card-holsters hanging down her arms, scarves and _hitai-ate_ hanging around her neck, general lack of modest cover. "You have to teach me what to look for. I can't tell you two apart!"

Yami giggled, doing interesting things to the upper part of her anatomy. "Well, that's nice to know. I don't want to think we're _too_ different!"

Naruto laughed too, although he really didn't know what was so funny. Still, he might as well laugh along. "So, what can I do you?"

Yami smiled. It was a shark's smile, a predatory smile, the kind that Hoshigaki Kisame would have, but Naruto, mostly innocent boy that he is, couldn't tell the difference. "Naruto-kun, do you have a girlfriend?"

That made Naruto blink, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment as warning lights and eyebrows went up for the two demon residents of Hotel Naruto. "Um, no, not really. Well, there's Sakura-chan, but she's more of a friend that's a girl than a girlfriend. Besides, she's with Ino now– I think."

"Oh, I see," Yami said, her expression changing. Inu-Yasha promptly had a panic attack. That was the same look Kagome and Kikyo had just before they tied him to a bed, stripped him naked and did… _stuff_ to him and each other. "Have you ever been a boyfriend?"

Naruto blinked again, wondering where this was heading. "Um, well, I'm a boy, and I've been friends with people…"

At this, Yami giggled. "Well, that's all I needed to know. You want a girlfriend, Naruto?"

More blinking. "Well, that would be nice…"

"Think you can handle having _two_ girlfriends?" Yami pressed, the shark-smile back on.

"Uh, sure," Naruto said. Two?

"How about three girlfriends?" Yami said, and Naruto suddenly found his back against a wall, having been unconsciously backing away from Yami all this time.

He gave a nervous gulp. "I guess so…"

Yami grinned widely, before suddenly putting her arms around Naruto and pressing up against him. The _Jinchuriki _suddenly became very conscious of the _things_ pressing on his chest. "Would you like to be my boyfriend?"

"Huh?" was Naruto's not-so-intelligent reply. Inside, Inu-Yasha and Shippou were torn between screaming at him to make a move and laughing their heads off.

"Please, Naruto-kun," Yami said, blowing the words into Naruto's ear. The boy twitched from the unusual sensation. "I'd really like you to be our boyfriend. Please say yes."

Naruto struggled to say something. Of all the situations he'd imagined himself being in, this wasn't one of them, strangely enough. It had always been old man Hokage asking him to become the Fifth. And without the leaning and the ear blowing. "Um, Yami-chan–"

Any further words were cut off as Yami pulled his head down and kissed him thoroughly. After a couple of seconds of oxygen starvation, she leaned back and put on her most 'innocent-as-Hinata' look. "Please?" she said, pouting cutely.

By then, Naruto really wasn't himself. "Okay…" he slurred.

At this, Yami grinned widely. "Great! Well, come on, sempai, you don't want to be late for training now, do you?"

Naruto blinked as Yami started pulling him along, trying to get his bearings back. "Huh?"

Yami looked at him, shifting her grip so that he was a lot closer to her. "Well, as one of your girlfriends, it's my duty to see you get to training in time!"

"Oh, okay," Naruto said, then blinked again as something _finally_ caught his ear. "'One of'?"

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Hinata suddenly paused in her training as _something_ seemed to go through her.

Mana straightened in her little corner of the Shadow Realm where she was hiding from Mahaado (who _still_ insisted on conducting class!) as she felt something change in the fabric of things.

Shino paused as he looked at Hinata's unfocused look, motioning for Kiba to do the same as Kurenai became concerned. "Hinata? Are you all right?"

The Hyuuga princess blinked, trying to get her bearings back. "Hmm? Oh, I'm fine Shino-kun. I just thought I felt something…"

"What did you fell?" Kurenai said, hoping it wasn't anything serious.

Hinata looked up at the sky, glancing at Ra. You know, the sun? "I'm not sure. I just get the feeling that…"

Hinata paused, pondering how she should put this, before continuing.

"…that I should be deliriously happy…"

And in the Shadow Realm…

"MANA!" Mahaado yelled, looking and sounding a lot like Iruka as he finally cornered Mana, hiding inside a Pot Of Greed. Mana glared at said Pot for giving her away. The pot just snickered. "What are you doing in there?"

Mana pondered. "Teacher, do you believe in strange premonitions that seem to be completely groundless?"

The sorcerer rolled his eyes. "I'm an Egyptian mage who wielded the Millennium Ring. _Of _course I do! Why do you ask?"

Mana looked up into the… well, looked _up_, where the sky would be, anyway. "Because I just got the feeling that the Pharaoh just did something really kinky…"

Abruptly, she broke into a wide grin. "… and I can't wait to find out what it is!"

Mahaado sweatdropped as he watched his student start flitting around in anticipation for whatever kinkiness the Pharaoh had in mind. Behind him, he heard a deep chuckle, and he glared at the Blue Eyes White Dragon standing behind him and laughing. "Oh, can it, Kisara! You are not helping by encouraging them!"

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– **To be continued...**

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A/N: I once read a fic that described Hinata as a habitual stalker, and for some reason I can't get it out of my head!

This fic probably made a record as the first fic where Naruto gets seduced by Hinata's alter-ego to become her boyfriend.

Please review, C&C welcome. I'm thinking of somehow crossing this with **_Uzumaki Harry_**. What do you guys think?

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	15. Girls

A/N: Yes, I finally updated this. Please don't restate the obvious.

Okay, scratch the **_Uzumaki Harry_ **idea. I might still do it in the future, but only as an AU for kicks, kind of the non-lemon equivalent of a PWP. Hmm, an AU crossover between two crossovers…

AH, my head hurts! All right, back to the silliness!

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 15: Girls…

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything but the inanity. Enjoy and please don't sue me.

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Hinata paced worriedly, not caring if any of the now-respectful clan members saw her, or the fact her emotionally unstable chakra was helping her burn a furrow into the floor. It was already dark outside, and Yami still hadn't come home. She clutched the Dark Magician Girl Card tightly in her hand, wondering if she should call Mana and have the two of them go search for the errant Pharaoh.

Just to give herself something to do, she held the card before her and placed one hand on the Millennium Puzzle, concentrating the magic within it. A moment later, the Dark Magician Girl appeared, seemingly out a hole in the floor. She immediately locked on to Hinata.

"Hinata-chan!" Mana yelled, throwing her arms around the little Hyuuga and holding her tight. Which, because of their height difference, meant mashing Hinata against her chest.

Hinata blushed fiercely, and a little line of blood started flowing down her face as she sprung a nosebleed. Although she wasn't as… hormonal as Yami (far from it!), she _did_ find Mana attractive, and being where she was were definite grounds for a nosebleed. "M-mana–ch-chan…"

Mana opened her eyes, blinking in confusion, before looking down. Seeing Hinata's flushed face barely able to look up at her and a telltale line of red running down her face, the Dark Magician Girl was immediately concerned.

Gasping in shock, she immediately let Hinata go, kneeling down in front of her to get a better look. "Hinata-chan, what happened? Are you feeling sick? Why is your nose bleeding? Were you in a fight?"

Frantically, Hinata shook her head. "N-no, Mana-chan, I just couldn't breathe."

Mana had the grace to look embarrassed. "Oh. Sorry, but I've really missed you and Pharaoh-chan. It's been so long!"

"We saw each other this morning," Hinata said, confused.

Mana nodded frantically. "EXACTLY! I've been through almost a day without my Hinata-chan or my Yami-no-hentai-chan. I don't think I would have lasted much longer!"

Hinata sweatdropped as Mana hugged her again. Fortunately, this time it was a more standard hug since Mana was kneeling. "Was it… really that bad, Mana-chan?"

Mana nodded, pouting. "Mahaado sensei made me study! STUDY! Oh, it was horrible Hinata-chan. All day, the only thing I could think about were you and Yami-chan, your soft lips, your gentle hands, that cute look you'd have on before Yami and I would double-team you…"

Blushing deeper, Hinata tried to get back to the reason she'd called Mana. "Mana-chan, Yami-chan's still not back yet. I'm getting worried."

"Someone call for me?" Yami said cheerily as she waltzed in, looking both triumphant and unsteady on her feet. A rather goofy smile was plastered on her face, one that grew when she set eyes on Hinata and Mana. "Hey girls! Great news!"

"Where have you been?" Mana said, frowning– cutely, in Yami's opinion. "Hinata-chan was really worried about you!"

The nameless pharaoh looked slightly chagrined, but that didn't dent her smile much. "Sorry. But I was out getting something really nice for Hinata-chan!"

Hinata blinked. "For me?"

Yami scratched the back of her head. "Well, technically for the three of us, but you'll like this best, Hinata-chan! Believe it!"

"Um, what is it?" Hinata asked, wondering what Yami could be so excited about.

Yami grinned, suddenly closing the distance between her and Hinata in the blink of an eye. The Hyuuga princess's eyes barely had time to widen before she suddenly found herself in a passionate lip lock with her dark side…

After what seemed like a very long and very short time, Hinata found herself gasping for breath as Yami let her go. "What was that for?" she asked breathlessly. Not that she minded. Not one bit.

Yami shrugged. "I wanted to kiss you before you fainted."

Hinata blinked, confused. "What makes you think I'll faint?"

Yami grinned widely, before leaning forward to whisper in Hinata's ear. "Because I just got Naruto to agree to be our boyfriend."

Hinata's eyes rolled back into her skull and she became dead to the world.

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Kurenai frowned. Hinata had been behaving very sloppily today. She seemed to be _daydreaming_, of all things! Her eyes were blanker than usual, and her face kept breaking out into a goofy smile. It was really throwing Shino and Kiba off. Really, how do you hit someone that looked like the happiest person in the world?

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Harry Potter was walking around, minding his own business when he suddenly turned a corner and saw Zabuza putting a blonde girl he vaguely remembered from the chuunin exam eliminations through her paces. It was kind of hard to forget a girl who kissed another girl in public, after all. Yamanaka, right? Yamanaka Ino?

_Right,_ Soujiro confirmed from the recesses of his mind. _…She's looking pretty good with that thing. Not as good as Zabuza-san, but…_

_She was a lot better during that exam thing,_ Shishio agreed. _Guess she's just not used to those forms…_

Kenshin didn't add in his two cents, other than muttering darkly about the evil of training children to be killers.

Waving to Zabuza, Harry continued on his way, wondering what else he could do that day…

"Yo, Harry!" a familiar voice said. Turning, Harry found himself looking at Temari's brother, Kankuro.

"Kankuro," Harry said, inclining his head to the younger boy as they both fell into step. "What's you sister been doing lately? I haven't seen her around."

Kankuro looked slightly uncomfortable. "Oh, she's being reviewed. She's been talking to herself lately, and there just checking to make sure she wasn't going to be impaired or anything."

"Oh?" Harry said. Personally, Harry felt talking to yourself wasn't something as worthy of concern as a guy putting so much makeup on. Then again, that could be because he talked to himself… kind of. "That's too bad. Tell me how that turns out, okay?"

"Will do!" Kankuro said, before giving Harry a sideways look. "Now, about my sister…"

Knowing he was about to get another 'Brother Talk'– he'd had a lot of that from the Weasleys– Harry tried his best to tune it out…

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Naruto's training wasn't going so well. It had been days, and he _still_ couldn't summon a frog that still wasn't part tadpole. Hopefully, Jiraiya's new idea would help…

Hinata, Yami and Mana were taking a break– actually, Kurenai had sent them to 'Get that goofy look off Hinata's face so we can train properly!'– when Naruto walked by, looking a little lost and confused.

The result was instantaneous.

"NARUTO-KUN!" Yami cried, instantly latching herself on to Naruto like a barnacle– except much more affectionate. Hinata, predictably, blushed, averting her gaze while still casting sideways looks. Mana looked curious.

Naruto blinked, surprised at the affectionate behavior. "H-hey, Yami-chan. I was wondering if I could ask you a favor…"

"OH!" Yami said. "Before I forget… Naruto-kun, this is Hinata-chan and Mana-chan, your other two girlfriends."

Hinata, finally face to face with he new boyfriend, promptly went crimson as her blood pressure through the roof. Mana looked at Naruto speculatively, eyeing him with a slight smile. One, Yami noticed in amusement, that was slightly hungry. Well, she hadn't had any in thousands of years, and those little nookies over the past few weeks probably weren't enough to deal with her millennia-old itch.

"Hey, Hinata-chan!" Naruto said, waving to Hinata.

"Now, Naruto-kun, you don't just wave to your girlfriends," Yami chided, looking very amused.

"Uh, I don't?" Naruto said.

"Oh, no," Yami said. "You're supposed to hug them and give them a kiss… at least."

"Oh," Naruto said. He shrugged. To Hinata's complete surprise and Yami's glee, Naruto threw his arms around the Hyuuga girl and gave her a peck on the cheek.

Hinata promply froze, a trail of blood leaking from her nose, before falling into her second faint in as many days, a wide, goofy smile on her face. Fortunately for her, Naruto had yet to let go, and she fell into his arms.

Naruto blinked owlishly in surprise as he looked at the unconscious girl, then at Yami, who had on a wide smile. Mana was giggling at the scene.

"What happened?" Naruto asked, looking totally confused. Yami just shook her head.

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Sasuke was having one of those days.

It started off like always, waking up to find Sakura cuddled up next to him. It had happened so often he'd stopped making a big deal about it, resigning himself to the knowledge that the girl would be asleep next to him when he woke up. When she'd started wearing those thin pajamas, he didn't even raise a protest, prompting Sesshomaru to make snide comments about him being whipped. Well, snide for the youki, anyway.

When the pj's buttons had started slipping such that the top was almost always open and practically coming off when morning came- Sakura was apparently a frisky sleeper- usually showing off her bra and sometimes her panties if her pants happened to slip as well, Sasuke had been afraid of being accused of 'taking advantage of her', expecting to at least be slapped and at worse have to fend of an attempt to kill him.

When Sakura had woken up the first time in such a state, however, she'd just smiled down at him, said good morning, and asked him which he liked best, the view he had with his face against her chest, or the feel of her chest against his face, all the while rubbing her bare legs- she'd managed to kick off her pants in her sleep somehow- against him and blushing worse than a certain Hyuuga Heir.

He'd left the tent so fast you'd think he'd used _Shunshin_.

Anyway, this particular day, he'd woken up with Sakura next to him, her nearly bare chest pressed against his arm and a leg draped over his waist. That was particularly uncomfortable this morning, since he'd just had a particularly colorful wet dream where he'd been having a foursome with three girls he'd never even met but felt so familiar. This made the close proximity of their pelvises so disturbing.

Against his chest, Sakura stirred slightly, letting out a satisfied sigh. "Oh, Syaoran…" Sakura moaned, snuggling loser to Sasuke and making him _very_ aware of the fact he was wet and 'happy to see her'.

Slowly, languidly, Sakura opened her eyes, somehow managing to look satisfied, blissful, serene, and blushing at the same time. "Good, morning, Syaoran-kun," Sakura said adorably, before forward and kissing the corner of his mouth. She pulled away, moving strangely as she quietly slipped out of the tent.

Sasuke blinked in confusion. Sakura had _never _left first. Sitting up, Sasuke suddenly became aware of a wet spot on the side of his pants. Reaching down, he encountered something very warm and sticky…

Suddenly recalling the way Sakura had moved, Sasuke developed a nosebleed, barely stopping himself from clapping the hand that had encountered the… substance… on his face.

_Oh_ booooyyyyy….

What a way to start a day.

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It had seemed like a very reasonable idea at the time. Really, it had. Since he'd found that his summons had many varied talents and abilities, Haku had thought it was a good idea to see exactly what his summons added to his arsenal. After all, for some reason, each summon used up ridiculously little chakra, so he could theoretically summon and army without killing himself.

So simple at the time.

He'd started with Setsuna. She was easy to talk to and was usually as reserved and formal as himself, making her his unofficial favorite. She also seemed the most down to earth of all his summons so far, and she'd immediately agreed that it was a good idea. She'd started suggesting specific summons he could call, and, fool him, he'd immediately started summoning.

Then he'd been introduced to Evangeline, which had led to Chachamaru, which led to Satomi, who led to…

Somehow, in the space of a couple of hours, he'd managed to summon more than twenty succubi. Poor him.

Because he of all people should know what _twenty sex demons_ would want!

And he just _had_ to get the Narutaki twins too…

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When Naruto finally made his request, Mana had been all too happy to comply, slipping him a kiss on the cheek and a whispered suggestion that they get to know each other better. He blushed.

When Hinata was finally revived and the request passed, she almost got flustered, nearly fainted again, and turned into such a pile of jelly that by the end of the hug, Naruto was all that was keeping her on her feet. _She_ blushed.

When it was Yami's turn, she pouted and asked why he just wanted a hug, then gave him the same 'what the heck is it with this girl?' kiss she had during the elimination fights. _He_ blushed.

Yami then suggested maybe they could all blow off training with their sensei's and do a little 'creative taijutsu' of their own. Hinata blushed and, when Mana finally explained it to him, so did Naruto.

Hinata didn't know whether she should be relieved, annoyed, gratefully or ungratified as she watched Naruto rushing off to see what else his sensei needed him to do for his 'special training' in summoning.

Yami, being the horny little monster who wanted Hinata to lose her virginity so _she _could get– um, that is, like the good and supportive girlfriend she is, had Hinata charge all the cards she was carrying with the Puzzle, kissed both her and Mana good bye, and followed him.

Thus, she was properly pissed off when Jiraiya sucker-punched Naruto.

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Inu-Yasha was royally pissed off when the perverted frog idiot knocked out Naruto. The Robe was strong, true, but getting sucker-punched by a ninja was no laughing matter. Besides, it didn't do much for punches– to Inu-Yasha's personal painful experience– as that was more push-y and less cut-y.

Shippo wasn't any help. The seal that resulted from the Fourth using that obscenely lethal and overpowered jutsu to seal him in while the two of them were drunk– why else would a darling like Shippo actually attack Sango and Miroku's descendants? Why else would the Yondaime use a suicidal technique and saddle his son with the aftermath without realizing all possible consequences?– was just too good. Heck, it would take some kind of weird dark magic to let him out…

But that was all beside the point. For Jiraiya the idiot, had just thrown Naruto off a cliff in the hopes it would help him access Shippo's power. The fox didn't see the point. He was more than willing to give Naruto all the power he needed, all he had to do is ask…

Oh.

The two looked through Naruto's panicked eyes as stony spikes flickered past them.

They were so screwed.

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Jiraiya was wrestling with his conscience over the advisability of throwing a kid down a seemingly bottomless pit to die– heck, he'd barely finished with the 'push'– when he suddenly felt a huge burst of chakra behind him.

"YOU BASTARD!" Yami yelled, then delved into a series of Egyptian epithets that she was surprised she remembered. She had as many cards as she could reach held tightly in both hands, a mish-mash of Magic, Trap and Monster Cards that had _all_ been charged and ready to use, Byakugan blazing.

Jiraiya wondered how the heck she'd managed to slip over his senses, preparing himself to calm down an obviously distraught and upset girl. Then she started summoning things…

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Naruto blinked as he found himself in a dark, wet, creepy place.

"Hello?"

(Read '**_Harry Potter and the Collided Worlds_**' by **Sokai**, story id 2502930)

– **To be continued…**

(Read '**_Harry Potter and the Collided Worlds_**' by **Sokai**, story id 2502930)

A/N: just want everyone to know, I now have fanart for this in my profile. Tell me what you think.

Please review, C&C welcome. Although I've always wondered why this gets fewer reviews than **_Uzumaki Harry_**…

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	16. Kyuubi No Kitsune And Other Silliness

A/N: lots of time jumps ahead.

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 16: Kyuubi no Kitsune And Other Silliness

Disclaimer: I don't own, please don't sue.

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After some walking, Naruto finally reached… he blinked to make sure he was seeing it right. Some silver-haired guy standing in front of a game-board in front of a door? Even as he watched, a hand reached out from behind the bars and moved a piece on the board.

The silver-haired guy must have heard him, because he suddenly turned around and fixed an annoyed look at Naruto. "It's about time you got here, shrimp," he said in a familiar voice.

Naruto boggled. "Inu-Yasha?"

"Who were you expecting? The Gobi no Youko?" Inu-Yasha said, before spinning around and pointing at the hand, which had been trying to sneak a piece. "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"

The hand gave Inu-Yasha the finger before withdrawing between the bars.

"Hey, come back here!" Inu-Yasha yelled, diving over the board, only be squashed under a giant orange paw.

"_Osuwari,_" a gigantic, very smug voice said from behind the bars.

"_Shippo, get your paw off of me!_" Inu-Yasha cried.

"Shippo?" Naruto said, frowning thoughtfully. "The kitsune kid?"

"HEY! I'M NOT A KID!" a gigantic orange face with enormous teeth and huge eyes.

"**_AHH!_**" Naruto screamed girlishly, falling down on his butt and trying to press himself through the wall.

The giant face laughed. "Yup, definitely Yondaime's brat. _He _screamed like a girl too."

Naruto immediately frowned. "I did not scream like a– Yondaime?"

An enormous sigh. "Great. Another dumb blond."

"HEY! I'M STILL UNDER HERE!" Inu-Yasha reminded them.

"HEY! I'M NOT A DUMB BLOND!"

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Meanwhile, back up, Yami was exercising her evil muscles. Jiraiya was currently finding himself dodging the effects of Thousand Knives, Bear Trap, Massacre Machine, and Drill Bug, all helped by the effects of Attack Guidance Armor. Yami was personally apply Electro-Whip to his person, and Jiraiya wasn't finding that the least bit fun.

"– stupid pervert, now I'll never get laid, if Naruto dies, I swear I'm using Brain Control to make you sleep with every gay man in Fire Country–" Yami ranted, practically frothing at the mouth.

Suddenly, there was a gigantic burst of smoke.

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Naruto blinked as he found himself sitting on top of a giant red frog wearing a robe with a pipe hanging off his mouth. "Huh?"

_Hey, it's Gamabunta! _Shippo said cheerfully, glad their first conscious chakra exchange had been so successful. The fox had been more than happy to pay 'rent' and in fact encouraged Naruto to do it often, saying it wasn't doing anyone any good just sitting there in Naruto's stomach. _Say 'hi' to him for me, Naruto-kun._

"Hey!" Naruto said, jumping up and down on Gamabunta's nose until the frog boss looked at him, almost going cross-eyed. "Um, Shippo says hi."

Blink. "Huh?"

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"NARUTO-KUN!" Yami practically screamed as she glomped on to her boyfriend the minute he hopped off Gamabunta's back. "I was so worried about you! Come on, let's go find Hinata and Mana so we can celebrate your survival with some creative _taijutsu_."

"JIRAIYA!" Gamabunta yelled. "What's the big idea throwing a little kid like that off a cliff? Do you know how irresponsible that was? As a father of 6,764 children, I am appalled at your actions. Why, if it hadn't been for Shippo helping him– he got over the hangover eleven years ago, did you know that?– the kid would be ninja pizza!"

Jiraiya was too busy being harangued by the giant frog-father to notice his profusely nose-bleeding student being dragged off by a girl wearing a grin fit for _him_…

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Meanwhile, Shukaku was doing his best to drive Gaara insane.

_I love you, you love me …_ the raccoon crooned.

"NO! MAKE IT STOP!" Gaara cried as he tried to concentrate on writing his essay for _Psychology Today_ ("The Similarities of Schizophrenia and Demonic Possession").

This was the real reason he'd been so willing to kill Washamaru. The bastard probably _knew_ what would happen when he'd showed him that tape of Barney…

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"SASUKE-KUN!" Ino cried, and Sasuke quite visibly slumped as the other fangirl appeared. He tried to ignore her and get on with training, but that was kind of hard to do when she and Sakura insisted on greeting each other by sucking each other's brains out (he _was_ still a guy, after all).

"Sasuke-kun," Ino said after she'd extracated herself from Sakura, who gone to thwack Kakashi a few for taking pictures. "I made you a good-luck outfit for the chuunin exam finals. Wear this and you're guaranteed to win!"

With that, she brandished a black outfit, to the sounds of Sakura siccing Keroberos on the jounin.

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "What is that, a full-body condom?"

"Isn't it gorgeous?" Ino gushed, not seeming to hear the sarcasm. "It'll show off your cute little butt really well, not to mention your legs and–" any other things it'll show was lost as Sakura yelled at Yue for trying to save Kakashi's porn collection from Kero's flames.

_I am not letting you wear that!_ Sesshomaru exploded. _It's perverted! The son of Inu-Taisho is not letting his link to this plane be clothed like a sex-toy!_

Sasuke was just about to open his mouth to declare pretty much the same thing, when a chill seemed to go through him, and somehow he knew, just _knew_ , that he'd be wearing that. After all, it wasn't like he'd ever been able to stop Tomoyo from dressing him up as a princess during that play, or that leather corset with the rings and the buckles and the…

Sasuke blinked. When had he ever worn a leather corset?

In Ino's hands, the condom– er, outfit, pulsed evilly, like a corrupted shard of the Shiko-no-Tama.

Somewhere, Sesshomaru tried to commit seppuku and found being a spirit had it's downsides…

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This was it. Kenshin, not being able to stomach (technically, he didn't have a stomach anymore, but that was beside the point) Shishio's boasting about 'super-technique' (it was a flaming fart, for crying out loud!), had devised his own. It drew on his goodliness, smiling-in-the-face-of-stupidity, and was a protective rather than destructive technique. He was all set to get Harry to try it out and show how it was infinitely better than Shishio's little bad breath (not that he was competitive or anything…).

Just one problem.

It was really hard to do that when Harry was insisting on sucking face.

_Aren't they done yet? _Kenshin whined, risking a peak at what Harry and Temari were doing and quickly turning around. _Those two are going to die if they don't come up for air._

_Somehow I don't think they care,_ Kagura said, before turning back to Sojiro and continuing her rant on what an ass Naraku was from where she left off (Sojiro, for his part, nodded along and commented on how disturbing working with a crossdressing maniac with the hots for his boss and a dirty old man with a giant for a henchman was).

Shishio, meanwhile, was traumatized at realizing Kamatari had the hots for him…

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"Hermione, what are we doing in China?" Ginny asked her rather frazzled girlfriend.

"What makes you think we're in China?" Hermione asked, trying to read the map and her GPS locator at the same time.

"Well, that big wall is a hint."

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"You look silly," Voldemort told Orochimaru, looking at him in the Kazekage outfit.

"It's a robe," Orochimaru said, trying to get the hat from falling off. "You're used to wearing a robe. How can _you_ of all people call a robe silly?"

"That is not a robe, that is a dress," Voldemort insisted.

"It's a robe."

"Dress."

"Robe."

"Dress."

"ROBE!"

"DRESS!"

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"Congratulations Tenten," Tenten's mother said, smiling proudly at her daughter. The girl had her hair in a thick braid and was wearing an outfit not unlike her usual ensemble, but the shirt was blue and the pants not as baggy. "You have passed and learned everything I can teach you… for now. There are always other techniques, other moves and forms, hidden in the library or in peoples minds. I even know some things I haven't taught you yet. But for now, suffice to say that you have passed your training and ready to be recognized as an Apprentice Grandmaster of the Saotome Clan Anything Goes Taijutsu."

"About time," Tenten said.

"Language, girl!"

"Sorry," Tenten said, correcting herself. "About damn time!"

"Better," her said, nodding approvingly (the Saotome are messed up. With their ancestors, it can't be helped). "There is only one more thing you must do to prepare for the next stage, which will go beyond the chuunin exam (although I would still like you to pass, dear). You need…"

Dramatic pause. Tenten yawned, and her mother once more nodded approvingly.

"… a fiancé," she finished. "It just so happens I set something up for you before you were born."

Crazy, those Saotome.

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Hyuuga Hiashi, recently recovered from the Mind Crush his daughter's dark-side-and-girlfriend had put him through (with a little help from Time Magician) since Yami hadn't wanted Hinata having to deal with the Clan's matters just yet, looked up from his desk as his phone rang. With trembling hands– he was still a little weak from being locked in his own mind– he picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hello, Hiashi-kun?" his old teammate, Saotome Nodoka (nepotism makes things much easier), sang from the other line. "Remember that old agreement I had with your brother? Well, I need you to activate it now."

Hiashi blinked. "_That_ old agreement?" he asked. "But don't you have a, well…"

"Don't worry, Tenten is positive for the family condition," Nodoka said. "We'll have the ceremony as soon as possible."

"That might be a while," Hiashi said, the few embers of evil not doused by the Mind Crush stirring as they recognized a viable outlet. "Neji's still in the hospital from the beating Hinata gave her."

"We have a modified family ceremony that doesn't require her presence," Nodoka said, and a small evil flame burst inside Hiashi as he grinned. "Just think of how happy Neji will be when she finds out she's engaged!"

Somewhere in Konoha, Hyuuga Neji woke up screaming from a nightmare. She'd dreamed she'd been assigned to give Lee a makeover, but no matter what she did, his eyebrows **_JUST WON'T COME OFF!_**

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– **To be continued...**

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A/N: minor tributes to **chibi-onna1**, of ffnet, and **sora-ko** of deviant art.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	17. CHUUNIN EXAM!

A/N: I decided to stop delaying the inevitable…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 17: CHUUNIN EXAM!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Please don't sue me.

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Beneath the Kazekage outfit, Orochimaru was wearing a gag.

Why? Well, this was the only way he could keep himself from laughing like the evil maniac he was.

Today was the day he set his 'DESTROY KONOHA AND FINALLY BURN THE SCHOOL! BWAHAHAHAHA!' plan into motion. His Sound-Nin were in place, and the Sand stooges were ready.

Ah, it was a good day to be an evil overlord…

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Harry adjusted the black headband Temari had given him, tightening the cloth around his brow, keeping his hair back. She said she'd been getting tired of the way his hair kept tickling her face. It looked good, and Soujiro had approved. Considering Shishio and Kenshin were still arguing about something or other– again– that was the only second opinion he was going to get.

He wondered what this chuunin exam final entailed. Hopefully, it wasn't anything like the Triwizard final. Now, _that_ had been a disaster…

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Temari was having a crisis of conscience. Not surprising, since she'd been enjoying herself heavily up until them, going on nearly daily dates with Harry. Now, the hour to institute THE PLAN was upon them, and all sorts of things were going through her mind. What if Harry was caught in the chaos? What if he died? What– GASP!– what if she ran into him and was ordered to kill him?

She was really starting to not like this plan.

Kagura tried to comfort her, but how does one try to perk up someone torn between love and duty?

Her teammates didn't pay her much attention. Baki was in 'I told you' so mode, having done his duty and warned her about just such a conflict of interest when she and Harry had started dating. Gaara seemed to ignore her, looking extra insane, but that could be because Shukaku had been playing 'Song Styles' in his head since last night. He was now singing the Barney song in rap.

Kankuro, arguably the sanest of them, kept inching for the door as Gaara started muttering about killing Barney again and Temari started crying to herself (which was infinitely creepier than talking to yourself, if you've seen it). For the nth time, he wonders whether he was adopted. It's the only way to explain the fact he doesn't have rotted brain cells…

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Hinata stood hesitantly before the door, one hand raised to knock. Inside, Yami was watching the scene, half-asleep as she idly shuffled a deck of cards in her Soul Room.

_Oh, just get on with it, **koibito**, _Yami said, giving Hinata a little nudge. _If she starts getting bitchy, I'll set her straight._.

Taking a deep breath, Hinata knocked on the door, them quickly opened it before she lost her nerve. "Neji-nisa– er, Neji-neesan?"

The girl looked up, halfway through wrapping bandages around her legs. "Hinata-sama," she said coldly. Quickly, she stood up and bowed, although the gesture in no way conveyed respect. Quite the opposite, really.

_Okay, she's being bitchy,_ Yami said. _May I?_

_Please,_ Hinata said, relinquishing control.

An eye-shape change, seeming bust lift, and a change of posture that seemed to add inches to her height, and Yami Hinata was smirking at Neji even as her mouth twisted into a seemingly sweet smile. "Neji-_chaaaannnn_," she said, caressing the endearment. "How nice to see you again. Remember me? I helped Hinata-chan kick your butt."

A twitch. Neji clearly recognized her. "You," she said, quickly finishing her bandaging.

"I'm not here to fight," Yami said, recognizing Neji subtly moving to a preparatory stance. "I do have something for you, though!"

"Oh?" Neji said, raising one eyebrow.

Yami smiled brightly, then pulled out a card. Neji saw the image on it for only a moment, but before he could react, a bunch of 'Swords of Revealing Light,' were impaling themselves on her body. "What the–?" Neji said, finding any attempt to move as useless as the last one.

"Relax, this shouldn't hurt– much," Yami appended, before drawing out three cards. "DNA SURGERY!"

"Say what?" Neji said, but before she could add anything to that, she started feeling a little… off. She looked down, noticing her legs looked a little shinier than usual. And were a tad too silvery.

"All Right!" Yami said, thrusting her fist into the air. "Phase one is a success! Subject has been turned into a machine-type. Now for stage two. LIMITER REMOVAL!"

There was a burning in Neji's forehead, but the sensation was overshadowed by feeling of _power_ coursing through her.

"And finally," Yami cried, ignoring Neji's look of amazement. "DNA SURGERY"

Neji shivered as the wrong feeling crept over her again. In front of her, Yami activated her Byakugan, looking at her intently.

"Excellent," Yami said, nodding to herself. "Experiment successful. Halfway there already, Hina-chan."

With that, Yami spun around and strode out of the room. Just as Neji realized she was about to leave her, the dark side stuck her head back in.

"By the way," she said with a grin. "Congratulations on getting engaged."

Neji did the only thing she could, given her circumstances. She stuck her tongue out at her. Boy, was she getting tired of people telling her that…

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Naruto woke up against something soft. And warm.

_About time you woke up!_ Inu-Yasha yelled at him, but he ignored that. Inu-Yasha always yelled in the morning.

_Ohayo, Naruto-kun!_ Shippo said, much more agreeable.

"Mornin'," Naruto mumbled, snuggling closer against the soft, warm thing.

Someone blew in his ear. "Good morning, Naruto-kun," a honey-warm voice whispered, before whoever it was started nuzzling his neck, wrapping an arm and a leg around him.

Naruto's eyes shot open, meeting smiling green ones. He was _this_ close to freaking when he finally remembered. Before he could open his mouth to reply, however, his face was obscured by a wall of blonde hair, and someone began kissing his mouth, a tongue pressing it's way between his lips…

"_Ohayo_, Mana-chan," Naruto finally managed to get out after quite some time, trying to catch his breath. Three days of having girlfriends, and he still wasn't used to this… much. He definitely enjoyed it (when he could breathe) though.

It was a while longer before he could breathe again. When he could, however…

"Hey, don't you have an exam today?" Mana asked between kisses, leaning forward towards his ear again.

Thus, she nearly broke her eardrum at Naruto's sudden cry of "I'M GOING TO BE LATE!". There was a fluttering burst of air, and the Dark Magician Girl suddenly found herself lying seductively on an empty bed. She blinked a couple of times as she realized what happened.

"Darn," she said, snapping her fingers in frustration as the sounds of Naruto in an extreme hurry wafted through the apartment. "So close!"

Not wearing panties isn't as effective as it used to be…

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Somewhere in the north…

"Are you sure this is where the map says we're supposed to go?" Sound-nin one– let's call him Loz– asked his companion (let's call him Yazoo).

Yazoo pointed at the laminated map he was holding. "It says the 'big crater in the north with lots of mist and snow'. This is the biggest– and only– crater here."

"Why are we here again instead of down in Konoha, burning leaves?"

"Tayuya-sama says we weren't able to 'adequately perform our duties' just because we passed out after four hours," Yazoo reminded him, and they both shivered as they remembered the nymphomaniac.

"Right," Loz said. "Let's find what we're looking for, then take our sweet time heading back."

"Let's stop by that racetrack where they use birds."

"Ooh, good idea…"

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Neji kept attacking the log, still confused about her encounter with Yami earlier that morning. That bitch had left her stuck there with those swords until they'd run out, leaving her wondering what it had been all for. Then Tenten and her mother had dropped by to see how she was doing, and she'd had to endure that infernal woman's gushing about she and Tenten would be perfect for each other.

Those Saotome were crazy.

"Hey, Neji, is that you?"

Neji stopped in mid-punch, before straightening and slowly turning around. Naruto stood behind her wearing his red robes, that beat up old sword at his waist. Next to him was that overly-busty blonde in the overly short, slutty outfit that was sometimes at their house hanging around or all over Hinata and/or Yami. "Uzumaki," she said curtly.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with everyone watching the chuunin exam?" Naruto asked, blinking innocently. "Why were you training? And while wearing a nice dress like that?"

Neji twitched. He _had_ to point out the dress, didn't he? Not that she could blame him for pointing it out, since it _was_ kind of obvious, but still… all right, it was unavoidable he'd point it out since not many people trained while wearing a really fancy kimono, but she twitched anyway.

"Don't you have an exam to go to?" she said coldly, trying to hide her bark-scuffed hands in her sleeves.

Naruto blinked as if he'd just remembered, then pointed at her face. "Hey, you have bark on your face."

Automatically, Neji raised a hand to wipe it off, when she suddenly caught sight of her reflection on Naruto's very shiny– he'd polished it for the occasion– forehead protector.

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All across Konoha, people suddenly looked up as a cry of purest joy echoed through the morning air.

From where she was waiting in the stadium, Hinata looked up, smiling slightly.

_Looks like she finally noticed,_ Yami said, and Hinata could hear the smile on her dark side's voice.

Seconds later, a scream of terror echoed through the air.

Naruto had finally noticed how late he was…

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Genma looked at the examinees before him. The sand kids were all clumped together, although the one wearing make up was keeping his distance from the other two. The redhead with the gourd was singing Barney to the tune of Livin' La Vida Loca, while the girl was talking to herself… about what she'd do if she had to kill her boyfriend.

The Hyuuga girl was waiting more-or-less patiently, playing with her fingers. She seemed to be waiting for someone, constantly looking towards the entry gates. Probably waiting for either her boyfriend or girlfriend, if rumor was to be believed. Maybe both. He'd heard she was some kind of schitzo…

The mist-nin was fidgeting slightly, most likely due to nerves. Next to him, the Nara was looking bored, staring up at the clouds. The examiner sighed as he noticed that two other examinees were still absent. This year didn't look to be as promising as they said…

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Up in the stands, everyone winced as they watched Naruto flying in like a hoard was after him. Man, that had to hurt. After the Hokage's speech, though, things began to get started. The two beginning fighters took their places at the center of the ring…

In the stands, Neji sat down hard, eyes still wide and shell-shocked. She kept touching her forehead, where her _hitai-ate_ was back once more…

In the stands, Harry settled down to watch the exam, while Kenshin, Sojiro and Shishio occupied themselves by talking to some girl named Elie Glory…

Next to the Hokage, Orochimaru was slipping another bit of candy under his gag. He had to give his mouth _something_ to do…

An ocean away, Ginny and Hermione _finally_ got to the right town in Japan…

Somewhere, Sasuke was struggling to get his full-body condom and bandages on…

In England, Gabrielle Delacour was relentlessly looking for her boyfriend, Neville…

Somewhere in another universe, Desire had just made Haruno Sakura the obsession of every girl in the world… (but not's related to this story, and we have no idea how that got there…)

In Otagakure, Voldemort was glaring at the TV. 500 channels, and not one good show about an evil wizard killing Muggles anywhere… oh well, this old Mr. Bean rerun will do…

Genma thrust his hand into the air. "The first match! Uzumaki Naruto versus Saotome Tenten… FIGHT!"

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In an old crumbling castle, a pair of Sound-nin– let's call them Biggs and Wedge– crept down deep into the dungeon…

"Are you sure this is the place?" Weggs asked, looking around nervously.

"That's what the maps says," Biggs said, gesturing with the map that Orochimaru-sama had brought from some roadside antique store run by some woman named Yuuko. "See, right there."

Wedge looked. "Oh, right… according to this, it should right in…" he looked around, before pointing at a doorway, "…THAT room!"

Without waiting for his companion, Wedge ran into the room, heading for the center of the room where there was an X marked on the map. Charging his fist with chakra, he pushed the spot.

Biggs entered just in time to see Wedge get gutted by thousands of chains emanating from a evil-looking sword, glowing darkly as it an single demonic eye stared from the hilt…

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: please check out my profile and deviant art account for lots of fanart…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	18. Naruto versus Tenten

A/N: to **BakaHammerGirl**, who likes Tenten so…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 18: Naruto versus Tenten!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everyone who's read this far should know that by now.

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_You're fighting a girl?_ Inu-Yasha said derisively. _Oh, please_. _This is going to be a snap!_

_You're lucky Kagome, Kikyo and Sango aren't here to hear that,_ Shippo said dryly.

Outside Naruto's head, expectations were running high as people waited for the match to begin. Though the Saotome clan usually kept a low profile, many knew and remembered the exploits of it's past members and bets were being made not as to whether Tenten, the latest Apprentice Grandmaster, would beat Naruto (beating the dead last was a given), but how long it would take her.

Upon hearing this, Yami and Hinata were not pleased.

_Let me at them!_ Yami ranted snarling and barely held in check by Hinata's half-hearted effort. _I'll tear them to shreds! I'll send them screaming to the Shadow Realm! I'll seal their souls into toilets! I'll–_ and on and on she raged.

Hinata's "No" was very reluctant.

In other places in the stands, the chances of the participants were being discussed.

"I'm not too sure of Naruto's chances," Harry mused, absently stroking the _sakabatou_ as he looked down on the two squaring off. "Granted, he's got a big sword, but I don't think he's really used it much. Besides, isn't that the sword from the trunk I bought?"

"_I've_ seen him use it," Sakura said on Ino's other side as she leaned against her girlfriend. "I'm not sure what good it will do against Saotome-san, though. She's a long-range weapon specialist last I checked. Sure, he can block with it, but eventually she's going to hit him, whereas he'll need to get close to to use that thing. And even though Tesseiga can be used long-range, it's too dangerous for him to use it here without hurting a lot of people."

"How's he going to use it for long-range?" Ino asked the pink-haired girl curiously.

"Some kind of wind slash attack," Sakura answered vaguely.

_Is that like the Kamaitachi?_ Kenshin asked.

_Or Blade Beam?_ Zack threw in.

_Or Silpholion's air blades?_ Elie added.

"You'll see," Sakura said, smiling mysteriously.

Zabuza groaned. "I hate it when women do that," he said.

"Join the club," Harry, Sano, Kenshin, Shishio, Soujiro, Zack and Ino all chorused, thinking about certain women they all knew, loved, and got annoyed by.

Yue, sitting next to Sakura, meanwhile, was flagging down Nabiki, one of Haku's Succubi. "One hundred on Tenten," he said softly.

"YUE!" Sakura screamed aghast, deafening everyone within ten feet of her, poor Ino taking the brunt of the blast. "Are you gambling?"

He looked at her blankly. "Yes," he said, accepting his change and going back to reading Icha Icha Paradise.

Sakura ground her teeth audibly, her usually beautiful face contorted into a horrible expression previously only invoked by Naruto. "HATAKE KAKASHI!" she screamed. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR CORRUPTING MY MOON GUARDIAN!" She then proceeded to comfort her now nearly-deaf girlfriend.

Elie, compulsive gambler, whistled innocently inside her sword.

Down in the pit, Tenten couldn't help but wince as the battle cry rolled over them. Across from her, Naruto gulped, clearly fearing for Kakashi's life.

"Um, let's fight now?" Naruto suggested, drawing the seemingly beat-up Tesseiga.

"Good idea," Tenten said, before grinning and not moving an inch, merely standing there, completely relaxed. "After you."

Frowning for a moment, Naruto charged, Tesseiga elongating in his hands into it's true, kick-ass form in a burst of seeming flame, to exclamations of surprise and awe from those who hadn't seen it yet.

_That's right_, Inu-Yasha gloated. _Be astounded by my coolness!_

_Inu-Yasha, they can't hear you,_ Shippo pointed out.

Naruto swung the flat of the blade at Tenten's head, intending to knock her out as quickly as he had Kiba, but at the last moment, Tenten bent back at the waist, letting the sword pass over her. Spinning while horizontal, she kicked him with her heel. The blond went flying, skidding on his face before coming to a stop thrity feet away.

Up in the waiting area, Hinata winced in sympathy. Yami idly started planning a campaign of retribution on their future-sister-in-law.

Naruto quickly jumped back to his feet, only to find Tenten still standing there, facing him. Growling, he attacked again…

For the next few minutes, everyone was treated to the rather comedic sight of Naruto being warded off and thrown in multiple directions as Tenten stayed nearly rooted to her spot as she bent, tilted, limboed, twirled, and just plain got out of the way before throwing Naruto off.

"Wow," Sakura said. "I thought she'd be using throwing weapons like in the eliminations, but I guess I was wrong."

"She didn't fight like this in the eliminations," Harry agreed.

_The boy's obviously out of his league._ Shishio said dismissively.

_So?_ Elie said. _That doesn't mean he can't win_.

Back in the fight, Naruto was getting pissed. "Stop dodging around and fight me seriously, damn it!" he cried.

"Stop holding back and I will," Tenten retorted, crossing her arms.

"FINE!" Naruto snapped back as he sheathed Tesseiga and dropped into a crouched stance that had the Inuzuka frowning and wondering why that looked so familiar. Curling his fingers into claws, Naruto charged ahead on all fours, leaping at Tenten with a cry of "_Sankontesso_". Light seemed to glint off the nails as they slashed towards the Saotome girl's face, forcing her to finally abandon her position or risk needing to wear a mask.

_FINALLY! _Inu-Yasha cried.

Encouraged, Naruto kept charging, alternating with both hands as Tenten continuously jumped to his left, using the ball of a mace she'd summoned to try and divert his claws. Up above, Hinata, Yami and Mana (who'd gotten left behind by Naruto in his rush to the stadium) cheered as their boyfriend finally seemed to be getting the upper hand. Inu-Yasha was yelling battle cries.

Only Shippo wasn't too happy however. _Um, is it just me, or does it look like she's… smiling?_

Someone noticed it too. _Is she leading him into a spiral?_ Kenshin asked.

Then Shippo recalled something through a twelve year old alcohol haze, about how he'd almost been knocked sober by some pigtailed suicidal ninja– well, actually, it was an account with a grandmaster degree in Saotome Style Evil Accountancy (don't ask what's in the curriculum)– when he'd been led round and round but accidentally ending up killing the guy when he fell on him after he'd done this funky thing with dragons…

In his cage, Shippo's eyes went wide. _CRAP! NARUTO, GET OUT OF THE–!_

"HIRYU SHOTEN HA!"

_**CCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

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Everyone gasped in surprise as Tenten seemed to do a pirouette followed by an uppercut to Naruto's jaw. Experienced ninja and those with sharp eyes were, for a split second, able to note that the punch seemed to miss. Other's with more knowledge and experience working with Saotome's knew that Naruto was done for.

WHOOSH!

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naruto cried as he was launched into the air by his own hot chi.

_I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN!_ Shippo cried.

_SHUT UP! _Inu-Yasha shot back.

SLAM!

Naruto suddenly found himself in a Naruto-shaped crater on the ground, staring up in the sky in shock. His head hurt like someone had dropped Gamabunta on it and then dared the frog boss to dance. "Owwwwww," he moan piteously.

In the waiting area, Hinata was idly giving suggestions to Yami's evil plans as she fretted over Naruto.

"Oh yeah!" Tenten said, thrusting her fist into the air. "Fear my mad skills and my Ascending Dragon Wave!"

_If I wasn't so pissed at her,_ Inu-Yasha growled, _I might actually like this girl…_

With a groan, Naruto pulled himself out of the indentation. "Oww…" he moaned again.

Rolling his eyes (if he _had_ eyes) Inu-Yasha gave him a mental kick. _Stop being such a drama queen!_

Muttering about bossy demons, Naruto got to his feet, looking at Tenten with a new light. She grinned at him, finally settling into a _taijutsu_ stance. Both of them knew the other was about to get serious. "Top that," she taunted.

Grinning savagely, he made a seal. "KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"

Tenten's eyes narrowed as she watched the swarm of Naruto's appear crouch down. "_Sankontesso!_" they all yelled as they charged, streaks in the air as they all slashed at her, forcing her back once again and encircling her to keep her from using the same trick twice. Blood began to fly as they managed to finally hit Tenten. The girl was no easy prey, however, summoning a pair of katana and letting loose herself, becoming a whirlwind of arms, legs and blades as she knocked back the clones, occasionally ripping one back into smoke. Their clone Robes were, if not quite as resilient as the original, pretty tough on their own, however, allowing the kage bunshin to take on a ton of punishment.

Naruto, however, compensated by almost literally spamming her with shadow clones. This did not last. With a cry about chestnuts, of all things, Tenten was suddenly surrounded by thick, quickly dissipating smoke. "That all you've got?" Tenten taunted. "My fiancé puts up a better fight than you!"

Neji briefly wonders whether she should be insulted or complemented, before quickly discarding the subject and returning to her state of bliss…

_KICK! HER! ASS! _Inu-Yasha yelled at him.

_I'M WORKING ON IT!_ Naruto shot back.

_WATCH OUT! _Shippo yelled.

Naruto returned to the present barely in time to avoid the honking huge ball of fire Tenten breathed his way. "What the–?" he said articulately.

"_Gokkakyu no jutsu,_" Tenten drawled. "A little something we got from the Uchiha."

"I gotta get Sasuke to teach me that," Naruto muttered, before drawing Tesseiga and expanding it again.

_FINALLY!_ Inu-Yasha cried.

Sakura's eyes went wide. "Don't tell me that idiot's about to use–"

"_KAZE NO KIZU!_"

The burst of energy streaked towards Tenten, who was barely able to dodge as it hit the ground where she'd been standing. Earth was tossed aside as furrows were torn on the ground.

"Finally, a challenge," Tenten said as she got back to her feet in time to avoid the next attack.

In Naruto's defense, he wasn't out to kill Tenten. He was deliberately aiming to miss, knowing that the backwash from the attack would be enough to stun her. Plus, it looked damned cool!

"Um, is that what you meant, Sakura-chan?" Ino said, only to see her girlfriend banging her head and muttering about "that idiot."

_I wanna learn how to do that…_ Zack whimpered.

_Take notes, Sojiro, take notes…_ Shishio muttered, staring in rapt fascination.

_Hmm… more like Explosive Wings that just Silpholion…_ Elie mused.

"Am I the only one worried about the girl?" Harry muttered.

It certainly _looked_ like he should be worried. Naruto's plan was slowly paying off. The near-misses were taking their toll, and it was dangerous for Tenten to get closer, as she was more like to get hit up close. This, however, did not stop the weapons-mistress-and-apprentice-grandmaster-of-anything-goes.

"_Yama-Sen-Ken! Kijin Raishü Dan!_" Tenten cried as blades of vacuum flew from her hands, ripping small holes through Naruto's robes. Some came out followed by blood.

Naruto flinched just as Tenten seemed to blur and disappear. Then next thing he knew, Tessaiga had gone flying as Tenten backhanded his wrists, a kick to the chest sending him in the other direction. Back flipping, Tenten caught Tessaiga before it hit the ground, sending to the wall with a flick of her wrist. It imbedded itself about fifty feet up, quivering slightly.

_Inu-yasha?_ Naruto cried in alarm, knowing how the hanyou's spirit was bound to the blade.

_Still here_…his voice said, although it sounded a little strained. _Tessaiga's not just the blade, it's the sheathe too. **DON'T LOSE IT!**_

_Got it,_ Naruto said, as he got back up, feeling Shippo sending his chakra into him to heal his wounds. He could really get used to that…

"_Saotome Anything Goes Taijutsu Jyuken:Hakke Rokujuyon Sho!"_

"**_SAY WHAT?_**" Neji, Hinata, Yami, and a lot of the younger Hyuuga, not to mention a ton of nin in general, exclaimed.

"Father…?" Hanabi asked, looking at her dad, who had palmed his face when he'd seen Tenten getting int oa distrubingly familiar stance.

"The Saotome's form of _jyuuken_ is taken from us," he explained for everyone's benfit as Naruto got pummeled. "Instead of using _Byakugan_ to spot the tenketsu points, they extensively study anatomy and memorize their locations. It's something we try not to think about." Damn the Saotome and their tendency to learn everything they see. They were worse than Uchiha that way.

_Note to self: use Drill Bug on Tenten,_ Yami growled.

_Make it two,_ Hinata suggested.

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**_CRAP, THAT HURTS! _**Naruto cried in his head, since he was in too much pain to actually use his mouth to talk.

While Shippo waffled around, since he really wasn't sure how to help with this, Tenten strode forward confidently, one hand on her hip. "I've gotta admit, you're not half-bad for supposedly being the dead last, but it ends here. You might as well give up and make things easy for you."

"I don't give up," Naruto managed to choke out as he struggled to his feet, impressing Tenten, all Saotome and Hyuuga present, and anyone who'd been on the receiving end of a _Rokujuyon_. "It's not my ninja way."

"I can respect that," Tenten said. "But a Saotome never loses. You're going down!" With that, Tenten settled down into a battle stance, arms raised and ready.

"There's a first time everything," Naruto choked out. _THINK OF SOMETHING! I CAN'T USE MY CHAKRA HERE!_

Shippo cringed and wracked his brains. _I guess you can use mine…_

"Hah!" Tenten said, her family's bravado shining through. "If you manage to beat me, you can have free ramen from my family for life!"

Time seemed to stop as Tenten demonstrated the family tendency to stick their foot in their mouth.

She blinked. "Was it something I said?" she asked, sensing the change in mood.

In the stands, everyone who knew Naruto shook their heads in pity.

"That poor girl," Keroberos said solemnly.

"Is _so_ going to get pawned," Sakura finished the thought.

_Shippo…**GIVE ME POWER!**_ Naruto cried.

All Tenten managed to see was a big ball of orange before she got hit by what felt like three planets and a meteor…

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Tenten's eyes snapped open and she found herself looking at the concerned faces of her team, as well as her mother.

"She's awake!" Lee cried unnecessarily. Instinctively, Tenten summoned a mallet from thin air and whacked him one.

"I… lost?" Tenten said.

Her mother nodded. "He managed to pull a trick fast enough to overcome you," she said. "Don't be sad. Despite the family motto, we get defeated occasionally. However, if you manage to better yourself and defeat the one who beat you in your next fight, it's not losing, just a 'minor setback'."

Tenten nodded, knowing the family excuse my heart. She clenched her fist, her battle aura flaring slightly. "Uzumaki Naruto…" she murmured as people backed away slightly, feeling her power. Abruptly, she thrust her fist in the air. "I swear, on my nindo, from this day forth, I will not rest until I can defeat my eternal rival, UZUMAKI NARUTO!"

Somewhere upstairs, Naruto felt a chill go down his back in the midst of his four-way hug with Mana, Hinata and Yami…

Lee twitched. "She stole my schnicht," he murmured, before bursting into tears. "Tenten, you finally see the power of the path of the Green Beast!"

Nodoka knuckled away a tear as Lee and Gai started crying. "Ah, she's developing her first neurosis and fixation!" she cried. "It's so beautiful!"

Neji and Hiashi, there because of familial obligation (this was Neji's fiancée, after all) both twitched. "Just like when she was a genin," Hiashi muttered.

"I'm marrying into _this?_" Neji muttered. "What did I do to deserve this…?"

Somewhere, Hinata felt a chill up her spine…

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"Well, that was… unexpected…" Harry muttered as he collected the fortune he'd made betting on Naruto. He'd only done it as a sign of support for the boy, who he'd come to like, but he really didn't think he'd _win_…

He was glad for the 10,000 to one odds…

_I wonder where that girl learned to hit…_ Sano muttered from Zabuza's general direction.

_Who cares as long as they don't hit us,_ Kenshin said. Those kids had been scary…

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Loz and Yazoo, after recovering what they'd been sent for, had gone to where they bet the giant birds and gambled a little, coming out with more than they'd come in. Along the way, they'd found a rainbow-colored rock that had glowed nicely. Since it was pretty, the decided to bring it home…

_Never _pick up strange glowing rocks!

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Succubus Nabiki is not Tendo Nabiki. Or is she…?

Need I remind you all that when Cologne first used the dragon on Ranma, he was able to get right back up again and yell his head off?

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OMAKE by BakaHammerGirl 

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Naruto came flying into the stadium and skidjumped across the ground a few times before flipping up to his feet. A look of panic and fear was on his face. "Everybody run! There's a hoard of Bulls heading right towards us!"

People looked at him with looks ranging from amusement to aspiration.

"Naruto" Shikamaru began. "Why would a hoard of Bulls be stampeding towards the stadium?"

Naruto was anxiously hoping from one foot to the other, looking like he would want to be anywhere but here. "I don't know! I was on my way here when they suddenly started chasing me- they came out of nowhere!" Suddenly his head perked up and his ears twitched. His eyes widened. "They're here! Head to high ground!" Before you could say 'Shippo', he threw Hinata over his shoulder, dashed towards the stadium wall and power jumped onto the roof. Turning his head back he called down to them a 'Run while you can!' and then dashed off to an unknown safe hold.

The Gennin, Examiners, Kage's and civilians ages, stared dumbly at the place Naruto formally was. All was quite until someone raised a question.

"Are they disqualified?"

Before Genma could consider it, a low bling was heard.

"What, is that?" voiced Temari. The bling was quickly getting louder, and a faintly murmured chant with it.

"Where is it coming from?" Shikamaru asked himself as heads turned in confusion, and people began to get nervous. The sound was almost loud enough for them to make out the chant.

Gaara, who had been singing, suddenly turned his head towards the gate where Naruto came flying in with his eyes wide. Without a word he dashed off in the same manner Naruto did, only without the warning to them. Temari and Kankuro made to fallow him; but before they could, the cement, metal enforced, exploding tag/jutsu proof wall exploded outwards enraged bulls tearing threw it as if it were paper.

"TRAMPLE THE RED! KILL THE RED! RED IS THE BAD COLOR!" Chanted the bulls as the charged through the once solid wall and at the Chuunin hopefuls. There was only two words spoken as the Gennin ran from the stamped, and it perfectly summed up the situation and the looks on they're faces. It was spoken by Tenten.

"OH FUCK!"

A little over a mile away, Tentens mother wiped a tear from her eye as she sniffled. "I'm so proud of her."

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End 

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Please review, C&C welcome. Up next: **_WAR!_**

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	19. Prelude to Invasion

A/N: and to think this started as a Harry/Kenshin crossover-fic set in Naruto…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 19: Prelude to Invasion

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everyone who's read this far should know that by now.

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After Kankuro backed out of his fight wth Haku- personally, Harry couldn't blame the guy; he still hurt whenever he thought of _his_ fight with the Mist-nin- it was Temari's turn.

"Go Temari-chan!" Harry cried. "Oy! Nabiki-chan! A thousand bucks on Temari!"

"You're going to lose your money, Potter-san!" Ino said, pulling out her own cash and handing it to Nabiki to put on Shikamaru, ignoring Sakura's scandalized cry of "Ino-chan!". "Shikamaru is going to win this match!"

"We'll see," Harry said as the two glared. You could almost _see_ the lightning crackling between thier eyes.

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Thus, the two were left gaping at the result of the fight.

"Well, at least she won," Harry said at the same time Ino said, "Well, at least Shikamaru beat her." The two glared at each other again.

_Um, shouldn't you be with your girlfriend now?_ Kenshin said tentatively to prevent imminent bloodshed as their hands inched for thier swords. Harry jumped up at this, scurrying for the stairs to Temari.

"Coward," Ino said, smirking.

"Meilin-chan..." Sakura groaned.

Elie, meanwhile, was crying at losing all that money...

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"You okay?" Harry asked Temari.

She gave him a sickly smile in return. "I'm fine. Just wasn't expecting to win like that."

Alarm bells went off in the young wizard's head. There were a lot of words he could think of to describe Temari's smile– flirting, dazzling, seductive– but sickly wasn't one of them. Things were definitely _not_ fine, no matter what she said. Still, dealing with Ginny and Hermione– for a moment he felt a guilty pang as he though of his two steady girlfriends– had taught him a thing or two about dealing with women when they weren't being entirely truthful.

"Hey, wanna go find a closet or something 'til your next match?" Harry proposed.

Unfortunately, _that _was the extent of it.

Still, Temari flushed, her moral conflicts temporarily forgotten. "Not right now," she nearly stuttered. Taking a breath, she steadied herself, ignoring Kagura's snickering in the background. "Later, I wanna see Gaara's fight. But later, definitely."

Harry returned her grin, before turning to go back to his seat, determined to get Temari's mind off whatever was bothering her…

Temari noted where he was sitting and resolved to stay away from it.

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Sasuke stood tall and proud in the center of the battlefield, Kakashi standing woozily behind him. The Sesshomaru-esque dramatic entrance he'd utilized apparently hadn't agreed with the older man's stomach.

_So, we fight the redhead,_ Sesshomaru said as they waited for the fight to start. _Is it too much to hope the raccoon demon inside him is that perverted monk's flunky?_

_Not likely_, Sasuke answered as he pushed away the dog-demon's latest attempt to take over.

_Damn._

Gaara, meanwhile, was driving himself insane singing the SpongeBob Squarepants song in the style of Phantom of the Opera.

Genma held up his hand. "Begin!"

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The moment Genma gave the signal, the fight was on. Gaara was defending himself with his sand, tongues and tendrils and occasionally muppets lashing out at Sasuke, the other boy lashing back with a whip of light and clouds of acidic poison from his fingertips.

"Show offs," Naruto and Inu-Yasha grumbled as the two– technically four– combatants began to render a dramatic showdown that would probably be drawn out into three anime episodes.

"Go Sasuke-kun/Syaoran-kun!" Ino and Sakura cried, causing people to give them weird looks.

Lee, Gai and Kakash, meanwhile, were having a serious discussion of the fight.

"Gaara's Big Bird is truly frightening," Gai commented.

"Yosh! And the speed of his Kermit the Frog is unparalleled!" Lee added.

"Why do all the tendrils he sends at Sasuke look so phallic?" Kakashi asked.

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_You know…_ Sesshomaru mused as Sasuke dodged tentacle after phallic tentacle. _I'm getting the feeling you've been set up as ninja rape-bait. You wouldn't happen to be related to the Miroku ninja clan, would you?_

Sasuke cursed the daiyouki, cursed Gaara, cursed the beings beyond the four wall on general principle. Now would have been a very good time to pull out some kind of 'highly-improbable, canon-unsupported, obscenely-destructive, WTF, more-powerful-than-anything-he-knows-Naruto-has, Mary-Sue-esque-sharingan-reliant-super-move-of-evil-doom-and-FLAMES!', but unfortunately for him, he didn't have any of those. Utilizing his Sesshomaru-given super speed, he darted in, managing to get a good hit in before having to retreat from phallic tentacles that wanted to do who-knew-what to him. Close to Gaara, there was no room to swing around any of his swords, so he had to rely on his fists and feet.

As Sesshomaru reminisced about his dealings with the blue-blooded ninja clan, Gaara, finally broken out of his funk (caused by the highly damaging Campfire! song that had accidentally gotten lodged in his head) by that last attack, realized he was getting hit and retreated into his eggshell. Sasuke tried to attack, but unfortunately had to divert at the last minute because of the spikes that suddenly shot out.

Gaara's floating eyeball stuck it's tongue out at him. Sasuke pulled out Tokijin and vaporized the eye.

Inside, Gaara started screaming about going blind.

Satisfied, Sasuke leveled the funky-evil sword at Gaara's little defense. "_Kenatsu!_"

A wave of needle-like energy flew at the sand dome, tearing open microscopic holes as they passed through the whole thing. There was another, more painful, hysterical scream.

"_**OMG, I'M BLEEDING!**_"

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"Kinda wussy, isn't he?" Ino commented as Sakura fretted about 'Gaara-kun'.

"He just got acupunctured," Harry pointed out.

Shishio sniffed. _Well, it can't be any worst than–_

_BEING BETRAYED AND BURNED ALIVE! _Everyone chorused, rolling their eyes or the closest thing thereof. Once you got past the sword skills, homicidal tendencies and creepiness, Shishio was just an old guy who liked to repeat stories no one wanted to hear any more. _YES, WE KNOW!_

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Oh dear. Apparently, Orochimaru had run out of little sugary treats to eat. Turning to the disguised pair– technically trio, since the two -Kon brothers were part of the disguise– he was about to order them to make a candy run.

Sakon, who'd fallen asleep, suddenly woke up. Misinterpreting what Orochimaru was about to say, and rather high strung about sleeping on the job, he pulled out a grenade…

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BOOM!

And with that, the invasion was on!

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"Oh fuck," Yami grumbled as she looked around at the chaos beginning to descend. "We haven't gotten to our fight yet! This is so unfair!"

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: and now, by popular demand, all the series used thus far: Harry Potter, Rurouni Kenshin, Naruto, Inu-Yasha, Card Captor Sakura, Darkstalkers, Negima, Ranma 1/2, El-Hazard, Yu-Gi-Oh, Final Fantasy 7, Ragnarok: Into the Abyss, Groove Adventure Rave with cameos from XXXholic and Thousand Arms, and a La Blue Girl reference.

The SpongeBob Campfire song has been known to cause highly murderous tendencies in big brothers. Play it and get ready to be ripped apart by a screaming, rampaging elder sibling. We will be merciless, and we will _enjoy it!_

I would not be surprised if that was why Itachi went nuts.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	20. Invasion Fun!

A/N: VOTE! You'll know what I mean at the end…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 20: Invasion Fun!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. If I said I did, would you believe me?

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Kabuto cursed the Gods of Sucky Timing as the explosion signaling the invasion went off before he was anywhere _near_ ready or at his post. He'd actually been about to take a bite from the hotdog he'd bought, after retrieving it from and killing a little blond brat in overalls with a slingshot in his back pocket who'd intercepted it before it got to the medic-nin (some guy named George had burst out crying and thanked him for that). Staring at the signal, he unhooked his jaw– a little something he'd learned from Orochimaru– and stuffed the food in his mouth whole. No _way_ was he losing it again.

People wondered about the ANBU whose cheeks wouldn't fit behind his mask.

There wasn't time to put everyone to sleep anymore, so he just concentrated on organizing their troops and eating his hotdog…

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Harry helped guide people towards the exits, occasionally repelling an enemy ninja. Well, ninja trying to kill him and civilians, anyway. It seemed a good rule to follow, since he was too busy to focus enough to tell ninjas apart. They were just high-speed blurs accompanied by the sound of metal on metal to him. He _really_ hoped he survived this. Wouldn't it be embarrassing– not to mention bad news for the rest of the world who didn't know about Voldemort still being alive– if he died here?

There was a cry of "Double Blade Beam!" in the background as Zabuza unleashed both big-ass swords, and Harry tried to ignore the wet squelching noise of bodies being blown apart. At least the mist nuken-nin was having fun.

In fact, Zabuza, Sano and Zack _were_ having fun, standing their ground as shinobi stupid enough to attack died all around them. Kakashi, Gai and Lee were all over the place, taking down enemies as they went, and Tenten… well, let's just say she had to actively look for opponents, since no one wanted to get within twenty feeet of her.

In the midst of all this, Gaara apparently disappeared…

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Sasuke eyed the Sand-nin standing across the field who was matching gazes with the examiner guy.

_Puny ningen,_ Sesshoumaru said disdainfully as he and Sasuke ignored the instructions being shot at them. _They are not worth our time. The ones on the roof, however…_

_One smells like the one who tried to follow us in the Forest of Death,_ Sasuke said.

The two did the mental equivalent of looking at each other.

Sesshoumaru shrugged. _Well, it can't be __too__ boring…_

_**Meanwhile…**_

Sakura and Ino stood back to back, sword and wand in hand as they faced off against the Sound- and occasional Sand-nins.

"Hoeeeeee! Can't we all just get along?" Sakura cried as she used Sword and Shield to protect herself, keeping the other Cards back. She really didn't want to hurt anyone…

"Explosion! _Explosion! __**Explosion!**_ Come on you bastards, you wanna piece of me?" Ino shouted enthusiastically, as fiery bursts went off against the non-existent of her orange sword. She clearly didn't share her girlfriend's sentiments.

Yue protected the spectators as they tried to make their way to Harry, arrows and shields casually directed with one hand, never looking up from his little orange book. Fire blew from Keroberos as he fought, occasionally stealing hotdogs from frightened vendors. The Succubi the had been taking bets moments ago had popped out to safety, taking the money with them. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice just then.

Kabuto, looking at all the resistance they were facing in the arena, fervently hoped the invasion was doing better in the other parts of Konoha.

He prayed someone managed to torch the school…

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Saotome Asuka, a certified public accountant, turned around at his place at the head of the line as a bunch of foreign shinobi suddenly burst into the back.

"For Orochimaru-sama!" one cried, throwing a fizzing explosive as the people suddenly started screaming and ducking for cover…

It was quickly deflected by a depleted uranium briefcase, sending it straight towards a convenient bucket of water.

The invaders stared at the smartly dressed accountant, who flicked his purple braid over his shoulder. "Somehow, I don't think you're here to open a new account. As a follower of Sotome Anything Goes Evil Public Accountancy Taijutsu, it is my duty to see you are stopped and beaten to within an inch of your lives!"

The bucket of water exploded, dousing everyone in the room.

The ninja all stared as a formerly smartly dressed, now catgirl accountant flicked her green braid back over her shoulder, glaring at them with slitted blue eyes. "Neko-ken no jutsu!"

Screams started emanating from the bank…

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"Hey, little girl…" the Sound-nin began to taunt lecherously, beforesuddenly screaming in pain as his tenketsu got sealed. He fell over, unconscious.

Neji straightened her kimono, glaring her nose down at the fallen shinobi. "This is the private Hyuuga Women's washroom," she said icily, "The destiny of any male who enters is to die in agony."

Kicking him in the balls for good measure and hitting his sterility tenketsu, killing all his sperm, Neji went to wash her hands.

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As Iruke herded the students out of the classroom, he didn't notice Konohamaru, Udon and Moegi lighting a fire in the trashcan…

At least Kabuto and Orochimaru would be happy someone was trying to burn down the school…

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Shinobi are, as a rule and as a group, very brave, some to the point of suicide. Others are so brave that they meet cowardice coming the other way and survive most encounters, giving them the seeming impression of being cowards when they are actually very brave (that's their excuse, anyway). This is why you could send them to fight against armies, protect movie starlets, assassinations within fortresses whose builders and occupants have read the Evil Overlord List, match-making missions, Bijuu and Saotome lawyers and accountants and all you'll get is a nod, a discrete nervous breakdown, and a look of steely resolve as they went on with it.

This was the sort of people facing off against one of the giant snake summons with three heads rampaging through Konoha. _Jutsu_, explosions, sharp weapons, a rare rocket launcher purchased from Snow Country, and suicide runs were all being used to dramatic effect as they fought valiantly to protect their village…

Then there were those who are just fruit-caking, almond-chocolate, a-whole-HOUSE-short-of-a-load, a-whole—engine-not-running-never-mind-a-few-thrusters, a-whole-room-of-gerbils-and-chipmunks-on-a-diabetes-inducing-sugar-high crazy. Like that girl over there. No, not the one in the trench coat and fishnet top, the other one! Yes, _her!_

Admittedly, she didn't look like much. You're probably thinking, "what's so dangerous about that girl? She's so _cute_! What with the cute white shoes, the pastel pink stockings with little pink bows on the sides, the oodles and oodles of lace petticoats, the pink gothic doll's dress, the falls of lace at the wrists the cute braid with pink ribbons, the cute fluffy bunny purse…"

And then one notices the wooden mallet with the severely over-sized head, thrice, even four times as wide as any mallet has a right to be. It, too, has a pink ribbon tied to it, with a chain on the end of the haft connected to a cute, fluffy bunny-head keychain. She held it upright, sometimes laying it on the crook of her arm like a baby, talking and giggling at it…

Add in the fact that she was walking through the chaos of the battle zone seemingly without a are in the world and, well….

One of the brave shinobi, a young kid who was probably recently promoted and still doesn't know all the ins and outs the more experienced ones do, finally noticed the girl in lace and Stabbing Your Eyes Out Pink and, after getting over his temporary blindness, tried to warn her away.

"Oh, don't worry about me," the girl said brightly, gesturing towards her mallet. "Sou-chan will protectme." She smiled at him, and he could almost _see_ the flowers blooming behind her as the enamel on his teeth began to rot away.

The giant snake, noticing the blazing pink beacon of lolita-goth, lunged forward one of it's heads at the behest of it's sweet tooth. It's blood sugar was kinda low…

There was a _SHLING!_-like effect as an evil pink light went on in the girl's eye. A blur of motion and a sonic boom CRACK! resounded. The head that had darted down snapped up, one side of it's jaw dislocated and hiss-screaming in pained agony, head moving woozily from side to side.

All combat stopped as nin from all sides stared at the girl. Nin older than the young guy from before sagged in relief at seeing the clan symbol embroidered on her sleeves. A water-drop on a cloud. Saotome.

"Finally we can relax," a guy wearing an eye-patch said, moving back and sitting on a ledge as he pulled a sandwich from his pocket, other leaf-nin imitating him as their enemies stared in confusion.

The Saotome posed dramatically asa heroic light shone behind her, her form outlined by a blazing hot-pink battle aura. "Foul beast, you have dared to impinge upon the peace and prospeiry of my beloved village!" this with a crazy pink glint in her eye. "In the name of the Leaf, I, Mallet-Mistress Saotome Hanma-chan, the Shining Pink Hammer of Konoha, am going to pound you to dust and have you as my new wardrobe! _Bakayarou!_"

The leaf-nin applauded and cheered as their enemies blanched, staring in horror as the girl began to pound the snake in a blaze of evil pink. One thing about the Saotome Clan, they were fun to watch as long as you didn't get involved.

Once more, the Leaf thanked the Kami the crazies were on their side…

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Temari and Kankuro kept looking over their shoulders as they carried Gaaraaway. Kagura kept reassuring her that they could take care of any pursuers but that didn't stop the blonde from worrying. What if Harry came after them…?

"I hope Harry's not coming after us," Kankuro said and Temari snapped her head toward her brother. "I'd hate to have to fight him."

Temari stared, unable to believe what she was hearing.

The two freaked as they felt Gaara move between them. He was nodding blearily. "Harry… nice," Gaara slurred. "Almost… not want to KILL HIM!"

Temari figured that would be the most ringing endorsement for Harry she would hear.

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Ino frowned as she thought. Something felt off about the universe , but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Nevertheless, she felt it; an emptiness in the world…

She turned towards Sakura, intent on asking her opinion, and abruptly solved the problem.

Sakura was gone.

"SAKURA-CHAN!!!!!!!" Ino cried, Ethelion bursting forth…

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"Kaze No Kizu!" Naruto cried for the nth time, the wave of energy flowing from Tessaiga and slamming uselessly against the dark cubic barrier trapping the Hokage.

The ANBU waiting closeby winced as the stray energy washed over them, raising the hairs on the backs of their necks. Up close, that attack was frickin' scary!

There was the gentle sound of someone landing on the roof tiles, the soft slide of a blade being sheathed, and a rather loud, disdainful sniff. "Dobe, you two are idiots."

Naruto rounded on Sasuke, obviously pissed. "Shut up, you bastards! We don't see you two doing anything!"

The watching ANBU looked at each other uneasily as the plurals. Somehow, they didn't think that was the royal 'we'.

Sasuke just rolled his eyes. "Idiots," he repeated. "You're using the wrong technique."

"Shut up! We don't have to listen to some bastards wearing an emo full body condom!"

Sasuke glared at the blond as he listened to Sesshoumaru intently. He could have almost _sworn_ the daiyoukai had snickered at him…

_How dare they!_ he thought to himself. _Sure, it's not the most modest outfit, but still! How dare they make fun of the clothes Tomoyino made! She crafted this out of the love and goodness in her heart, and I will__**not**__ have them making fun of my… wife's…WTF AM I SAYING!-?-!_

"RED TESSAIGA!" Sasuke screamed, shocking blond, fox, ANBU and both dogs into silence at the sudden explosion. Red eyes spinning, he glared at his teammate. "Tessaiga's red form is a barrier-breaker, remember? This is a barrier, isn't it? Do the math!"

"What does math have to do with it?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke contemplated just killing Naruto and using Tessaiga himself as the ANBU sweatdropped…

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The troupe of Sound-nin followed after the sand genin's pursuers. The info-cards Kabuto-san had given them said that they were stronger than average, but their leader was confident they could defeat two little genin…

Said leader was greatly distracted, however, by the gingerbread house standing in the middle of the clearing. "What the…?"

The door opened, revealing razor-sharp teeth and a tongue made of sticky tape.

Screams rang out as the house ate, beartraps snapped shut and holes filled with acid dissolved the unwary, covering up the sound of the nearly silent needles as they struck physiological weak points with pin-point accuracy. Mere moments later, the clearing was devoid of life.

Two figures stepped in to correct that.

"I admit, Hyuuga-san, your summons are very impressive," Haku said as he swiftly went about recovering his weapons. "A bit dramatic, however."

"Call me Yami, Haku-kun," Yami said, cracking her knuckles as she stretched. The Millennium Puzzle glinted in the light as she inspected her handiwork. "Shall we get going? Can't go letting them escape, after all."

The former mist-nin nodded, the two setting off through the trees. "Gaara'san seemes very strong, Yami-san. Defeating him might be difficult."

Yami grinned. "Don't worry. The gods are on our side…"

Far behind them, red and pink flicked between shadows. "Gaara-kun…"

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Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Vincent Crabbe, Greggory Goyle, Daphne Greengrass, and Blaise Zabini warily took their first step onto the Hidden Countries. Killing the muggle who had tekn them on his boat on general principle, the last Deatheaters began to journey where their lord's mark was tugging at them…

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"Hermione, we're going to a place called Fire Country, right?"

"Yes Ginny."

"Going by the name, it should be a temperate region, right?"

"Um, I assume so."

"So why are there icebergs floating around the boat?"

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"HAAAAAIIIIIYYYYYYYYYY!!!!" Naruto cried as he swung the Tessaiga, it's blade glowing red. It struck the slightly purplish dark barrier surrounding the Hokage, and paused momentarily, before there was a backlash of energy. Three sides of the cubic barrier fluctuated as two of the focuses in the corners reeled from the feedback. The area directly in front of Naruto cracked and shattered, opening before them.

Naruto yelped in surprise as Sasuke pushed them both inside. The crack in the barrier began to close as the Sound Four (technically five right then, and really six, but the Sound don't know how to count) regained their equilibrium. It quickly shrunk to the point where the ANBU couldn't follow, sealin gup behind the two boys.

Inu-Yasha looked at the barrier. _Put more power into it next time. It's not supposed to close like that._

Oroshimaru and the Hokages paused in their battle, staring at the two. Naruto?" Sarutobi said, wide-eyed.

"Sasuke…" Orochimaru hissed hungrily like the pervert he was. Sasuke and Sesshoumaru both felt unclean just hearing him.

Never the less, he drew Tokijin and rested it on his shoulder, ignoring the part of his mind that screamed he should have ofuda. "Mind if we join…?"

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Kankuro stumbled back involuntarily as three _senbon _thudded in his path. Temari called out his name as he fell behind, but he yelled at her to keep going with Gaara…

Turning, he faced his opponent.

"Hello Kankuro-san," Haku said, needles held between his fingers. "I believe we were scheduled for a match…?"

Temari barely avoided a sudden gout of flame as she carried Gaara, losing her grip on her brother as she fell to the ground, barely managing to roll with the force and avoid damage. She moved to her feet, her giant fan in one hand and Kagura's in the other. There was the sound of someone clapping.

"My, you certainly are nimble," Yami said as she eyed her appreciatively, white eyes roaming up and down the blonde's body. Temari swung her large fan, winds ripping towards the other girl. "Castle Walls!" The barrier rose, protecting Yami from the worst of it before dissolving. "Quick too. But for how long can you last… against the darkness of the game…?"

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Kabuto finally managed to swallow his hotdog, and concentrated on keeping away from the heavy-hitters. Not that he couldn't take on the lieks of Kakashi, Gai, Asume, Kurenai and Zabuza, but he'd really rather not…

"Hey, you're Sound, right?"

Kabuto barely managed to block the punch aimed at his head, and for the next several moments was too busy trying to avoid being maimed by fist, foot and blades to fully take in his opponent. A blast of air managed to catch him in the chest, knocking him back against a wall.

"Give up?" the feminine voice said teasingly, and the spy finally managed to get a look at his opponent. His blood ran cold as he took in the pink shirt.

"Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?" he said, remembering the brutality of what hs'ed been hit with.

Saotome Tenten smirked almost arrogantly, a technique she'd learned off her fiancée, as she settled into a ready stance. "You don't know much about my clan, do you? Allow me to enlighten you…"

There was a sinking feeling in Kabuto's stomach, and he doubted it was the hotdog…

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Out in space, two objects, one artificial the other not, began to fall in the general direction of Hidden Sound and the Death Eaters…

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Now VOTE! Which of the three fights would you like to see next?

Yes, I hate _**Dennis the Menace**_. Menace- HAH! Calvin would kick his ass.

There will be no Sasuke-basking here. I _like_ Sasuke. He's kinda like Batman but more obsessed, immature , murderous and not as smart…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	21. Tenten Versus Kabuto!

A/N:

A/N: And now, the first fights!

--

Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 21: Tenten Versus Kabuto!

Disclaimer: I don't own, please don't sue.

--

Kabuto drew his distinctive curved blade, watching Tenten warily. The girl merely smirked at him, confidently, arrogantly. Kabuto darted forward, deciding to keep it simple and going for the throat.

Tenten smoothly parried the strike with one hand, the other blurring with a cry of "_Katchu Tenshin Amaguriken!_". Kabuto barely managed to get it on his armor, which immediately dented. Even through the armor the thing hurt! He spun around, going with the force of the blow and turning it to his advantage as he lashed out with a kick. Tenten darted back, drawing a scroll from her pouch. There was a burst of smoke, and two katars appeared on her arms, gleaming in the light. Tenten's grin was highly reminiscent of it.

Kabuto suddenly had avery bad feeling. He barely had time to pop a handful of soldier pills into his mouth and try to back away as Tenten crossed her arms.

"_Katchu Tenshin Amaguriken! Sonic Blow!!_"

Pain stabbed into Kabuto's body as the blades entered again and again. The force lifted him off the ground, keeping him suspended in midair as metal lanced in over and over.

With a cry, Tenten launched the final blow, the force completely ripping off the front of Kabuto's cloak and tearing off his armor as he flew towards the nearest wall. The medic-nin slammed into it and began to bleed.

"Yes!" Tenten cried. "You're too weak to beat me!"

With that, she threw back her fist, breaking the nose of the nin trying to sneak up on her.

"Oh yeah, I'm so cool," she preened.

The Saotome didn't notice the glow of chakra suffusing Kabuto's body…

--

Saotome Nodoka stood back-to-back with Hyuuga Hiashi, staring at the inordinate amount of Sound-nin surrounding them. "Just like old times, eh Hiashi-kun?" Nodoka said, grinning as she reached into the sleeves of her kimono.

"Hmph," Hiashi said, even as his mind rejoiced. _YES! Hello, misplaced aggression!_

At an unspoken signal, Nodoka jumped in the air, half the idiots chasing after her. The other half charged Hiashi, and were immediately hit with a Heavenly Spin.

Nodoka smirked at the fools charging after her and withdrew her hands.

There was much fizzing.

"_Happo Fire Burst!_"

Hiashi twitched at the cry and subtly checked his underwear. Yup. They were definitely gone.

Nodoka landed next to him, smirking at him. "Lost something Hi-kun?"

"I despise you."

Nodoka just grinned at him.

--

Teuchi, owner of Ichiraku ramen, glared at the shinobi causing trouble in the streets outside his stand. This just wouldn't do. It was bad for business. "Ayame-chan, help me close up and get your gear, will you?"

A few minutes later, the Sound-nin stared at the two figures standing in the street. "Who are you two supposed to be?"

Teuchi posed, chopsticks in hand. "Foul breakers of peace! For the crime of causing chaos unconducive to eating ramen during business hours, I, Teuchi, the Golden Ramen Chef of the Leaf, shall punish you in the name of ramen! Have at thee, enemies of uninhibited capitalism!"

Ayame sighed as her dad launched a barrage of armor-piercing chopsticks. She supposed the theatrics involved in any sort of Saotome training never really went away.

Hefting her depleted uranium bonbori, Ayame joined the charge.

--

Although she began fighting at the arena, Ino didn't necessarily stay there. After they'd gotten the civilians out, she, Harry, Yue and Keroberos had gotten separated. Last she saw, Harry had been running and injured girl to the hospital (where he would probably be taking a stand), Keroberos had staked out a supermarket, and Yue was protecting an adult bookstore proclaiming the much anticipated new book of the Icha Icha series.

Sakura was likely to be very annoyed at Kakashi for that.

As for her… well…

"Hey, Inoshi, isn't that your kid causing explosions at the mall?"

A girl had to have her priorities, after all…

--

Tenten was batting aside small-fry when it happened. Her only warning was the sound of the wind on a tattered cloak. The Saotome tried to dodge, and the hook-like blade tore the back of her shirt open. Pain blossomed as a line of blood painted itself across her shoulder blades.

Darting back, she glared a thte risen KAbuto. Blood soaked his front but his wounds had closed. Already, he was lunging at the smaller girl, knife seeking more blood, Tenten dodging with all the flexibility and agility of her clan– which was a lot.

She knew quite well, however, that this couldn't last. She could feel the burning beginning to spread, recognized the heat of poison. It was fortunate the poison wasn't from her family, or else she'd be dead already.

"You are not baiting me into a spiral, girl," Kabuto said from behind his mask. Those blades had _hurt_! He was lucky he could heal _very_ well, or else he'd have been in big trouble. "The poison is going to keep spreading. At this rate, you will die in five minutes."

"That's four more than I need to beat you," Tenten answered.

So saying, Tenten drew at least five scrolls, throwing them in the air. They unfurled as Tenten went to the offensive, her katars whirling in deadly circles. Kabuto was ready now, however, keeping his distance and using his superior reach to his advantage.

Kabuto grew slightly nervous at the shear number of weapons being summoned. "Whatever you're planning, it won't work."

"Yak yak yak," Tenten mimed, jumping back and raising her hands, chakra strings linking to the… rather _plentiful_ weapons. "Try this on for size: _Sōryū Tensakai_ !"

Kabuto blinked. _Oh fuck…_ he managed to think…

--

Haku stood calmly as he faced off against Kankuro. He recognized the possibility that he was, in fact, facing the puppet. The sand-nin was _very_ skilled at switching himself. Attacking directly wasn't likely to do much good so…

Quickly, Haku pricked his finger, momentairly regretful phrasing it like that, and made a quick sequence of seals. "_Kushiyose no Jutsu!_"

He'd hoped for Setsuna's white feathers. He knew Setsuna, and was pretty willing to pay her price. It was just sleeping with her, which was… bearable. Plus her nodachi gave her significant reach.

He'd hoped for Setsuna. Instead…

The succubus had the look of a puppet. Joints and panels were clearly exposed, standing out against the flesh-tones. Antenna-like things jutted from where her ears should be, parting her pale green hair that fell past her waist. She was wearing what looked like a maid outfit, all black and white, with exposed lace petticoats, garter stockings, big bows, an apron and all the little touches needed to be sexy and just a touches short of slutty. On the back of her head was a key-like metal handle. Strangely-shaped metal wings protruded from her back and head.

With a low, appropriately robotic sound, she turned towards Haku and bowed. "Karakuri Chachamaru, at you service Haku-sama."

Haku tilted his head, his mask obscuring his expression. Behind said mask, the _nukenin_ was going through a series of interesting facial ticks which basically screamed. "ohshitohshitohshit, not another one!"

Kankuro raised an eyebrow. You'd have to be blind to miss all those joints and seams. The Sand-nin came to a quite logical conclusion. _A puppeteer? How'd he get it to talk?_

Haku kissed his dignity good bye. "Chachamaru-san, please assist me in defeating this individual…"

--

"Wah! The snake went away!"

In the middle of a street covered in blood, gore, blood, debris, blood, bodies, and blood, a little girl cried, clutching a mallet like a blunt plushie. A wheel from a cart that had been crushed in the massacre rolled by.

Shakily, Saotome Hanma picked up her mallet, hefting it. Pink shone through the blood, which was soaked into most of her clothes.

The cry chilled the blood of those who heard. It was pure sugar coating a knife. It was chocolate on a mace. It was pink, glitter and unicorn stickers on a chainsaw. It was bratiness reinforced with power.

"I WANT MY SNAKE-SKIN WARDROBE!!"

--

Harry took a short break from protecting the hospital as he bought a hotdog in a bun from some vendor. For some bizarre reason, no one was bothering the vendors who had suddenly appeared at the edges of the fighting, selling everything from snacks to spare weapons and even whole suits of armor.

"You know, that guy looked very familiar," Harry said, watching the guy he'd bought the hotdog from– some guy apparently named Disembowel-Myself-Honorably Dibalah– walk away. The wizard-swordsman leaned against a handy wall, occasionally moving aside his body to avoid a _kunai_ or _shuriken_. "He looked a bit like Mundugus Fletcher. That bugger was selling stuff in the middle of the Battle of Diagon Alley too."

A bunch of Sound-nin drinking from cups of Starbooks coffee looked at him strangely. Harry intently ate his hotdog.

_I used to know someone like that, _Kenshin said. _Every time there was a mob back home, Commit Seppuku Cleanly Diburaru was there, selling moldy rice-cakes, clubs, tea, axes, roast yams, and occasionally locks of my hair and pieces of my sword._

_That happened to me too! _ Shishio and Sojiro said.

"Vendors," Harry muttered.

--

Kankuro had instantly come to hate the other puppeteer. Why?

Well…

Kankuro yelped as he barely dodged yet another eye-laser, barely managing to move what was left of his puppet in front of Chachamaru's rocket punch. Another hole was punched through the hardened wood, making Kankuro whimper. This gave Haku the opportunity to give him a kick in the head.

"I would advise you to surrender," Chachamaru said, reeling her forearm back and locking it into her elbow. "Your weapon has been greatly damaged and you are outnumbered. Resistance is futile."

"Never!-!-!-!-!" Kankuro cried.

Five exclamation points. A sure sign of a disturbed mind.

Chachamaru tilted her head as Haku landed nearby. She looked at her summoner inquiringly. The _nukenin_ drew his needles. "That is unfortunate for you," Haku said. "Chachamaru, continue the attack."

"Understood," the android succubus said, her metal wings opening– both sets of them– and small metal shivs extruding from panels. "Target acquired. Missiles launch."

Kanukro screamed as the missiles streaked towards him…

--

"_**WHERE THE HECK ARE WE NOW?!**_"

Ginny sighed as Hermione railed at the sky. This getting lost thing was getting really repetitive.

--

The group of junior Death Eaters walked out of the antique shop in a daze, not quite sure what had happened. All they knew for sure was that they hadn't killed the scantily-clad muggle woman who ran the store and they had less money than when they'd gone in…

Draco Malfoy looked at the things in his arms that he had unaccountably paid for. They were silly looking metal things. One looked like one of those muggle gonnes with a sword shaped like a barb slapped onto it. The other one looked like someone had taken two swords and put then side-by-side on the same handle! Well, at least he'd look good in the black leather bodysuit…

Pansy Parkinson gingerly handled the round, sharp, spikey piece of metal she was holding, wondering what had possibly possessed her to buy it, along with the pair of muggle weapons that looked like a cross between muggle gonnes and knives. Well, at least she'd look good in the leather bodysuit…

Crabbe and Goyle were equally puzzled as to why they had bought the big stick and boxy-thing that strapped to your arm. They would _not_ look good in the leather bodysuits…

Zabini was surprised he wasn't struggling under the weight of the ridiculously big sword he was carrying. He wondered why he'd bought it. The dark purple stone had glowed so interestingly…

Greengrass walked along, admiring her black leather bodysuit…

Behind them, Yuko laughed her head off…

--

**- To be continued...**

--

A/N: HI! Long time no see, no?

Can anyone guess as to the Death Eaters upgrades…?

Next up is the Temari/Yami fight, along with fight Yami/Gaara. Stay tuned!

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	22. Yami Against the Prettier Sand Sibs!

A/N: Yes, it's been a while. Leave me alone… (goes off to cry)

Feel free to read some of my other fics…

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Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 22: Yami Against the Prettier Sand Sibs! With Interruptions!

Disclaimer: I own none of this. Please don't sue me.

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Sunlight shone down on the scene, leaves whirling emo-ly as the two– technically four– faced off. Temari grit her teeth, keeping Kagura's fan hidden against the inside of her arm as she held her bigger fan warily. In sharp contrast, the rather sluttily dressed Hyuuga in front of her was absolutely brazen, hands on hips thrust out challengingly. A _kunai_ dangled loosely from one hand, the light falling but not glinting on the dulled metal. Only the upside-down golden pyramid on her chest shone.

Temari was wary. Everyone had seen the kinds of summons and what-not this one and her perverted schizophrenic other half could pull off. Would Kagura be up to it…?

Only one way to find out…

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Kankuro had been defeated. Not a lot of ninja had contingency plans for dealing with a flight of missiles, after all.

Haku should have been chasing after the other Sand-nin. He _really_ should have. Unfortunately, Chachamaru was currently extracting her, ah ,'summoning fee' from him…

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Yami and Hinata dodged with all the training given skill at their disposal. Temari's weapon was certainly a problem for them, deadly as it was at all ranges. A variety of minor cuts dotted their leather, as near misses barely killed them. Besides the big gusts of wind she threw, she was apparently also capable of smaller wind-blades, as well as narrow tornadoes out of a clear blue sky.

_This is highly unfair,_ Yami groused as they performed a Heavenly Spin to keep from turning into tornado debris as several of those tornadoes and blades converged on them. It was hard-going: the other ninja had set her winds to cause a counter-spin, reducing the effectiveness of the technique. Their arms bore cuts where the wind had gotten through, and Yami suspected they'd need to buy new sandals when all this was over: she could smell burning rubber.

At last, a short lull came in the fight's rhythm, and Yami took advantage of it, pulling out the cards she sought. "Bear trap!"

SNAP! SNAP! Two metallic jaws snapped on the Sand-nin's feet, causing her to cry out in pain and surprise. Yami dropped the cards, pulling out two more before the other girl could recover. "Kuriboh! MULTIPLY!"

"KURI! Kuri kuri KURI!!!!"

Temari tried to swing her arms, tried to get leverage to use either fan, but the little brown furballs swarmed her in instants. Ridiculously large mouths with just as disproportionate teeth for such small creatures opened and she was looking at enough mouth cutlery to make a shark proud. They bit onto her arms and held on, grasping each other and making furry chains, holding her in place and limiting her range of movement.

She wasn't making it easy for the though. She'd dropped her big fan when they'd bitten but managed to hold on to Kagura's. small flicks of her wrist were enough movement to blast some of the things of her, but she could summon enough wind to get rid of them all. He control wasn't that precise, and tornadoes where hardly a surgical weapon.

"Kuriboh, SELF-DESTRUCT!"

"The fu–?" was all she and Kagura had time to think before the furry things started to glow…

And explode.

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Somewhere, Harry Potter was fighting Sand and Sound ninja. Nothing particularly exciting was happening, just that he was fighting them, but that token mention was enough to remind people he was still in this story too.

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In Hidden Sound, Voldemort was having a scalp massage. This is to remind people he's in this story too.

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"Ooh, shiny…" Luna Lovegood said as she picked up a shiny gold coin with the picture of a Tyrannosaurus Rex on it. Next to it was what looked like a belt buckle with button on the side.

It was probably nothing important…

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Yami and Hinata looked at the result of the battle through shared eyes. Temari was still obviously alive, but unconscious. The explosion was more a pressure wave and a pyrotechnic burst, leaving the blonde ninja bruised but alive. That was good. No sense in killing any hot blondes…

_I hope she's not too hurt…_ Hinata thought, which as a sentiment was very un-ninja but very Hinata.

_She'll live_, Yami confirmed as she moved their body after Gaara. He was still the primary target, after all.

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Kankuro opened his eyes to find himself… well, not exactly healed, but in better condition than he should have been, considering. His eyes darted around frantically. There was no sign of Haku or that freaky sexy puppet he'd summoned up. Not that he was afraid, of course, but you know, he wasn't quite ready right now…

He was debating what to do when he felt a wave of murderous charka, followed by the sounds of lots of old growth trees being turned to toothpicks. One part of him descended into gibbering terror. Another part sighed.

He turned. You, giant killer sand Tanuki, check.

Sighing and lamenting his sense of honor, duty and family that he must have gotten from his mother, because no _way_ could it have come from his father, he went over to back up Gaara…

Behind him, a red and pink movement followed stealthily…

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"You know," Yami mused as she dodged a sand-shuriken, which tore a deep chunk out of the tree she'd dodged behind, "maybe we should have waited for Haku and reinforcements…"

Mana, Mahaado, the Royal Knights, the Magnet Warriors, and various others summoned to fight Gaara all gave her a look that, if it were put into words, would roughly be translatable as "Gee, ya THINK, dumbass? Maybe you should have just dumped a f-----in' GOD CARD on him like you did Hinata's cousin when you got the chance and gotten it over with!" or something along those lines.

Yami gave them a look that said "Hey, who's the boss here, you or me? I don't have to justify my stupid ideas to anyone!" or something like it anyway.

_Um, Yami-chan, maybe we should call a God Card?_ Hinata hesitantly suggested as Gaara tore apart the tree trunk they were hiding behind.

Yami's resolve collapsed like a house of card made of wet tissue paper. Still, she had to salvage her dignity somehow. "Stupid emo red-head!" she declared. "You leave me no choice but to use my ultimate summons! I sacrifice three monsters to bring forth Obelisk the Tormentor!"

As three monsters disappeared and the enormous hulking blue form of Obelisk rose above the trees, drawing back its fist, Yami allowed herself a grin, sure of her victory… only to blink in confusion as Obelisk paused, one fist still upraised and scratched its head.

"What's going o– oh. Obelisk can't see Gaara because of all the trees," Yami deadpanned as she realized. "HE'S OVER THERE, YA– GAH!!!!" Yami cried as her screaming drew Gaara's attention, along with a lot of lethal sand. "Shimatta! It's no use, unless he turns into a bigger target, the God Cards can't fight him effectively! He's too small! If they try to get him like this, they might hit us too!"

_Don't you have a card that will make him bigger?_ Hinata suggested.

"Let me–"

Suddenly, there was the sound of lots of old growth trees being turned to toothpicks. Yami looked up.

"Never mind," she said a bit weakly. But only a moment. In the next breath, all her usual bravado returned. "Obelisk, GOD HAND CRUSH!!!!!"

Power coursed through the gigantic blue being, and his fist lashed to towards Shukaku, the force of his strike enough to kill anything less than a god…

Only to have his hand blast through the enormous animate pile of sand.

"Oh, that is so not fair!" Yami cried out in outrage as the Tanuki wrapped sand around Obelisk in a giant-sized coffin of death…

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Temari and Kankuro's thoughts could be best summarized as "Aw, crap…"

Anything else would have made it sound like they still had some kind of hope.

Kankuro had managed to revive his sister, and the two of them had gone towards where Gaara seemed to be. It has to be believed they are doing it because of some sense of honor, duty and family. Terminal stupidity would just be too depressing.

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Yami's hands went for the rest of her cards. If Obelisk could stop Gaara, then maybe Ra will…

A hand slapped her cards out of her hand, causing them to flutter to the distant forest floor below.

"NO!" Yami cried, her head snapping up to glare at the person who'd pretty much condemned her and Hinata to die. Hinata began praying inside her head.

Sakura smiled serenely at her in a most annoying fashion. "If you don't hurry, you'll never find those again…"

Snapping off an insult in ancient Egyptian, Yami dived for her cards, hoping she made it in time…

The pink-haired girl looked up at the hulking behemoth looming above the trees. The giant mound of sand got a smaller as Obelisk was crushed. She felt a backlash of magic, and a hundred feet or so below, she heard Yami stumbled as she coughed up blood.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Gaara-kun," she said gently, hefting her bright-pink wand. The golden star at its tip gleamed with light…

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Shukaku was feeling pretty good about himself. Enduring all those Barney episodes had paid of, and forcing the brat to watch 'Twilight' during last night's midnight movie marathon to break his mind had finally finished the job. Cage him, will they? Those little human pests had no idea what they were messing with! He was Shukaku, one of the Bijuu! He was a force of nature, the fury of the desert incarnate, silicon particulate death! Nothing, no one, no force could stop him! Gods? He ate gods for breakfast! Now he was going to the little gathering of human insects and kill everyone he could find! What could possibly stop him now?

His enormous ears, the size of buildings, with echo chambers the size of small hills, heard the words, "Sand Card…!"

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Kankuro and Temari rushed to where Shukaku had been standing. 'Had', because of how the giant had suddenly just started… dissolving, all the while swearing and yelling about how this could be happening to him. Coming to the approximate spot where Shukaku's left pinky had been, they stared, Yami, coming from the other side and having managed to recover most of her cards, also stared.

"…and that's why you should become a better person," Sakura said with a smile, clapping her hands together in a cute way to emphasize her point. Sitting cross-legged across from her, Gaara and a cutesy little raccoon sand puppet with golden eyes stared at her in enraptured awe. The could practically _see_ the holy pink light emanating from her and outlining her as a chorus of angels sang and cherry blossoms swirled around.

"Gaara…?" Temari said cautiously, wondering what she'd stumbled across.

"The _f%^&($#$^&(_ Haruno?" Yami said.

Gaara and the little cutesy raccoon sand puppet– in horror, Temari realized it was connected to Gaara– both clapped their hands, wide smiles on the faces– and for the raccoon it was very wide. "Oh, you're right, Sakura-san! From now on, we promise to be kind, caring people who will protect the people around us and do all we can to provide happiness for others!" they chorused.

Temari and Kankuro, unused to seeing Gaara smile without manic, murderous glee, twitched.

"That's the spirit!" Sakura said. "Who knows, you might even end up becoming Kazekage!"

Yami wondered at what point she and Hinata had been drugged. This was clearly a hallucination…

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Beyond them, the invasion continued…

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Within the giant black cube at the top of the arena, Naruto, bearing the enormous blade of Tessaiga; Sasuke, wielding the blades Tensaiga and Tokijin and having the nagging feeling he should be carrying Ofuda; and the Sandaime Hokage faced of against the First and Second Hokages, and Orochimaru…

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It all started when _something _fell from the sky and landed close to where the Death Eaters were camping for the night. Contrary to popular belief, they weren't really idiots, just bigoted, self-assured and arrogant, so they knew enough to pack tents.

Crabbe and Goyle were, unfortunately, dead to the world. Malfoy got tangled up in his robe-jamas, screaming bloody murder. Zabini _would _have woken up, but his sword was talking to him. Something about power, you know, the usual stuff…

Pansy Parkinson merely turned over in her sleep, pulled her pillow over her head and snuggled against her Draco Malfoy extra-large pillow (available at the 'Draco Malfoy Is Hot' specialty store, a division of Malfoy Inc.).

That left Daphne Greengrass as the only person to wake up and wonder what the fuss was about in time to check it out. Pulling on her leather suit with the magical quick-change abilities available to all women but never invoked when a man is waiting– you don't want to seem eager, after all, make them wait a couple of hours– she drew her wand and advanced at the quite obvious crater outside the camp that for some reason hadn't caused a pressure wave that flattened all their tents.

Pointing her wand forward like a weapon, she cautiously slid down the crater, which should still have been steaming but strange and conveniently wasn't. A black… pod seemed imbedded at the center of the crater. Cautiously, she slid towards it.

The pod opened, and something leapt out. She fired a spell out of reflex, but it went wide, hitting a passing bat and causing him to fall down in a humorous manner. She raised her left arm to shield her face instinctively as the thing closed in…

Green light flared in the night.

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**- To be continued...**

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A/N: Now figuring out _that_ scene couldn't be too hard, could it?

And, yes, the rest of my fics are in the works. Now can anyone send me comic scans of the Batmen of All Nations, a.k.a. the Club of Heroes?

And yes, I'll see what I can do about making them les absurd than this. I can se very well it's insane, yet I'm still writing it! Clearly my muse is having problems…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	23. The Last Fight Of The Arc

A/N: I'll admit it. I'm a Sasuke fan. I think he's cool and has great techniques, skill and ability, and I don't care how many people hate me for it!!! He's a real ninja, who solves his problems with strategy, tactics and creative applications of violence, unlike Naruto, who solves things by technique spam and the power of his friendship speeches (see Pein fight for liberal applications of both. The only creative and original things he did was the 'clone charka batteries' idea and turning one of the Peins into a stone frog…). To compare, Naruto couldn't kill Deidara even with Kakashi helping. Sasuke did, even if he technically had less charka, less endurance, no assistance, while Deidara was airborne, because he used his brains. He's a better developed personality too.

Besides, Naruto looks and dresses like a DBZ character (orange clothes, blonde hair, energy aura effect), to which I am allergic.

(waits a while)

And now the flaming will begin…

* * *

Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 23: The Last Fight Of The Arc

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the series that I have kidnapped for use in my own devious devices. Please don't hurt me, I own nothing…

* * *

The wind blew, even through the purple-y force field barrier, causing hair to flutter emo-dramatically as Naruto (backed up by Inu-Yasha and Shippo), Sasuke (backed up by Sesshomaru) and the Sandaime Hokage (backed up by the other two and his monkey Enma) faced off against Orochimaru, backed up by his necromantically revived Hokages.

"Naruto," the Sandaime said, using a free action to talk, "it's not that I mind seeing a friendly face, but what exactly are you–"

Sasuke coughed pointedly.

"– and Sasuke," the Sandaime recovered smoothly, "doing here?"

"We were the only ones fast enough to get through the hole," Sasuke said.

Naruto peered at Orochimaru. "Isn't that the pervert who was stalking us to ask you out, teme?"

"No, he was trying to steal our scroll," Sasuke said, then added, "Dobe."

"Is that what you call it?"

"Do you want to die?"

"Bring it, I'll kick your ass!"

The two turned to glare each other as everyone sweatdropped.

The Sandaime coughed politely. "Boys, fight the missing-nin now, yell at each other later."

"Is this the quality of Konoha's ninja now, Sarutobi-sensei?" Orochimaru said derisively, not looking very impressed at the two despite their entrance. "Undisciplined thugs with overly Freudian weaponry?"

Sarutobi tried to glare but he really couldn't fault the assessment. "Does the size of your sword indicate anything?"

"Don't get off track!" Orochimaru said. "I'm not the one who's being protected by children!"

"Yeah?," Naruto yelled back at him. "Let's see how you'll feel when we kick your ass!"

Sarutobi paused a moment. He had a sneaking suspicion about this… "Naruto, don't you recognize those two men?"

Naruto looked at the Shodai and Nidaime Hokages "Bunch of guys. So what?"

On the other side of the barrier, the ANBU slapped their foreheads.

Sasuke 'thwapped' Naruto on the back of the head. "Baka…"

"Ow! What?!?"

Sarutobi held up a finger to Orochimaru, and the other smugly obliged him by not going for his throat right away. "Naruto," the Hokage said, "See the Hokage Monument? Take a good look at it, then compare it with those two gentlemen. Don't speak, just look."

Naruto frowned, but did as he was told. He looked at the monument. Then at the two with Orochimaru. Then at the monument. Then at the two with Orochimaru. Rinse. Repeat.

Orochimaru did his nails.

Sasuke took out a polishing cloth and worked on Tokijin's blade.

Sarutobi pulled a Sudoku book from his pouch.

Finally, revelation dawned on Naruto's overcast skies. "Oh…" he said quietly.

The three, satisfied, put away the things they'd been waiting with.

"THIS IS AWESOME! I GET TO BEAT TWO HOKAGES!" Naruto exulted.

On the other side of the barrier, the ANBU slapped their foreheads again.

* * *

"YES! Oh YES!" Greengrass cried as she blasted fire from her hands. "I am a sexy, fiery, GODDESS OF WAR!!!!"

"Sod off, Greengrass," Malfoy said, annoyed she'd stolen his line. _**HE**_ was the sexy, fiery goddess of war, darn it!

…

Er, GOD! God of war! That's right, sexy, fiery _**GOD**_ of war…!

The burning figure that was Greengrass now smirked at him. At least, it seemed like a smirk. Definitely a smirk-like expression. "You'd better be nicer to me, Malfoy. Solaris can burn you where you stand."

"I eat fire for breakfast," Malfoy snarled back, hefting his gunblade. The voices in his head said so, at least, in between cries for their mother and some sorceress. "And I thought you were calling that one 'Hellios', with two 'Ls' for extra bad-assness?"

At that moment, the symbol somehow grafted onto Grenngrass' chest blinked, making an accompanying beeping sound, once, twice, and she was back to normal again. "Bugger," she swore, tapping the metal device now back on her arm, the hourglass-like shape on its face glowing red. "How long was that?"

Parkinson checked her watch. "I'm not sure. Time seems to go weird around that thing…"

Zabini, meanwhile, was slowly going insane from the evil voice in his head…

* * *

And so, the battle was on.

Sasuke, not having gone through 'Angsty Uchiha Secret History 101' yet, was unaware he was fighting an ages old family feud as he dueled the reanimated Shodai Hokage. Tokijin's evil aura seared the Mokuton jutsu sent his way, making environmentalists everywhere cry. The Hokage was dueling his student, oversized staff to sword, making use of his greater experience, skill, and reach weapon to overcome his former-student's dirty tricks and general creepiness. Naruto–

"KAZE NO KIZU! _KAZE NO KIZU!! __**KAZE NO KIZU!!!"**_

–Naruto made use of wave-motion sword-beam spamming.

The purple cube made interesting ripples as Naruto's blasts struck its surface, and an enterprising survivor with a camcorder later made a tidy sum selling the footage as a visual relaxation tape.

Sasuke finally managed to score a direct hit on his target by outsmarting it outsmarting him outsmarting it with a cleverly timed light whip in conjunction with several Raitei Shourai ofuda he stubbornly refused to admit he remembered how to make, even though he obviously did. The loss of one foot was enough to degrade its maneuverability such that Sasuke was reasonably sure it was dead center in the blast radius of the follow up Kenatsu blast. He then followed it up with a quarter of his explosive tags (all 343 of them), several balsts of wind, fire lightning and water from the appropriate flavored elemental ofuda, enough _shuriken, kunai _and_ senbon _to build a small plane and a Sōryūha for good measure**. **After all, remember Uchiha clan rule #23: There is no such thing as overkill, just **not **_**dead ENOUGH!**_

That done, he stepped back, keeping a wary eye on the Hokage and Naruto, both still fighting their opponents. He got ready to assist whichever might be having trouble.

Then he blinked and sighed, beginning to trudge towards the blond. Once within range, he didn't bother with speech, instead bonking the boy smartly on the head with the flat of his blade despite his overwhelming urge to use the edge.

"OW!" Naruto cried, whirling to face him. "What's the big idea, teme?"

Sasuke pointed. "It's already dead, you idiot."

Naruto blinked, then peered through the smoke. Sure enough, once it cleared, he could plainly that he'd long managed to achieve Kentucky Fried Hokage. "Oh," he sweatdropped.

The two looked at each other. "Help the old man?" Naruto suggested.

Sasuke shrugged. "Might as well."

By the time the two of them had turned around, the Hokage was sucking Orochimaru's soul-arms off.

* * *

"But–" Hermione protested.

"No!" Ginny declared, raising a finger to forestall her lover's protests. "No, no, no, no, a thousand times no. That map of yours is cursed! I don't know how, but it is! So, we are buying passage on this merchant caravan that's going to Fire Country, to this Konoha place, and you will pay for it and you will sit down and you will like it and we will make out like rabid Veela until we can't see straight, and we are never buying Hibiki-brand maps again, have you got that!?! I'm tired of getting lost!!!"

"Yes dear," Hermione said weakly.

Ginny nodded in satisfaction, then turned to glare at all the people staring at her because of her outburst. Several had nosebleeds. As many had their mouths open, drooling onto the floor. "Well? Haven't you seen two lesbians arguing before?"

One courageously suicidal young man with swirly glasses raised his hand. "We're don't know. Can you two make out so that we can be sure?"

"_**FLIPENDO!!!**_"

The other men on the caravan bought him drinks until he was out of his cast.

* * *

"You bastard!" Orochimaru cried as feeling fled his arms, the Hokage falling dead at his feet. "You broke a nail!!!" He growled, realizing he still had two powerful opponents to deal with. Ah well, this was the good thing about being a ninja: unlike with samurai, retreat was always an option. "Sound retreat! Fall back!!!"

The barrier collapsed around them and the Sound 4-to-6 (depending) moved to get their master the heck out of there, blocking the pursuit of the ANBU after them. Sasuke tried to follow but Naruto grabbed him by the collar, which stretched 3 feet before snapping back. "Are you nuts?" the blond cried. "You have to help the old man!"

"Curse you Konoha!" Orochimaru cried, waving his fist– then, after realizing he couldn't do that any more, sticking out a lot of his tongue– at the general direction of the monument. "Foiled again! I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids!"

All around them, what was left of his forces were withdrawing, some crying about lawyers and weird sex-changing catgirls. Konoha tried to pursue, but not to far, aware now was not a good time to leave the village.

On the roof of the arena box where they'd fought, the jounins and other ninja were already gathering, staring in helpless agony at the corpse of their great leader. The stomach of his bodysuit was torn open, revealing a circular seal. Naruto and Sasuke were kneeling next to him, speaking in hushed but slightly angry, almost feral tones, ignoring the ANBU medic who was hopelessly trying to see if the Hokage could be saved but was only being forced to conclude it was too late.

"Father," Asuma whispered, almost mumbling, the filter of his cigarette being crushed in his teeth. "No, Hokage-sama. We failed you… Failed to protect you…"

"There, there, Asuma," Kurenai said, putting one arm around him and patting his shoulder. Asuma, grief stricken but with dude instincts still sharply homed, immediately tried to con sympathy from the hot kunoichi. The sensitivity rose, and he was crying onto her shoulder, and she was forced to put both arms around him and pat him on the back.

Behind him, Sasuke raised Tensaiga and slashed down.

Asuma's wild weeping covered the sound of several people gasping. He was on a roll now, and decided to borrow a page from the Uchiha School of Dramatics For The Vengeful Orphan With A Mission Of Retribution. "Father, I swear," he bawled. "I shall not rest until you have been avenged!"

"Asuma…" Kurenai tried to hiss at him.

"I swear on your grave that neither I nor my family shall enter heaven or hell until your killer has been bought to justice!" Asuma continued, really getting into it now. "I shall gain strength and live life in an unsightly manner, until Orochimaru is dead!"

"Asuma…!" she hissed louder.

"– criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot– !"

"Asuma!"

"– with great power comes great wangst and stupidity– !"

BONK!

Asuma yelped, turning to see who had hit him, then gawked at where his father was glaring at him, half exasperated, half amused. "Really son," he said, handing Naruto back Tensaiga's sheath. "You're starting to sound like some kind of angsty avenger wearing a bed-sheet tied around his neck. I'm fine."

Sasuke 'harumphed' pointedly.

"Oh, sorry Sasuke-kun. My bad."

"Wow," Kakashi said, appraising his student. "You _have_ become good at healing…"

* * *

Emergency response measures soon followed, with much patching up of wounded, subduing and surviving prisoners, securing places for the displaced, etc. Things were greatly helped by Yami Hinata's various healing cards and sexy nurse-esque monsters, who did much to improve morale, along with a few of Haku's Succubi. Sasuke managed to revive those who hadn't been dead long enough for decay, necrosis, brain damage due to lack of oxygen or over-mutilation to set in, which was a lot of people. Apparently, there were limits on reviving humans.

Oh, and Harry Potter helped out in the hospital. Don't worry, he'll become important again soon, be patient!!!

* * *

Everyone still alive and uncaptured eventually managed to return to Hidden Sand, where zany hi-jinx ensued upon the discovery of the real Kazekage's corpse. Mass hysteria was barely restrained by the suddenly evangelical Gaara and his Shukaku puppet, preaching about their message of kindness, caring for people, protecting the people around you and doing all you can to provide happiness for others, according to the doctrine of her Gracious Kindness Sakura! It so creeped everyone out they forgot to make trouble…

Days later, when people were getting around to taking what he said seriously, with a few people beginning to convert to what Gaara and Shukaku were preaching, Temari casually sneaked away from the village. She had some explanations to make.

Now, if only she managed not to get herself killed by a Leaf-nin…

* * *

A seriously mentally disturbed and horrendously injured Oto-nin (let's call him Biggs) was dragging the highly mutilated body of his fellow Oto-nin (formerly known as Wedge), a sword thrust through said body and wrapping it in chains. He was giggling about shirtless sparklies and pretty flowers, surely signs of extreme mental damage. On the way back to his homebase, he encountered the two other Sound-nin we shall call Loz and Yazoo. After much freaking out, the three continued on their way home, now all insane…

* * *

Voldemort entered the room where his cousin Orochimaru was resting and paused, starring. Scented candles burned all over the room, surrounding a bathtub full of bubbles. Easy listening music played over hidden speakers. Orochimaru lay in the bathtub, arms hanging out to either side as Kabuto examined them.

"This is all pretty gay," Voldemort declared, taking it all in while listening to Frank Sinatra.

"No, it's all butch," Orochimaru managed to say through gritted teeth. Something moved in the mass of bubbles. "See? I've got a boat. Model of the Battleship Aegis."

"Ah," Voldemort said. "Yes, that makes this manly." Then he frowned. "What did you use to move the… never mind, I don't want to know. Why did you call for me."

Orochimaru hissed involuntarily as Kabuto did something medical-jutsu-y. "I need to ask you a favor…"

Voldemort raised an eyebrow. "Continue…"

And that was how Voldemort found himself heading for Konoha to make some trouble…

* * *

Temari had decided to go on a roundabout route back to Konoha, eventually hitching a ride with a merchant caravan taking the scenic route. She took the time to ponder what she would say to Harry. Thankfully, a cute lesbian couple, Ginny and Hermione (foreigners from _very_ far off, from the looks of them. They had the same accent as Harry…), were willing to give her some advice. The three of them became very good friends…

* * *

In the Hidden Base of Hidden Sound, the Sound Whatever-Number-They-Are slept in their bunks, dreaming their brainwashed dreams. The roof ceiling had finally stopped leaking from the result of the near-miss with the asteroid a few days ago.

Something squeezed under the door of their dormitory, something black and liquid-y, yet giving the sense of something strangely reptilian. It crept, unheard, unseen, undetective, even by these who should be able to. Black threads spread, sampling…

There! It latched on to one of the sleeping forms, and began to bind it, binding around it, in it.

When Kidoumaru awoke and realized what was happening, he opened his mouth– to cry out, to scream– and it went in all the way…

_We are ready…!_

* * *

- To be continued...

* * *

A/N: I have no idea what's been happening with Inu-Yasha and company, and don't know or care about Tessaiga and Tensaiga's new powers, nor of Sesshy's new sword. Unless someone points me in the direction of a handy web shrine that details their respective new abilities, their powers as I know them are what I'm going by, since I'm not going through the entire manga series just to find out. Takahashi's artwork doesn't scan well into onemanga…

I'm not bashing Naruto here, mind you. It's perfectly in line with how he was in pre-timeskip…

AS for the Deatheater brigade, it could be worse. I could have given them each a possessed silver Denarius…

Yes, I went there. With everything.

And now, a Discworld Cameo for **Ordan**…

* * *

**OMAKE: SPECIAL SUMMONING TECHNIQUE!!!**

* * *

The Sandaim Hokage's hands flashed as he made the seals for his technique. "Kuchoyse no Jutsu: Guardain of the Books!"

Orochimaru tensed. His sensei wasn't calling Enma? What new summon did the old man have up his sleeves? Changing stances, he prepared to protect himself from his former-teacher's latest surprise.

"Ook?" a long-armed, orange haired thing that looked like a pear-shaped sack with floor-dragging arms said, coming out of the smoke.

Orochimaru blinked. "That's it?"

"Foolish Orochimaru," the Hokage said. "You see before you one of my most powerful allies, able to bend time and space itself."

"That little monkey?" Orochimaru said derisively.

The Librarian grinned. Or at least raised the corners of his mouth and showed all his teeth…

Orochimaru started screaming about two seconds later.

_**Never**_ call the Librarian a 'monkey'…

* * *

**END!**

* * *

And now we once more play our favorite game, _**GUESS THAT UPGRADE!**_If you want a hint, I conceived this idea around May 7, 2007…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	24. Capability Voldemort

A/N: Harry returns as a main character! Will wonders never cease? Now leave me alone! You know who you are!

It is my desire to write something so good I get put on the TvTropes Crowning Moment of Awesome for fanfics (tvtropes. org/ pmwiki/ pmwiki. php/ CrowningMoment/ FanFic) page. Just a hint, you know…

* * *

Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 24: Capability Voldemort

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this massively-multiplayer crossover. Please don't sue me.

* * *

Harry Potter was sitting outside a café, drinking tea and trying to ignore the voices in his head. Ah, tea. Between the rebuilding efforts of thousands of Naruto clones, Sakura's powerful magics and everyone else chipping in, Konoha was more than half-rebuilt, though most buildings still needed a coat of paint. There were still things to be done, but the place was secure enough that, should someone else think to invade believing the village had been severely weakened, there'd be a big surprise in store.

There could be time for tea.

Harry wasn't the only one enjoying the village's current tranquility, across from him, one eating a chocolate cake delicately, the other dealing with a bowl or minestrone soup, were two travelers, their cloud-embroidered black cloaks hanging slightly open, their hats on the table next to them.

"You were right, Harry-san," the taller one said as he enjoyed his slice. He was blue, but after all the weird people Harry had met, both on and off this continent, who was he to judge? "This is _very_ good cake."

"It's the cocoa," Harry said, sipping his tea. "Most places scrimp on the cocoa, and end up with vaguely chocolate-tinged black sponges. This place, however, doesn't cut corners. I'd recommend the mousse next. Very flavorful."

"This soup could use a little salt, though," the shorter man said, dabbing at the corner of his mouth delicately before taking another sip. Harry handed him the shaker, which was graciously accepted. He thought there was something vaguely familiar about the man. He looked a bit like Snape, come to think of it, but with a smaller nose…

In his head, Kenshin said something vaguely mothering about how sitting around drinking tea all day wasn't exactly healthy for him. Shishio suggested he go kill something. Soujiro was wondering if maybe they could have a slice of cake too. Harry thought that was a good idea, but unfortunately, a look at the clock the café they were eating at kept outside in consideration of its clientele told him it was nearing the time for his appointment with the Hokage. Given how busy everyone was, and the injuries the man had sustained, Harry had actually expected to have to wait longer to speak to him.

Harry excused himself, thanking his companions for their pleasant conversation. The two waved him good bye as he walked of towards his meeting.

He was therefore very far away when Kakashi showed up and hell broke loose…

* * *

The Hokage looked like he'd been through hell. Given he'd died and been brought back, Harry wondered what his opinion on the accuracy of that statement was.

It was a short meeting. The Hokage said that due to the recent crisis, they were obviously back up. While they _dearly_ wanted to pursue Orochimaru– and they would– the time it would take to be up to strength would cause the trail to grow cold.

Harry understood, he really did. After all, the English Wizarding world had gone through a similar period. Still, the Hokage said, he would make sure to tell his successor to prioritize this project.

"You're retiring?" Harry said, surprised, though he wondered why he should be.

"I'm a bit too old for this now," the Hokage said. "My successor is being fetched as we speak. Not to worry. She'll be well motivated to go through with this matter."

"Well, that's good, I guess," Harry said, though inside, he was getting a bit impatient. When he'd been with Temari, delays hadn't felt so pressing. They'd been welcome, even. But now he was eager to see this matter done with so he could go home to his girlfriends. "Thank you for your time, Hokage-sama."

* * *

Somewhere, Naruto was off on a whirlwind adventure that would end up teaching him a new technique that would eventually be cranked up to ridiculous levels of power and be abused _ad nauseam _by the filler episodes. Due to violent demands, however, we won't be showing that…

* * *

At the gates of Konoha, two chuunin that were that day's immigration officers were barring the way of a figure in a dark cloak. That meant nothing: dark cloaks were nearly as common a fashion accessory as pants among ninja. More. Some didn't wear pants.

"Excuse me sir, but could we see some kind of identification?" one said while the other kept back and covered him.

The figure raised a short, chopstick length piece of wood. The movement wasn't overtly hostile, and the guards were not yet paranoid enough to see all movements as a killer technique off to see them to their makers. Their lack of reaction was long enough for Voldemort to cast his spell.

"_Jedius,_," Voldemort cast. "You don't need to see any identification."

The two guards, slightly glassy-eyed but otherwise normal, both repeated. "We don't need to see any identification."

"I'm not anyone you're looking for," Voldemort said soothingly.

"You're not anyone we're looking for."

"I may go about my business."

"You may go about your business."

"Move along."

"Move along."

Voldemort nodded in satisfaction and was about to start walking again, when he paused, raising his wand to recast the spell. "Also, seeing as I am a newcomer you wish to feel welcome in your village, you have graciously given me all your money without finding it suspicious for you to do so, as well as recommending a good hotel for me, and a nice place to have dinner that is well within the price range of the money you have given me."

The two reached for their wallets. "Also, seeing as you are a newcomer we wish to feel welcome in our village…"

It's the little things that build up to badassery…

* * *

Sasuke had no problems about doing his duty to his village. Reviving people who'd died during the attack with Tenseiga was for the good after all. It helped bring the village back to strength, kept important knowledge alive and in circulation, and bought him a lot of good will he could cash in later. Also, the traumatized child who had to watch his family die while he was powerless to stop it inside him cried happy tears and did a cute little happy dance to a nice little happy song whenever he saw a family reunited again. He'd deny it if you ask him, though.

But if he had to bring back to life one more dead cat…!

* * *

Harry, with energy he needed to burn, sought out Naruto, one of the few people he knew in Konoha, to have a friendly spar with, only to find he'd left the village on some mission or other. He thought to give Sasuke a call, and changed his mind when he found him. When someone is ranting about dead cats in the middle of a hospital ward while wielding a sword is not the time to intrude on them.

He went to check out the other people he'd come to know, however casually, around the village, just to give himself something to do and to provide some background exposition on the saga that was his life. The Hinata girl– or was that girls?– it turned out, was currently busy taking the opportunity to use the reconstruction of the village to reorganize her clan. From what Harry could hear as he got closer to their compound, she was removing something they were calling a Caged Bird Seal (that didn't sound happy), setting up trust exercises, undoing at least three generations worth of lousy and divisive traditions, and requiring everyone hug at least fifteen different people a day. The results were mixed. Fortunately, she was too damned scary for anyone to cross.

Ino and Sakura were working in one of the temporary hospitals, clearly busy, so he left right away. Haku hadn't been seen since the end of the invasion, though regular deliveries of food, energy drinks and soldier pills to his room, as well as the continued presence of a few succubi helping with the reconstruction and healing told Harry he was still alive. Somewhere.

Zabuza was nowhere to be found, though it would later turn out he'd been asleep in his room.

A very bored Harry went to find an empty field to train with the voices in his head…

* * *

Voldemort checked into the hotel that had been recommended to him and went out for some lunch. It was a very good lunch. Then he went looking for Harry, since even though he was there as a favor to his cousin to cause some mayhem, an evil overlord needs to keep his priorities straight…

* * *

Temari resisted the urge to whistle innocently to herself as she walked back into Konoha. Her bigger fan was hidden in a scroll, Kagura's fan was secured to her wrist for easy release, and she was using every bit of infiltration training she'd picked up at the Academy and her sensei to get through Konoha's security. She wasn't sure if it was some combination of dumb lcuk, benevolent celestial forces of her sheer awesome skills that did it, but she got through with no incident.

She was out of sight of the Village entrance before her heartbeat finally went down from it's jackhammer rate and she was able to think coherently again. Now came the hard part. How was she to make contact with Harry again? She hadn't really thought she'd get this far, no matter what Hermione and Ginny had said, having partially resigned herself to some kind of doomed final stand in the gates of Konoha as Harry came rushing to her side in time to cradle her broken, bleeding body.

This is what passes for standard romantic fare among ninja. It explains a lot about them.

She took a deep breath to steady herself. His hotel room. It should still be there, hopefully. From what she'd remembered, they hadn't been able to enact the mass urban leveling portion of the plan. His hotel room would be the best place to start.

Straightening and listening to Kagura's words of encouragement, Temari set off.

* * *

"Finally!" Ginny cried as she stood in front of the high, wide gates of Konoha. "Finally we made it! No detours, no shortcuts, no 'I think I see a way for us to shave of a few hours, just come along with me', no more! We're here! We're in Konoha!"

"Yes Ginny, we're in Konoha," Hermione sighed. "Must you keep making a big deal out of it?"

"Yes. Yes, I must. I very, very much must."

"You're being very unreasonable."

"I'm the redhead in this relationship, I'm entitled."

"That makes no sense."

"Exactly!"

They passed through customs, which was a lot more trying because they were honest– well, honest-ish– people who didn't going around magick-ing everyone to their will. Eventually, however, they were walking the streets and being told about a good hotel they could go to, as well as a nice place to have dinner. Because good hotels and nice places to eat were good for the tourist industry, such as it was.

They set off to the hotel, which they had also been told by the gate guards had a man with Harry's description there. Usually wouldn't just give out such information, but it turned out the man was something of a celebrity because of a recent spot of trouble and everyone knew where he was anyway.

They listened for a moment to what the 'little spot of trouble' was.

"Only Harry," Ginny said, shaking her head and smiling. "Only Harry could possibly be involved in helping stop an invasion on a village he'd only arrived at a month before. A _month_ before," she repeated pointedly.

"I said I was sorry," Hermione said. "Here, let me make it up to you. I know a short cut for getting to that hotel." She held out the map she held in her hands.

Ginny's eyes narrowed. "Hermione…" she said warningly.

"Oh, come on, it'll be more fun than Apparating, and if we get lost we can just Apparate back to the gate and go your way," Hermione said. "Trust me!" She began pulling Ginny towards an alley.

Ginny sighed. "I hope I live to regret this," she muttered. She entered the alleyway.

In defiance of accepted Narrative convention, it was _not_ a dark alley. It was fairly well lit, given the time of day, and smelled more of sawdust and fresh paint than anything else. The next few shortcut alleys they entered also smelled of the same.

By the fifth alley, Ginny knew. "Hermione, we're lost again, aren't we?"

"Um…"

"_HERMIONE GRANGER!!!!_"

"I'm sorry!!!"

"Well, well… what a coincidence."

They'd both heard that voice before. Unfortunately, it hadn't happened enough times for them to develop instincts related to it, and they'd hardly been in the most alert frame of mind. Both had barely thought to turn around, much less reach for their wands before two lightning fast spells rendered them unconscious.

Voldemort smirked, making a show of blowing on the end of his wand and twirling it in his fingers. "Fastest wand in the wesssst," he drawled. He wouldn't admit it, but he'd liked watching those old American westerns back in the orphanage. "Such a wonderful opportunity shouldn't be wasted. _**IMPERIO!**_"

* * *

When a sweaty, exhausted returned to his, he was greeted by the tackle-hug of an excited young blonde Suna kunoichi.

"T-temari?!?" he said, stating the obvious. Then he couldn't say anything for a while, since her mouth was monopolizing his. He did, however, have the presence of mind to close the door. There was no click to indicate it had locked.

When he was finally allowed to speak, they were on the floor, his sword belt askew as they both leaned on the trunk at the foot of his bed. "W-what are you doing here?" he asked, slightly breathless.

"I came to see you," she said, murmuring against his chest. "I… I'm sorry I didn't tell you about… about the…"

"Invasion?"

Temari winced. "Yes," she said quietly.

There was a moment of silence.

"I don't hold it against you," Harry said softly. "I, uh, sort of noticed no one from your village made a serious effort to kill me."

She looked up at him in surprise at that. "Really? I'll have to thank them, when I get back."

Another beat.

"That was… easier than I thought it would be," Temari said. They shared a nervous laugh.

"You know, you should really take a bath," Temari observed.

Harry nodded, moving to get up. Temari stayed seated, watching him with a smile.

"Shouldn't you be shyly turning away or something?" Harry said.

"You must have me mistaken for someone else," Temari said, her smile getting wider.

Harry beat a retreat for the bathroom and locked the door.

"You realize I can just pick the lock, right?" Temari called after him, laughter in her voice.

Through the door, she heard Harry answer back. She could practically hear the blush in his voice. "Would you at least make yourself useful and pull out some fresh clothes for me? They're in the trunk."

Laughing louder, so he'd hear it, she bent down and popped open the trunk. Someone had apparently slashed the lock open at some point. A small pile of clothes was on top, and Temari picked up what Harry would need. She was about to close the trunk when she noticed that the clothes were piled on what appeared to be weapons. Curious, she took out the rest of the clothes to get a better look at everything.

When Harry came out of the bathroom, having summoned the clothes Temari had set aside for him, she'd drawn out some of the assorted objects from inside the trunk.

"Where did you find all this?" Temari said as she put down a long staff topped with some kind of intricately made crest that looked like a weird cross between outstretched feathery wings and a butterfly, picking up a box full of glowing spheres. She picked up a few and started to juggle them.

"You can juggle?" Harry said, surprised.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Please. It's not exactly complicated, for a ninja, anyway." As if to prove it, she switched to one hand. With the other, she picked up a plush doll. It looked like some kind of strange soldier, complete with a sword and shield. "This is pretty cute. Where did you find all this?"

"They came with the trunk," Harry said. "You want it?"

Temari put down the doll and the glowing spheres, pinking up what looked like a giant metal claw pincer. "Meh," Temari said. "You could probably sell some of these. They're pretty good quality." She slipped on the thing experimentally. It was surprisingly light.

Harry, meanwhile, was picking up the weapons Temari had already pawed through, setting them aside on the bed. "I wouldn't know where to start," Harry said. "Besides, these things are pretty cool."

Temari gave the things Harry was handling a disparaging look. "Please. That _nunchuka_ is too big to be used properly, and honestly, who makes a whip out of metal?"

There was a knock on the door. Harry frowned, wondering who it could be, while Temari merely looked up expectantly. Harry opened the door and his blood went cold.

Ginny and Hermione smiled at him from across the threshold. "Hello Harry," Hermione said.

Harry was so busy trying to think of a plausible explanation of why Temari was in his room, that it took him a moment to realize the two girls had raised their wands. Instinct made him duck.

That was all that kept him by being blasted by a pair of blasts made of very familiar green light…

* * *

Two rooms down the hall, Voldemort watched cable, smiling to himself as he heard the sounds of fighting in the building.

* * *

**- To be continued...**

* * *

A/N: Fodder for a fic I have no intention of touching: Snape is actually an Uchiha.

I'm thinking of a possibly unique kind of Voldemort here. One that's learned from his mistakes and gone and read the Evil Overlord list. I wonder how that would go…

Or maybe one whose learned a little humility and going back to basics, in a solo-warrior kind of way.

Let's retcon Zack's, and by extension Zabuza's, Limit Break list, shall we? I'll give him the Crisis Core one.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


	25. What? We Need To Rebuild Again?

A/N: I think this series is a Crowning Moment of Funny, don't you?

* * *

Raikiri Triken: The Three Souls Swordsman

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Chapter 25: What Do You Mean We Need To Rebuild Again?

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this massively-multiplayer crossover. Please don't sue me.

* * *

It was a beautiful day in Konoha

Then the side of a hotel exploded.

* * *

_A few minutes ago…_

Harry ducked as the twin killing curses flew over him, thankfully only hitting the opposite wall and blasting a pair of holes. Reflexively, he slammed the door shut, earning a pair of indignant cries. Harry rolled away from the door, fumbling for his wand. Merlin, how long had it been since he'd used it? It felt like months.

"Harry?" Temari said, sounding a bit surprised.

"Temari, get out of here!" Harry said, finally drawing his wand and magically sealing the door even as a pair of holes were blasted through it. "Those are friends of mine, and either their _really_ mad or they're being controlled."

The door was blasted off its hinges, and the two girls calmly stepped through the opening, Hermione deflecting Harry's knee-jerk Disarming spell as Ginny sent another barely-dodged jet of green light. Their faces were blank and empty.

"I'm thinking someone's controlling them," Temari said she ducked as Ginny sent a green blast at her, grabbing the staff she'd just put down a moment ago and using it to sweep Ginny's feet out from under her. The redhead fell, rolling with the movement to avoid the swipe to her head. A half-aimed spell cast with a cry of "_Relashio!_" clipped Temari's shoulder, sending her spinning.

Harry, meanwhile, was dueling Hermione, trying to overwhelm her so she wouldn't be able to launch something as powerful as a Killing Curse. It was nearly impossible in the enclosed confines of the small room, and furniture and the clothes they'd taken out of the trunk were being shredded. It was all happening so fast. Harry ignored the mental chatter from the peanut gallery, completely focused on the duel.

Thus, it was only the combined screaming of the peanut gallery and Kagura that made him dodge, causing the spell Ginny had sent at him to miss. Temari recovered, grabbing Ginny from behind and flipping the girl over her shoulder, wrenching away her wand and throwing said wand to the side. The witch hit the floor awkwardly, her back slamming into a giant shuriken left lying on the floor.

The Suna kunoichi was about to flip Ginny over and incapacitate her with a hold when the girl suddenly twisted strangely in her grip, wrenching her arm free. Her other hand swept upward, and Temari had to dart back to avoid being slashed by the cross-shaped shuriken the witch was suddenly holding. Temari hooked the staff she'd dropped to flip over Ginny with her foot and kicked it up, grabbing it in time to fend off the weapon Ginny was now wielding skillfully. The sound of shuriken striking staff filled the little room.

Harry, in desperation, charged at Hermione, keeping up the barrage of spells to keep her busy until he got within grabbing range, where he used the skills Soujiro and Kenshin gave him in regard to unarmed combat (since Shishio's skills were all of a lethal bent) to take away her wand. She responded by kicking him where it hurt. There was none of that delayed reaction nonsense; pain filled his very being, and he fell to his knees, instinctively curling into a fetal position. Above him came the tinkle of a small chain and the sound of something being unsheathed.

"Harry!" he heard Temari cry.

Instinct kicked in, and he drew Kenshin's sword from his waist, bringing it up in time to catch the heavy blade Hermione was swinging down at him. His green eyes met her blank ones, which looked at him with empty impassivity that contrasted quite sharply with how enthusiastically she was trying to kill him. Though still pained, he managed to swing his foot up, kicking the girl in the head and sending her stumbling back.

Harry turned over, trying to keep an eye on Hermione while getting to his knees. The bushy-haired witch was shaking her had as if to clear it, but the way she was holding the sword– no, not a sword. It was some kind of weird sword-gun hybrid– told him she was still feeling violent towards him. That didn't really mean anything at this point. "Hermione?" he tried.

Her head rose slowly as he rose to one knee, and her eyes were still blank. Still controlled. She suddenly charged at him raising the blade in her hand in a heavy overhead slash, but her rhythm was ruined by the ceiling, which her blade dug into. Harry dashed forward, slamming the butt of his sword in her stomach. Hermione doubled over, but in the process bought down the butt of _her_ weapon down on _his_ head, causing him to see stars as he stumbled back.

As the two of them reeled, over the sound of Temari and Ginny fighting he could hear the other witch's voice cry out, "Gauntlet!"

And that was when the side of the hotel blew out.

* * *

Voldemort fastidiously flicked dust and debris from his clothes as he looked at where the wall that was now all over his floor used to stand. "Hmm," He said to himself. "Best to find somewhere else to watch this…"

He Disapparated away.

* * *

When Harry's head stopped ringing, he realized he was on a slightly sloped rooftop, Temari looking down at his face in concern. Her face brightened when he opened his eyes. "Harry!" she said "You're all right!"

"Wha… what happened?" Harry managed to get out. "Where are Hermione and Ginny?"

"I… I don't know," Temari said. "I lost track of them during the explosion. I barely got you out before the ceiling came down. Ginny missed me with… whatever it was she did."

Harry was able to boggle at her, even through the pain. "_Ginny_ did that?" He forced himself to sit up, Temair helping him. They were on the roof across from where his room used to be. There was a large hole there now, with piles of rumble. "We need to look for them! They might be injured, or–"

One of the piles of rumble moved. A dusty Hermione was levering herself up on the blade she was going to use to kill Harry. She'd been hit hard by the blast, apparently. One shoulder was bleeding where the oversized nunchucks had apparently struck and wrapped around them, tangled up with another length of metal chain. Next to her, Ginny had apparently used a long metal pole as a support to keep up a corner of the room's mattress as a makeshift partial shelter.

_Harry…_ Kenshin's voice said.

"Not now, Himura," Harry muttered, trying to stand on the roof.

_No Harry, this is important!_

"What!?!"

_Those weapons the girls are holding… they're talking to us,_ Soujiro said. _They sound concerned and upset. And female._

"Oh," Harry said blandly. He glared at the staff Temari was still holding. "I don't suppose there's any chance that's empty, is there?"

_No,_ a new, female voice said in his head.

_Oh, hello,_ Kagura said. _I'm Kagura. Who're you?_

_My name is Yuna,_ the voice said. _High Summoner of Yevon. Pleased to meet you…_

* * *

"This is bullshit," Naruto said, looking at the balloon full of water he was supposed to make explode with his chakra. He'd already done it several times, but the old pervert kept telling him he was doing it wrong!

Just reminding you he's in this story too…

* * *

"Oh, look Ron, a strange bracelet lying on the ground!"

"Luna, what do you need another one for? You already have more than fifteen!"

* * *

Hermione was one of the smartest people Harry knew, while Ginny was one of the most perceptive. Being controlled, unfortunately, did not dull either of these qualities. They were very quick to pick up on the added abilities the things they were holding gave them.

Which was why Harry, and to a lesser extent Temari, was now being attacked by a giant shuriken, a metal staff, a gun-sword combination weapon, a chain whip, giant nunchucks and in some instances Ginny's bare hands. On the plus side, they had apparently not been able to recover their wands from the remains of the room. On the downside, Harry had lost his as well.

Now that they were outdoors, however, Temari was cutting loose, and to hell with her being caught. Kagura's fan was out and blasting, the gale-force-plus level winds keeping the other two girls back. The movement to open spaces also let Harry dodge better, even as he Apparated and _Shukuchi-ed_ to where he thought he could incapacitate the two.

Hermione and Ginny were not going down easy, however, and already both had unleashed ridiculously powerful attacks that they should _not_ be able to do. Hermione's cry of "Shockwave Pulsar" had leveled several blocks. Fortunately it had been a while in coming, and people had been able to run or be bought out in time. Ginny's "Landscaper" had caused the collapse of several buildings.

They had by now, of course, attracted a lot of attention. Ninja were appearing, staying in the sidelines and helping people get to safety, but Harry knew it was only a matter of time before one of the big guns appeared. A small part of him wondered who it would be that would evolve this into an 'out of the frying pan, into the fire' situation.

He was still thinking about it, trying to dodge one of Hermione's increasingly skillful slashes when she suddenly fell asleep…

* * *

Sakura nodded thankfully at The Sleep Card, looking over at the four unconscious foreigners. She winced as she recognized Gaara's sister. Oh, this was going to be awkward. "Someone better tell the Hokage," she said tiredly. "Looks like we're rebuilding again…"

* * *

Tenten whistled quietly to herself as she rang the doorbell to the Hyuuga compound. She smiled at the slightly flustered and annoyed Hyuuga who'd answered the door. Clearly, Yami Hinata's House reorganization plans were causing no small amount of chaos. "Hi, I'm Saotome Tenten. I'm supposed to pick up Neji-chan for our date tonight?"

She caught the small twist to the corner of the Hyuuga's mouth. "Just a moment please," the Hyuuga said. Tenten couldn't be sure if the person she'd been talking to was a guy or a girl. The Hyuuga were worse than her family when it came to androgynous fashions.

Barely five minutes later, a slightly annoyed-looking Neji appeared at the door, wearing her usual sorts, bandages and jacket, although the jacket seemed to have shrunk in the wash, since you could barely make out the outline of her breasts. She'd been getting back to normal after several days of being in a blissful high from Yami removing her seal. "What's this about us having a date?" she said.

Instead of answering, Tenten crossed her arms, glaring at Neji. "What is wrong with you?" she said. Neji blinked. "Don't you know anything? A lady isn't supposed to come to the door right away, she's supposed to tell whoever goes to tell her her date's at the door to tell her date that she's still getting ready and tomake the date wait anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour! Everyone knows that! Heck, I know that, and I'm from the traditionally most socially inept clan in Konoha!" She grabbed Neji by the shoulders. "Now go in there and do it right! And slut up, darn it! At least ditch the jacket!"

"Wha-?" was all Neji was able to say before she was shoved back through the door. From the sounds Tenten made out, some of her female relatives had been lurking in waiting to tell her these things exactly.

The Saotome girl shook her head. "Honestly, I'm supposed to be the guy in this relationship! I shouldn't be talking about these things!"

* * *

**- To be continued...**

* * *

A/N: i couldn't make this _completely _about Harry and girls. The 'Saotome Tenten' and 'girl!Neji' and the most off-the-wall ideas I've ever had, and I'm kinda fond of them. Plus they make a cute couple!

Wonder what those two are doing in the manga…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.


End file.
